“Come on,” I say standing up. “Carole and Jensen are waiting for us.” I pick the folder up off the table and tuck it under my arm. Pausing next to his chair, I’m banking on Evan being more like me in the sense that when I’m on edge, when I need to be talked off the cliff, EJ has been the one to do it. I realize now that could’ve all been because he was my link to Evan, but regardless, I need to try.
I put my hand on his shoulder and squeeze. “Let’s go see your son,” I say, the word son rolling off my tongue easily. Evan stands and slams his chair into the table, causing the other patrons to jump.
The drive over to the Clarke’s is a short jaunt from where we are and as soon as we pull in, the garage door opens with Jensen and EJ standing there waving at us.
“I’m not going to stand in the way of you and your son,” I say, as I turn off the ignition and exit the car. EJ runs up to me, just like I knew he would. I scoop him up and hold him in my arms.
“Hey buddy.” I pull him into a hug and walk us off to the side of the house, giving us privacy and letting Jensen and Evan chat. I squat, setting EJ down on his feet. When I look into his eyes, I see Evan. Everything about this little boy is Evan, aside from his hair, which is a mixture of Evan’s dark brown and Ryley’s red.
“Remember at the park when you asked about Evan being your dad?”
He nods. “’Cause my name is Eban junior and he’s Eban. He kinda looks like me but really look like you.” EJ smiles and that alone makes everything right in my world.
I sit down, resting my back against the house. In my head everything works out and what I’m about to say makes sense. But in reality, it probably doesn’t and I know I have to tread carefully here. EJ sits in front of me crisscross style and starts picking at the grass.
“So, I wanted to tell
you today that I’m going to move to a new house, and it’s my hope that Evan moves in with you and your mom.”
“Why? Don’t you lub me?”
“I do, and I love your mom, but Evan is your dad and he wants to be your dad. He wants to take you fishing and teach you how to throw a ball. When we were kids, your dad was one of the best football players in our state and he played basketball and baseball. He just wants a chance to teach you what he knows and to show you that you are the most important person in his life.” I look for any sign of resistance or hesitation from EJ and see none, so I continue, “I know it’s hard to understand right now, but maybe when you’re a little bit older, you’ll sit down and talk about everything that happened when you were little.”
“Are you still gonna be my dad?”
I don’t want to say no, but it’s the truth. “I think I can be someone a bit cooler than a dad.”
“What?” he asks, full of excitement.
“An uncle... and let me tell you why it’s cooler. Being an uncle is the best thing ever because it means I get to do whatever I want and your mom and dad can’t say anything about it. And when you’re upset, you just pick up the phone and call me and I can help you.”
He looks at me with furrowed brows and shrugs. “Are you and mom still getting married?”
I shake my head and point to the garage behind me. “I think your dad wants to marry your mom. He’s been waiting a really long time to do that.”
“Oh,” he says and continues to pick at the grass.
“Maybe you want to go see your dad for a little bit.”
EJ stands and wipes off his legs. “Do I have to call him ‘Dad’?”
Hearing him ask this breaks my heart, but I shake my head. “Not right now, but I’m sure someday you’ll want to.”
Evan and I drive in silence. There’s tension in the car but it’s not between us. For the first time, I was able to witness my brother bond with his son, something that should’ve happened on the day he was born. After EJ and I had our little chat, the three of us went down to the beach and tossed the football around. I excused myself shortly thereafter and went back to the house and watched the two Evan’s have a chance at being father and son.
When we pull up outside the house, Special Agent Blaine is sitting in his car. He nods but stays there, giving Evan a chance to get some answers. Evan stops at the bottom of the steps leading to the house and looks around.
“This is some seriously fucked up shit.”
“I know,” I say as I pat him on the back, encouraging him to continue. When he gets to the door he knocks and when the door swings open, I place my hand on his shoulder to hold him in place. River is not the enemy.
Evan and I walk in, both taking a seat on the couch, the folder resting in my lap. Evan takes a deep breath and turns his gaze to River who is seated in the chair next to him.
“Where’s Frannie?”
River shrugs, knowing that his first instinct is to protect his wife. “She left last night. Said that with us being apart for so long, she grew accustomed to a lifestyle and now that I’m back, she can’t deal with it.”
I hand Evan the folder and he places it on the coffee table with a thud. I pull out my cell phone and text Cara, letting her know that Frannie isn’t here, hoping she’ll get the message to Blaine. There isn’t a single piece of me of that feels sorry for River right now.