Santa's Secret

Shelby steps forward and kisses me on the cheek. “Have a merry Christmas, Aiden. I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

I think I have found what I’m looking for. She’s currently holding my daughter’s hand and whispering something in her ear. I want to be in on their secret, holding both of their hands, sharing their laughter and smiles. Telling Delaney how I feel is the right thing to do. Figuring out how we’re going to make it work though, well, that’s a whole other challenge. Thankfully, we still have until after New Year’s Day before we’re faced with her leaving.

Along with my parents, we meet Holly as she comes off the stage. She jumps into my arms, and I twirl her around, much to her delight. I set her down with her black patent leather boots resting on the packed snow. “You were amazing.”

“You couldn’t hear me, Daddy.” She laughs and sways from side to side, holding the hem of her dress so people around her can see the ruffles.

“I could hear you, punky. You were the best one up there. Are you ready to go to Grandma and Grandpa’s?”

“Yes, for a sleepover!” Holly jumps up and down until my father wraps her in his arms as he tries to wrestle her coat on. Each year the fire department provides the production with heaters so the actors and singers can wear their holiday best without anyone freezing.

I crouch down and give Holly a kiss on her cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow at church.”

Holly cups my face between her hands and runs her nose against mine. “Okay, Daddy. I love you.”

Not as half as much as I love you, but those words fail me as my throat swells. This child of mine has no idea what she means to me. “I love you more, punky.”

“Come on, Holly; I believe Grandma made brownies for dinner,” my dad says, earning a loud cheer from Holly. Mom smacks my dad on the arm, scolding him.

“They’re for dessert and you know it.” My parents walk off, with my father carrying Holly. Delaney is still on stage, assisting with the tear down. I want to be suave and rush up the stairs so I can pick her up, but I’m far too reserved to do something like that. Besides, we haven’t talked yet and we need to. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to give it a go between us.

My lingering finally catches Delaney’s eye. She waves and motions for me to meet her on the side where the stairs are. “I’m going to be another hour or so, depending on how fast the volunteers work. I don’t want to leave Mrs. Winters with all of it.”

“Do you want my help?”

Delaney shakes her head. “No, go on home and relax. I’ll meet you there as soon as I’m done.” She smiles and the glint in her eye has me curious about how things will be later. I lean in and kiss her forehead, desperately wanting to kiss her lips, but this isn’t the time or place.

I’m feeling euphoric on my drive home. I take each road slowly, watching for black ice and so I can admire the decorations. I need to get out and put some up for Holly since she’s been asking me. It’s something I’ll do tomorrow morning before I meet her and my parents at church. It’ll be a nice surprise for her.

The high I’m feeling quickly dissipates when I pull into my driveway. The lights I only just thought about hanging, are hung and twinkling in the night sky. My tree is lit, which I know I didn’t have on when I left.

Carefully, I enter my house, calling out to see if anyone is there. It’s times like this I wish I kept a gun hidden in my garage so I can arm and protect myself from the unknown.

I turn the corner, into the living room, and my mouth drops open. My tree, the one I left unlit and completely void of presents, is sparkling brightly and presents fill the floor, leaving barely any walking space. Cautiously, I bend down and pick one up, it’s to Holly, and so is the next one, the next and the one after that. In fact, most belong to her with a few for me mixed in. There’s only one explanation and I don’t want to believe Delaney would do something like this.

In the kitchen, I pull open the refrigerator to grab a beer, only my somewhat barren shelves are fully stocked. The results are the same when I open the cupboards. There’s food stocked in tightly, every variety you can think of. I don’t know if it’s anger I feel or my pride slipping away. There’s a sting from the proverbial slap across my face, shaming me for not providing for my daughter. “Son of a—”

The side door opens, cutting my words off. The woman, who not hours ago, I told I wanted try to have a relationship with, is standing there with a confused expression on her face. Maybe I’m wrong to assume she did this, but there isn’t anyone else who would. People know I struggle, but I always manage to feed my kid. Holly doesn’t go hungry.

“Something wrong?” Delaney asks.

I can feel the tick in my jaw become stronger as I try to control my temper. The last thing I want to do is lash out at her, but I’m on the cusp of yelling. “Do you have anything to do with any of this?”

Delaney looks in the living room, and then at me. She doesn’t even have to tell me because I can see the guilt written all over her face.

“Why would you do this? How did you do this?”

“Dominic has a key.”

“Great, that reminds me I need to get that back from him, but that doesn’t answer my first question. Why?”

“I don’t understand why you’re not happy.”

“Are you serious right now? In a matter of seconds you proved to me, before we even started dating, the reason why we can’t.”

“Fish…”

“No. You can’t sweet talk me into thinking this is okay when it’s not. Look at this, Delaney. There are enough presents for each kid in Holly’s class to have two from you. What kind of message are you trying to send?”