Santa's Secret

She shrugs, as if it’s no big deal. “Everyone knows.”

I roll my eyes and shake my head. “Town gossip. I’m surprised you don’t have a blog yet to keep everyone updated. You know you could probably do text alerts or something, save everyone time from playing telephone.”

Mom laughs, but it’s the truth. Astrid Du Luca is worse than the National Enquirer. “How was it seeing Aiden?”

“Fine. Why?”

“He’s had a rough go of it lately.”

“His wife has cancer, right?” I a

sk.

Mom shakes her head. “Had cancer, she died. Let’s see, I think it’s been a year and half now, maybe even two years. All I know is he’s been struggling financially since Heather died. His insurance only covered so much of her medical expenses.”

“That’s so sad. They have a son, right?”

“Daughter. Holly, she’s seven. He’s such a good dad.”

Aiden Fisher and I dated in high school. It was a few months, but my brother teased us so relentlessly that we decided to end it. They were friends and apparently, Dominic thought we were crossing some imaginary line. It was after I left for Hollywood, that he started dating Heather.

Mom’s words weigh heavily on me. I can’t imagine loving someone so much you devote your life to them, only to have them die, and at such a young age too. Maybe it’s a good thing Trey did this to me before I was fully invested and ended up with a broken heart.

“What are you thinking about?”

I shake my head. “Nothing, really.”

“I remember when you dated Aiden. Your dad and I thought for sure you would’ve married him.”

My eyes meet hers, and she shrugs. “Why do you say that?”

“It was the way he looked at you, even before you both decided to start dating.”

I try to think back to high school. I knew I wanted to move to Hollywood and act. It was my passion from the time I started in local theater. Everyone knew once I graduated, I was gone. My parents hated the idea. I promised them that if after one year I hadn’t landed a major role, I’d come home. It took me six months, and I haven’t looked back since. Picturing Fish when we dated is hard. It’s been so long since I’ve thought about him. It’s not like he’s the one that got away or anything. We were friends because of my brother. We dated and ended it amicably, and stayed friends, although we didn’t stay in touch with each other. The only one I really spoke to after leaving, aside from my family, is Mindy.

“I guess I don’t remember.”

“It was a long time ago.”

It was, but it wasn’t. Ten years isn’t really that long ago. I should be able to recall how Aiden looked at me, but I guess I was lost in my own little world. “I think I’m going to go get settled.”

I leave my mom in the kitchen and head back to the foyer to pick up my bags. It’s been years since I’ve been in the cold weather and will need to go shopping. I’m hoping some of my old sweaters are still in my closet. Family photos cover the hallway walls. Climbing the steps, I stop at our most recent family photo, taken on the red carpet. My dad and Dominic are in tuxedos, while my mom and I are dressed in full-length gowns.

Stepping into my room is like walking through a time warp. Nothing has changed. Including my twin sized bed or my dollhouse style bookshelves. The same bluish / greenish dresser with a mirror is there, in the same spot, I left it. It’s funny I never upgraded my bed when I was in high school. I honestly think it was my father’s way of keeping the boys out of my room.

I stand in my front of my bookcases, looking at everything I’ve collected over the years. They used to be my favorite things in my room and as I look around now, I think they still are. My room isn’t large by any means, so my father tried to utilize the space best he could by giving me a place to, at first, store toys, which turned into trophies, photos and yearbooks.

Four books stand out the most to me. Maybe it’s because Mom and I were just talking about high school or maybe I’m feeling a bit nostalgic because I’m home. I pull out the one for my senior year and open it. The page is full of short stories, random phone numbers and well wishes from my classmates. They all promised to go watch my first movie, making me wonder if they did.

My eyes land on Aiden’s name. His handwriting was always so nice compared to other guys in our class.

Laney,

Our time was short, but sweet. I will miss your laugh, the way you tilt your head when you’re thinking too hard, and the way you smile when you see me. Love, Fish

My fingers run over the page, feeling the indent from his words. I’ve never wondered what it would’ve been like if I stayed in Ramona Falls or if I had gone away to college, and come home during breaks and summer vacations. What if Dom hadn’t been so crass about the relationship between Fish and I, would we have dated longer? Many of my classmates married their high school sweethearts. Some stayed here and started raising families, while others moved. What would my life be like if I hadn’t followed my dream of becoming an actress?

Closing the book, I set it down on my bed and head to the cabinet, which is part of my dresser. I pull the door open and drop to my knees. My mom must’ve taken the liberty of preserving my favorite sweaters because they’re all in there, sealed tightly in those plastic vacuum bags you see late night infomercials for.