Santa's Secret

“You have. I’ve made three trips to the car already,” Calvin says.

“What’s your point?”

“Our…” Mindy scoffs and points back and forth between Calvin and her. “Point is, Aiden lives a really simple life since Heather died. Holly’s going to think everyone is like you, and the sad reality is, they’re not.”

I understand what Mindy’s saying, but I don’t want to believe I’m doing anything wrong. The conclusion I come to, is Aiden needs the same treatment. He probably hasn’t bought himself anything new since his wife passed away. He’s so focused on Holly, he’s likely forgetting about himself.

However, I do what my friends suggest and tone it down, even as I continue to shop. Everything I pick up, Mindy and Calvin shake their heads. I finally give up and start buying for my parents and Dominic. Everything Calvin likes, I sneak one in for him and Aiden too.

On the drive home, I sit in the back and stare out the window, tuning the chatter between Calvin and Mindy out. I like the idea of making Holly and Aiden’s Christmas better. I have the means to do it, but I don’t want him to think I’m trying to come between him and Shelby.

Calvin drops Mindy off at her house, helping her with her packages. I hug her goodbye, telling her I have the festival play this weekend, and she promises to be there. Mindy also reminds me about the policeman’s party on Friday night, telling me I should go. I don’t know if my presence would be such a good idea, but I don’t tell her that.

Twenty-Six

Aiden

If you ever want to know where you stand with Delaney De Luca, don’t return or acknowledge her heartfelt text message. This is the mistake I’ve made, and I’m paying dearly for it. Holly isn’t though, since she sees Delaney every day and talks about her non-stop once she’s home from school. It’s pretty bad I have to get information about Delaney from my seven year old. The problem is, I don’t know what to say to Delaney and every time I’ve tried to approach her, she’s smiled politely and turned the other way.

To top everything else off, Shelby posted a photo of us, indicating we are a couple, when that couldn’t be further from the truth. I like her, but that’s it. My heart doesn’t race when she’s around, nor do my palms sweat or my skin feel like it’s about to jump off my body when she touches me. Those are all things I feel when I’m with Delaney. The worst part is I don’t know what to do about it.

There isn’t much I can do, honestly. Delaney is leaving at the end of the month, and will go back to her life in California where she’s living her dream. I’ll be here, raising my daughter and struggling to make ends meet. I’m not jealous. I’m resentful. My life wasn’t supposed to be like this. I had everything. A beautiful wife and child, a good job, a happy home, and then someone or some force thought Heather and I could handle the unthinkable. We tried. We fought. We loved until the end.

Now the thought of being in love again looms in front of me and I can’t take it. I can’t ask Delaney to move here and uprooting Holly is out of the question. My job is here. My parents and sister are here. In Los Angeles, we’d only have Delaney, when she’s there. That isn’t a lifestyle I want for my daughter.

“Daddy, do you think you can call Laney and ask her to do my hair?” Holly stands before me. Tonight is the annual policeman’s holiday dinner and party. It’s always been a family oriented event with Santa and Mrs. Claus making an appearance to hand out toys to all the children.

“Aunt Meredith said she’d be over to help.”

Hol

ly shakes her head and juts out her lower lip. “I want Laney to do it.” She stomps her foot and crosses her arms over her chest.

“I’m sorry, but Delaney is busy.” I hate that I’ve called her anything but her nickname, but I think I’m wise to separate myself from her. Besides, she’s made it clear we’re nothing more than friends.

“But she promised.”

I never want to call my daughter a liar, but I do question whether Delaney said this to her. “Maybe you misunderstood.”

“I. Did. Not!”

“Holly, I know you’re upset, but I’m sorry, Delaney isn’t coming over to do your hair. Aunt Meredith will though.”

Holly screeches, like a wild banshee. She’s trying to push me over the edge into yelling at her. This is exactly what I knew would happen. Holly would become attached to Delaney, and not understand why Delaney can’t be around anytime Holly wants. I’m an adult and even I have a hard time comprehending why I can’t have my way when I want it.

“I don’t want to go.”

I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose. “You don’t want to see Santa and tell him what you want for Christmas?”

“No. I want Delaney.”

“You can’t have her.”

“You’re a meanie.”

I nod. “And you’re acting like a baby, so why don’t you go to your room and think about things. When you’re ready to talk to me with some respect we can have a conversation.” I point toward the hall, which only causes Holly to hold her breath so her face can turn red. Temper tantrums are the highlight of my parenting life.

“I don’t like you right now, Daddy. You’re a giant meanie and you’re hurting my feelings.”