Lost in You (Lost in You 1)

He has me squirming against him, looking for any type of friction I can get. I was desperate the last time and even more so now. He switches breasts as his hands work my skirt. I undo his fly and try to push his pants down. He slides down my body, painstakingly slow, the pressure increasing.

I lift my hips for him when he grips my skirt and pulls, taking my tights in one fell swoop. I sit up, bare except for my panties and watch him as he looks at me. He kicks off his shoes and drops his pants the rest of the way. I move up higher on my bed as he crawls over me. He’s on the prowl and I’m his victim.

He kisses me at my core, over my panties. He moves them aside, feeling me. When his tongue touches me I clamp down on his hair, which he doesn’t seem to mind. As many times as I thought of him, never did I imagine this.

He does everything perfectly and plays my body like a fiddle. I come undone from his fingers and tongue. My panties go flying across the room as he kisses his way up my body. I want him desperately. I need him.

He settles between my legs, pressing himself into my center, causing more of an ache. I can feel him, bare and against where I need him most. I wrap my legs around him, holding him there so he can’t change his mind.

He enters, pushing slowly. I gasp and bite gently down on his shoulder. He hisses as he starts to move inside me. Our bodies sliding against each other, his forehead rested on mine.

“Oh God, fuck, fuck, fuck,” he mutters, and before I know it he’s off of me, leaning over the bed.

“What’s wrong?”

“Condom. I don’t have one. I don’t even carry one in my wallet so I’m not sure why I’m looking for one.” He covers his face with his forearm, taking deep breaths.

I want to cry from the emptiness I feel when his body leaves mine but instead I say, “Ryan, I’m on the pill.”

He pulls his arm down slightly and looks at me. The nightlight in the corner is letting off just enough light that I can see that he is contemplating if he should or not. Thankfully, he doesn’t think long, and hovers over me once again. He pushes himself inside me. I close my eyes, my legs wrapping around his waist as he goes deeper. Moving his mouth over mine, he kisses me hard, his hand gripping my hips as he stills inside me. Kissing down my chin and then up my jaw, my body clenches his before he slowly bites down on my shoulder.

Crying out, he chuckles against my throat as he moves his strong hands up to cup my breast. His mouth clamps over my nipple, biting softly before swirling his tongue devilishly against it. I can’t stand it and I scream out, my nails cutting into his bare shoulder. Letting out a breath, his eyes wild with passion, he moves his mouth up the valley of my breasts, his hand moving down my body before gripping my thigh. Pushing my leg up, so that I’m open for him, he moves into me again, pushing to the hilt and taking my breath away. He pulls out and as he is about to slowly move into me again, I glance up at him, my eyes clouded with lust as I whisper, “Ryan.”

He nods knowing that this is it. This is the moment when everything will change for us. I don’t ever want him to leave. I want him to be mine for the rest of my life. I love him. Dropping my hands, I slowly grip his toned ass. His eyes close before I pull him into me. My body welcomes him and wants him, and when he squeezes my hips from the sheer pleasure of our bodies being connected, I want to scream, but I don’t. He opens his eyes, looking down at me, and then so softly he whispers, “I’ve missed you.”

I nod, my hands holding onto his wrist as I say, “I’ve missed you.”

Dropping a kiss to my lips, he starts to move into me with earnest strides. Each thrust taking my breath away. Soon my body is quivering and I come undone, squeezing him so hard that he groans against my cheek. Pushing my legs forward with shaky hands, he starts to thrust wildly into me until he finds his own release, his fingers biting into my sides. I know he’s leaving marks but I don’t care. When he falls onto me, I can’t breathe, but I’m smiling. His breath is labored against my neck as my hand moves up and tangles into his hair, holding him close to me. He kisses up my neck, then to my jaw before sitting up on his arms to kiss my lips. Looking down at me, he cups my face, his eyes searching mine as a small smile goes over his face. I smile back as he asks, “Can I take you to dinner tonight?”

“Really?” I ask, breathless.

He nods, “Yeah.”

“Are you ready to be seen in public with me? Are you ready for the cameras, the life I lead, all of it? Because if you aren’t I understand, but I want you in my life. I don’t want to lose you ever again.”

“I can handle it.”

I hope he’s right, because not having Ryan in my life isn’t an option. It wasn’t four years ago and it definitely isn’t now.

CHAPTER 45

Ryan

“You’re stupid.”

“No, I’m not.”

“YES. YOU. ARE!”

Dylan yells at the top of her lungs as she throws a glass at my head. I didn’t expect this. Okay, maybe I did, but I thought things would be a bit milder.

Things have been going amazingly well with Hadley. I’ve seen her every night since that night at O’Malley’s and was her date for Alex and Cole’s wedding. That was the second time we were photographed together, except this time, there was no mistaking that she was with someone.

After the first night, I tried to take things slow. I didn’t want to rush into having sex with her, unlike the first night, but I’m telling myself that it really didn’t count. It’s a guy thing. Just go with it. My resolve only lasted three days before I couldn’t handle it anymore. We had plans, but when she answered the door in a tight black dress, I lost all ability to think clearly. Ironically, this was the night of my birthday.

I know things are moving fast. Faster than they should be, but I don’t want to be away from her.

“What are you going to do about your job?”