“I just wanted you guys to have a good Christmas.”
“And what happens next year or the year after that when you’re not around? Huh? Then what? Who is going to make sure each Christmas is the same? It’s not going to be me. You’ve already shown me that the stuff I bought her isn’t enough. So you what, decided to quadruple my efforts?”
“It wasn’t like that.”
“Then what was it like?”
“I don’t know. I saw the stuff and I bought it. It’s simple as that.”
I nod, hating the fact that I’m about to ruin Holly’s Christmas. “I think I made a mistake earlier, asking you to come over.”
“Aiden?”
I shake my head. “I can’t be in a relationship where I’m not an equal, where my daughter thinks she’ll get whatever she wants because of who you are. This… saying it’s too much doesn’t even cover it. You went overboard. You violated the trust I have in your brother and you made me feel like a charity case.”
“Aiden, you have to believe me, that wasn’t my intention at all. I only wanted you and Holly to be comfortable. I could do that for you.”
I look at Delaney, who has tears falling down her face. “That’s just it. You can do that for me, but I can’t even do this for my own daughter. I was foolish to think I could look past your career and have a normal relationship with you. There will never be anything normal when it comes to you.”
“Aiden, please don’t.”
“I’m sorry, Delaney. I really am.”
She nods and heads toward the door. She pauses with it open, likely waiting for me to ask her to stay, but I won’t. I can’t.
Twenty-Nine
Delaney
New York City disappears from sight as soon as we hit cloud coverage. Calvin is sleeping next to me, having passed out the moment he sat down in his first class seat. Being at the airport for a six am flight meant we left Ramona Falls at midnight for the four hour drive, upsetting my parents, but they understood when I told them I had to go back for an early morning schedule of reshoots. The lie fell easily, but there was no way I could tell my family how humiliated I felt after what I did for Aiden and Holly. I thought I was doing the right thing, but after listening to him and seeing the anguish I caused, I knew it was wrong. As much as I would’ve loved to stay and celebrate Christmas with my family, the thought of being there, where I almost had everything and let it slip through my fingers, doesn’t seem like the best place for me.
I close my eyes and rest my head against the cold airplane window. It does nothing to soothe the pounding in my head gained from the hours of crying. I feel horrible for Calvin, having to sit there and listen to me cry. I have no doubt the sniffling annoyed him after a while, yet he’d never say anything to affirm that. Sometimes, I hate that he works for me because I really need someone like him to put me in my place.
I jostle awake as the plane touches down at LAX. Looking over at Calvin, he’s reading the paper and looking haggard. “You can have the rest of the month off,” I tell him.
“Thanks.”
He says nothing else, leading me to believe he’s upset with me, as he should be. From what I gathered, he was having a great time in Ramona and I ruined it by meddling in affairs I shouldn’t. In fact, I should’ve steered clear of Aiden and his daughter, and admired from the outside, but I couldn’t. Selfishly, I had to be the center of their attention and in the process, I fell hard and ruined everything.
Calvin leads the way through the airport. My head is down and my long auburn hair stays hidden under a beanie. Still, I don’t go unnoticed. People say my name; they whisper it, wondering if it’s me they see or someone else. I do everything I can to keep my expression stoic even though I’m on the verge of a meltdown. It can’t happen here, not in public. Celebrities aren’t allowed to show emotion. It has to be saved for the privacy of your home; that is when I’ll break down, inside the walls of my empty home where no one can hear me. It’s there, in the quiet, where the tears will flow and my heart will burst open with pain, and I have no one to blame but myself.
Calvin gathers our luggage and looks for the driver he scheduled before we left Vermont. He does all the talking, proving to whoever is watching, that I’m nothing but a diva. As much as I want to argue the point, there’s no use. I let my status and checkbook think for me and now I’m paying the price.
Holly is as well. I hate I didn’t find her to say goodbye, to tell her how wonderful I think she is, and how I’ll always think about her. With any luck, Aiden will fix things between him and Shelby and give his daughter the mother she needs. I have no doubt Shelby will be an excellent partner and mother for them.
The drive to my house is much like the flight. I stare out the window, wishing I were anywhere but here. “I should’ve gone somewhere else.”
“You still have reshoots the day after Christmas, Delaney.”
Right, work. It’s never ending and while it used to bother me — filming back-to-back movies — I’ll take it now so my mind can focus on anything except Ramona Falls. The quicker I forget, the faster I’ll be able to move on.
Calvin carries my luggage into my quiet, cold and lifeless condo. Even with all the gizmos and gadgets keeping my lights on, you can feel the lack of love in here.
“I’ll see you next week,” he says, not letting me forget I’ve given him the week off. I nod and give him a hug.
“Merry Christmas, Calvin.”
“Merry Christmas, Delaney.”