Santa's Secret

“Some day, we’re going to look back on this moment and realize—”

“Realize what?” she asks, stepping forward. Her hand rest on my forearm and the feel of her skin on mine causes a tingling sensation I haven’t felt in years. Not since I first met Heather, and definitely not since Delaney and I dated. As coyly as possible, I drop my arm, not wanting to send the wrong message to Delaney. I like her, but we’re too different.

“You’re going to realize you let your guard down and your number one fan is going to see what you look like in the morning.” I raise my eyebrows and try to smile while holding back a laugh. Her eyes go wide and she covers her face before letting out a groan. “Bathroom is first door on the right.”

Delaney goes running; however it strikes me as odd she hadn’t asked where it was before. I could say we were caught up in the moment, but I don’t think that’s the case. I cover the embers as much as I can before heading into the kitchen to make coffee. Looking through the window as I fill the pot, the snow glistens off the rising sun. This is when I love the covered ground. It’s pristine and looks like a million crystals have fallen from the sky. Of course, out front will look gray and dirty by the end of the morning once cars are on the road, and yards becomes a trampled ice rink after everyone heads out to play and to build snowmen, igloos and battle walls for their snowball fights.

“I can’t believe… hey, what’re you doing?” I jump at the sound of Delany’s voice and shut the water off, having to pour out the overflow.

“I spaced out.” Setting the coffee pot down, I reach for a towel, only to have Delaney take over the coffee making. “I can do that,” I tell her, but it’s too late. She’s already scooping coffee grounds into a fresh liner.

“You need a Keurig.”

I nod. “I need a lot of things, but a fancy one cup coffee maker isn’t one of them.”

“Well maybe Santa will bring you one,” she says, resting her hip against the counter. Looking at her, seeing her without her normal make-up, she looks nothing like the woman you see on the screen. Delaney’s eyes somehow shimmer under the dull lighting in my kitchen. The pull I feel is magnetic, and I find myself stepping closer to her. My brain is screaming, telling me to stop, to step back and face reality. The reality being she doesn’t live here. She’ll be leaving eventually. We’re not in the same league. My heart and my body control every action, every feeling right down to my pounding heart, sweaty palms and parched mouth.

My hand reaches out and cups her cheek. Her eyes close and her head tilts upward. I lick my lips in anticipation, leaving my mouth open for what surely will be a life-changing kiss. My eyes drift shut and the small gasp I hear from her pushes me forward. The air we breathe is the same, it’s shared, and for the first time since my wife passed, I want to kiss another woman. I want to love her, cherish her and find every possible excuse to be with her, and yet I haven’t even kissed her yet.

“Daddy?”

I jerk away from Delaney and she turns toward the coffee pot. I shake away the fairytale daydream I was having and go back to the living room where Holly is. Her hair, although blonde, matches the same state Delaney’s was in not moments ago.

Clearing my throat and my thoughts, I push Holly’s hair out of her face and look into her blue eyes. “Good morning. It’s still early, do you want to go back to bed?”

She shakes her head. “Where’s Laney?” she asks, tiredly. I want to correct her and tell her I’m the only one allowed to refer to Delaney that way, but I don’t. It’s not my place.

“I’m here, but I’m about to leave. I need to head home.”

“But what about church?” Holly asks her.

Delaney and I make eye contact, but I can only hold it for a second. Delaney goes to Holly and pulls her into a hug. “I’ll have to see what Calvin wants to do. I sort of left him with my brother yesterday.”

“Daddy says Dominic is a royal pain—”

I cut Holly off before she can repeat what I’ve said about Dom, although it’s nothing Delaney doesn’t already know. “Okay, say goodbye to Delaney and tell her you’ll see her…”

“At school,” Delaney says.

“Okay,” Holly whines. Believe me, kid. I get it.

“Holly, go change your clothes. I’m going to go clean off Delaney’s car for her.”

“Oh, I can do it.” Delaney’s hand touches my forearm and the sensation I felt earlier is back, but more powerful. The urge to pull her into my arms and to kiss her senseless is pressing.

“Don’t be silly,” I tell her. “I’ll take care of it for you.”

“That means you can help me get dressed!” Holly w

astes no time reaching for Delaney’s hand and tugs her down the hall. I half expect Delaney to look at me from over her shoulder and plead for help, but she doesn’t, and I like that even though I shouldn’t. But she does yell, “Keys are in my coat,” as she continues down the hall. What happened or was about to happen in the kitchen should’ve never even come close. Kissing complicates friendships, and right now that’s the only thing we can be.

By the time Delaney emerges from the house, her car is warming up, it’s clear of snow and I’m about done blowing the snow from the driveway. She takes one look and starts laughing uncontrollably. “What’s wrong?” I ask, shutting off the machine.

“You’re covered in snow. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you’re a yeti.”

I glance down at myself and nod. “I suppose I could’ve left the two feet of snow here and watched you back out.” I raise my eyebrows, challenging her.

“You wouldn’t do that.” Delaney steps closer, placing her hands on the side of my snow covered jacket. Her head tilts back, leaving the pathway to her lips wide open. Kissing her will lead to heartache, and apparently, something my body doesn’t care about because I’m moving closer.