Lost in You (Lost in You 1)

She’s right. I look over the list and see that I like them all. Alex knew that though. I look over at her, her eyes closed, but she’s trying not to smile. I bump her arm with mine and she breaks out in giggles.

“So, are we taking up residence in Jackson for a bit?”

I want to say no, I do, but I can’t get over how convenient it would be for me to carry on with Ryan and I hope that he’d want me close, at least until he turns eighteen.

Once in the air, Alex and I eat and make small talk with the people next to us. They’re from Jackson and overheard us talking about buying a house. The man is a real estate agent and offers to help me find a house. I take his card and promise to call him. The woman is an interior decorator and Alex snags her card right away.

“You know, that’s the business we should go into.”

“What’s that?” I ask her.

“You buy houses and I’ll decorate and we’ll sell them for profit.”

“Defeats the idea, don’t you think?”

Alex shrugs and picks up her book and starts reading. I lean back, closing my eyes. I conjure up an image of Ryan and I sitting on my couch, enjoying the privacy of a home. Thinking about him makes me realize that I won’t be able to see Ryan tonight, but tomorrow is a different story.

I startle when the captain comes on to tell us we’re about to land. I must’ve fallen asleep. Moments later, our plane touches down. The only thing I can think about is Ryan. I pull out my cell phone and text him.

I’m in town

I barely put my phone away before it vibrates. I pull it back out and smile.

I can’t wait to see you. Tell me where and I will be there

I can’t hide the elation and show Alex the text message.

“I told you so.”

CHAPTER 17

Ryan

I think telling Dylan I’d go to Homecoming with her is a mistake, but I can’t change my mind now. She’s told my mom. If I knew she was going to do that I would’ve said no. I’ve always known Dylan to be sneaky, especially with her parents, but I didn’t expect her to burst in after dinner with magazines to show my mom the dresses she’s thinking about.

I wanted to run into my room and hide under the bed. Instead, I was forced to sit at the table while they gushed over things I have no interest in. I think I took up the art of eye-rolling every time I heard ‘this is perfect’. My mom should’ve had a girl.

Dylan finally left, leaving me to deal with my mom all by myself. I want to tell her that I really don’t want to take Dylan to the dance and that I only said yes because she’s my friend and I knew it would make her happy.

But the look on my mom’s face, when she put her hand on my cheek and smiled, I knew I couldn’t say those words to her. I said goodnight and went to my room to wait for Hadley’s call.

Only Hadley doesn’t call, she texts telling me she is in town. The moment I received her text I wanted to jump out my window and run to her. Unrealistic, I know, but I need to see her. I need to know she’s real and that what I was feeling when she was here is still the same. That the simple touch of her turns my skin into flames. I want to remember the burn.

I hate waiting. I hate knowing that she’s two hours away and that I can’t be with her. I pace my room, listening for my parents. I’ve

grown weary of them since the incident at church. They didn’t ask me about Hadley, I wish they did. I wanted to be able to say I’ve met someone that I want to get to know better.

But they don’t ask.

They just stare.

They walk around and look at me out of the corner of their eyes. My dad will shake his head or mumble something under his breath as he walks by, but nothing else. Don’t they care? I held a girl’s - no, a woman’s – hand in church. Someone they don’t know and have never seen and they can’t be bothered to ask me who she is.

My mom, aside from Dylan coming over, hasn’t said anything to me. She hasn’t asked about my homework or my work schedule. She hasn’t even asked me how school is going. It’s like I don’t exist. I’m afraid to interrupt her. If she’s not cooking, her nose is buried in her Bible and I know not to bug her while she’s reading. Yet, she’s always reading and probably praying for my salvation.

I look at my phone; she hasn’t texted back. I wish I knew where she was staying because I would go there. I don’t care how long it takes me to walk. Knowing Hadley is at the end of the road waiting for me makes it all worth it.

But is she waiting? I second-guess her and myself. What if she’s here to tell me we can’t be anything but friends, especially after her manager saw the pictures of us? Pictures I still haven’t seen and would like to. I’d like to have at least one picture of us together. A memory.