Lost in You (Lost in You 1)

I jump slightly when his fingers touch mine. I wasn’t expecting a display of affection and I’m a bit sad when he pulls his hand back. He looks at his parents before turning his attention back to the preacher.

There is distance between us during the sermon, which I expected. What I didn’t expect was the tingling sensation coursing through my body. When the service ends, his mom looks at me. She doesn’t smile, but appraises me. Her eyes travel up and down as if she’s never seen another female before.

“Mom, I’d like you to meet my friends, Hadley and Alex.” Ryan looks at me and smiles. “This is my mom, Sally Stone.”

“Mrs. Stone,” she says, without offering her hand. Alex pinches my side briefly.

“It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Stone.” I offer her my hand and should’ve taken her hint that we weren’t going to shake hands. She looks down at my hand as if I’ve dipped it in meat sauce. I drop my hand and smile. I’m a performer, winning her over shouldn’t be this hard.

“Are you new in town?”

“No, ma’am, we’re just visiting. I met Ryan –”

“You just met Ryan and were already touching him?” The way his mother looks at him makes his head drop. I want to ask her if she believes in love at first sight or that instant connection you feel with someone that makes you do crazy things, but I don’t dare.

“Mom?” Ryan’s voice is soft, questioning. Nothing like the voice I’ve been playing over and over in my head since we’ve met.

“I’ll see you downstairs, Ryan.” She turns and walks away from us. I watch her retreat to people she must know. A few of them point, but she shakes her head, not even turning around to see if we are watching her as she blatantly talks about us behind our backs.

“I’m sorry about my mom.” His words are quiet, meant only for me. I wonder if Alex makes him nervous or if he’s just always this shy. I’ve seen glimpses of someone different underneath, someone that I fully want to explore if given the opportunity. I have a feeling that he’s saving that side of him for a rainy day.

“Don’t be,” I say, placing my hand in his. I need to touch him, especially when he’s this close. “She’s a mom and protective of her boy. I get that.”

Ryan runs his free hand through his hair, creating a mess of waves. I’m curious if he always keep it this shaggy or if he wears it shorter, or maybe

even longer. Not that I’d like him any different.

“There’s coffee and cookies downstairs if you want to come down.” I nod and look over at Alex, who is clearly bored.

“Coffee and cookies downstairs,” I say quietly. Her eyebrow rises as if I’m joking. This is so off-the-chart for her. Alex shakes her head and walks away. I can’t tell if she’s mad or actually going to go downstairs. I didn’t ask her to leave. Maybe being here as a third wheel isn’t her idea of fun.

I look back at Ryan and smile. He’s been watching me this whole time. “Coffee and cookies it is.”

Ryan smiles and starts looking around. He pulls me out of the pew, gripping my hand tightly. We walk in the opposite direction, away from the main door we came in. He brings us down a dark hall and into a small room. I follow in behind him; it’s dark, with only a tiny window at the top of the wall, near the ceiling, letting in a streak of light.

I turn at the sound of the door closing, at the same time Ryan is pulling me to him, knocking off my hat. His hand cups my face, his lips not hesitant like before, but daring. I weave my hand into his hair and gasp when I feel his tongue touch mine. He lets go of my hand, wrapping his arm around my waist. His grip is firm, bringing us closer to each other. His hand trails down my face, my neck, my shoulder and finally his fingertips brush along the side of my breast.

I pull him closer and shift our bodies, his leg between mine. When he moans I know he feels the same sensation that I do and that makes me stop and pull away from him. I’m thankful that the minimal light casts only shadows in this room, because I don’t want him to see the pained look on my face. And I definitely don’t want him to think I’m rejecting him, because I don’t want to, but I have to.

“You make me want to try things I’ve never thought about before.” His lips ghost on my neck, sending shivers down my spine. I want to pretend that I don’t know he’s only seventeen and give into his raging hormones. It’s like I’ve woken a sleeping giant and now that he’s alert, there’s no stopping him. I don’t want to imagine him looking at or even thinking about touching another woman, only me. I’m selfish in thinking that I’ll be enough for him, especially when all I can allow is kissing and even that is probably taking it too far. Standing here in this darkened room, with a horny sexy boy who makes my skin feel as if it’s being burned, all I can think about is showing him how good we can make each other feel.

I step back, putting distance between us. I sense his body go rigid, pained. He lets me take his hand when I reach for it, although I can feel his resistance.

“Have no doubt that I want this between us,” I whisper so prying ears beyond this door can’t hear what I’m about to tell him. “Have no doubt that I want to feel you pressed against me, to let you explore and learn what your touch does to me. As much as it pains me to not touch you and claim you publicly – to tell the world that I’ve found someone that I want to spend every conceivable moment with, even after two days – we have to be cautious and act as if we’re friends. Trust me, it’s killing me. People always say you know when you’ve found that one person and I know, without a doubt, you’re the one.

“We just have to be careful. There’s going to be a day when we can do this and not have to worry about the consequences.”

“I can’t help myself, Hadley. I look at you and I imagine things that I want to do and try with you. I’ve never had these types of thoughts about anyone until I met you, until you let me kiss you.” Ryan bridges the gap between us and kisses me forcefully. “I don’t want to help myself.”

“I can’t either, but we need to try, for both our sakes. Your mom clearly doesn’t appreciate your new friend and once she finds out who I am and how old I am…” I shake my head at the thought. When Ian finds out about Ryan, shit is going to hit the fan. I can’t imagine what Ryan’s mother is going to do, or his father. “We need to be careful.”

“We’ll be careful,” he says, his lips brushing up against mine as he speaks the three words that will hopefully keep us safe.

CHAPTER 13

Ryan

Having Hadley in this dark room only spurred the thoughts I’ve been having about her. I’ve never thought of a girl that way before until now. When I close my eyes, I picture what she looks like with me hovering over the top of her, or pressed against the wall with her legs wrapped around me. These visions of lust cloud my mind. Holding her hand simply ignites a fury beneath my skin with anticipation of what could come.