He turns his head slightly and looks at me. “I’m sorry I fucked us up.” With that he gets up and leaves me alone in the room. I hear the bus start up and wonder if Cole has decided to drive it himself, leaving Ian behind. Wouldn’t that be such a nice surprise?
I lie back down and close my eyes. I hope that I don’t dream, because if I do it will be nothing but a nightmare until I wake up.
When the sun blasts through the window I think Cole forgot to shut the curtains. I roll over, only to find he isn’t in bed and hasn’t been according to the untouched sheets on his side. I look around and realize we aren’t on the bus anymore, but in a hotel room. I get out of bed and hit the bathroom, brushing my hair and teeth and washing my face. My eyes are red and puffy from too much crying and not enough water before going to bed. I’m going to end up paying for it tonight.
I open my door quietly and step out of the room. The suite is smaller than what we usually stay in. Alex is up and reading in the chair by the window. She smiles at me before continuing to read.
“Where’s Cole?”
“His room is across the hall.”
“How’d we get here?” I ask as I pour myself a glass of orange juice.
“The bus broke down last night. You were passed out cold. Cole carried you up here.”
“Where’s Ian?”
“He’s meeting us at the venue later. He decided to fly.”
I nod. “Must be nice of me to pay that bill for him.”
I sit down on the non-descript brown couch that is uncomfortable against my bare legs. I pull out my phone and look at my calendar alert, Ryan’s Birthday. I should’ve deleted it when I removed him from my life, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
“I’m going to go take a shower,” I announce. I don’t wait for Alex to acknowledge me before I’m up and moving back to my room. I shut the door and lock it. Pulling out my phone I look up the contact information for my cell account. I turn on some music so no one can hear me talking. When customer service comes on I ask them to activate Ryan’s number and as easy as that is, I feel apprehensive about what I’m doing.
I jump in the shower quickly so I don’t cause suspicion. I change into shorts and a t-shirt and let my hair air-dry. I have no idea where we are or how much longer we’ll be here, but I don’t care. The press saw me at my worst last night; I’m done caring. When I come out of my room, Cole is standing at the bar, making his breakfast. It doesn’t escape my notice that he’s shirtless, his sweatpants hanging way too low to be legal.
Alex is napping in the chair with her book resting on her chest. I can’t imagine she got much sleep last night. I’m such a great friend, not. I take this opportunity to pull up Ryan’s name and hit send. It rings and rings, but no voicemail. Maybe he never set it up or more likely I never showed him how to so why would he bother with such a thing? I text Happy Birthday, Ryan. I want to add more, but I don’t think we can adjust back into any type of relationship. I watch as my text says delivered and know he’ll get it when he has a chance to look at his phone. I hope that wherever he ran away to, he brought his charger. He had to know once this day came, I’d reach out to him, even if I didn’t know it myself.
“Who are you are calling?”
I look up at Cole and send my phone into sleep mode. “No one. I was just texting my mom.”
He looks at my questioningly, but doesn’t say anything as he walks to the table to sit down. I walk over to the balcony and look out the window and watch cars pass. We must be near the highway.
“Why are you eating in here?”
“Your room is bigger and has what they consider room service.”
“Where are we?”
“About two-hours from Jackson.”
“Lovely.”
I bring my phone to life and look at my text. He still hasn’t read it, but I can be patient. It was stupid of me to call anyway, maybe he’s found a job in his new town and he’s working. Of course that’s why he didn’t answer, because he wants to hear from me, especially today, even though I broke his heart and left without telling him why.
Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Hadley. Of course he’s waiting for you to call and ruin his life some more.
CHAPTER 37
Ryan
When I open the door to my mom’s office she stands and shouts, “happy birthday!” I’ve never seen her like this and for a moment I wonder if she’s been drinking. I can’t hide the grin on my face as she rushes over and envelopes me in a hug. I hold her tight, not wanting to let her go and trying to savor this moment and embed it where I’ll remember it most.
She steps back. There are tears in her eyes. Something changed for her and I don’t know what it is. “I can’t believe this day is finally here.” She pulls my hand into hers and takes me into the conference room. When I walk in, her co-workers yell out “Surprise!” scaring the crap out of me.
“Wow,” I say as I look around the room. There are streamers hanging from the ceiling and everyone is wearing party hats. There’s a cake on the table, too. Everyone starts singing. I feel my cheeks heat up. I must be as red as a tomato right now. My mom puts her arm around me, leads me to the chair and motions for me to sit down. She lights the eighteen candles and I blow each one out, making a wish like Dylan used to when we were little. I can’t remember the last time I did this. I look up at her and silently thank her for making my day special.