Santa's Secret

Once the door clicks shut, I let the tears flow. I didn’t cry when Trey cheated on me, at least not like this. The pain I feel is like nothing ever before, and think it only took me seconds to fall in love with Aiden. I was stupid to think things between us would work or even be easy, but I never thought he’d r

eject me over a few gifts.

“Oh, who are you kidding, Delaney. A few means two or three, not a hundred.” The words I mutter aloud only add to the burning in my chest. I should’ve been more cautious. I should’ve put myself in Aiden’s shoes, and maybe checked with him first to see if he was okay with me buying things for Holly, but I never considered how he’d feel or what he’d think. I only thought about Holly and how happy she’d be on Christmas.

I drag my luggage upstairs and start to unpack. My newly bought winter wardrobe won’t serve me much here, but I’m not ready to give the clothes away. I find an empty tote to store most of the clothes in, but keep out the scarves and hats, knowing I can wear them here and create a fashion statement. All it takes is for one photo to cause a stir and increase sales. Right now, it’s the least I can do for the people back home.

My phone rings with Mindy’s name showing on the screen. I send her to voicemail, not ready to tell her what I’ve done. There’s no doubt word has spread that I’m gone. However, leaving without saying goodbye to the people I love is right up on the list of worst things I’ve done. It was late and I just wanted to get out of town and be on the first flight back home.

Home. This is my home. As much as I wanted to call Ramona Falls my home, I can’t. I’m Hollywood through and through, made evident by my actions.

It’s two days before Christmas and the park is bustling full of children. They laugh, play and sing carols. Each one of them reminds me of Holly. I miss her. I miss her infectious smile, her blue eyes and untamable spirit. I shouldn’t be here, not without a child of my own to bring, yet I can’t stay away. It’s like I need to see the happiness these children have in order to make my pain cease for a small moment in time.

I’ve kept my phone off, unwilling to talk to anyone from home, including my mother, and stopped myself from calling Calvin to beg him to come over and watch sappy movies with me. The man has a life away from me and I need to respect that, even though he’d drop whatever he was doing and come to my rescue because he’s paid to do so.

The other reason my phone is off is so I don’t want to look on social media sites for pictures of Aiden and Shelby. I would suspect she’s consoling him over my deceit. It’s something I would do if I were interested in a man. I’m sure she was there at sunrise with a coffee in her hand, offering him a listening ear, although his kitchen is fully stocked and should last him at least a month, if not longer.

I wish I could go back and do things differently. I don’t know if I’d let myself fall so easily for Aiden and Holly. I’d likely keep my guard up and stay at my parents’ more, be a homebody instead of putting myself in places where I knew I’d likely run into Aiden. I definitely wouldn’t have done the play. The only reason I did was because Aiden suggested I take a leap of faith. Deep down, I felt like I had something to prove to him, to show him I’m more than an actress making a living on the big screen. In the end, I proved nothing.

Honestly, he had no chance once I set my sights on him. What does that make me? I’m not sure a word has been invented for what I’ve done because overbearing nut job doesn’t really cut it. I used my brother, telling him that this would be a good thing for the Fishers and he bought it, betraying his best friend.

I’ve likely ruined lifelong friendships because of how selfish I am. I’m going to have to make it up to Dominic. Maybe I’ll pay for his and Eileen’s honeymoon or destination wedding because going back to Ramona Falls anytime soon doesn’t appeal to me.

A little girl cries out, having fallen and it looks like she’s scraped her knee. I rush over to her, only to stop when her mother or nanny arrives first. I look around, wondering if anyone is staring or gabbing about the odd woman who is trying to intervene.

“What is wrong with me?” I mutter to myself, hoping someone or something will give me an answer. I look around, but the other men and women in the park keep their attention on their children. I shouldn’t be here. This park isn’t the place for a single woman mending a broken heart.

Thirty

Aiden

The banging on my door continues. It’s coupled with Dominic yelling my name. Clearly, he knows I’m home and it should be evident I’m ignoring him. He’s not getting the picture. I want to be left alone, and the last person I want to talk to is him. He asked me not to hurt his sister; I did exactly that, not twenty-four hours later. It wasn’t my intention, but Delaney overstepped and I lost my temper. Actually, I kept the rage I was feeling in check, but my words were harsh and I made her cry. Something I never thought I’d do. She’s been so nice and accommodating, letting Holly hang all over her. Delaney didn’t have to be like that, and yet she gave so selflessly. Too much if you’re looking at the floor under our Christmas tree full of presents.

I lift my beer bottle to my lips and tilt my head back, waiting for a trickle or drop to tease the back of my throat. Over the last ten or so hours I’ve done nothing but sit on the couch and stare at the tree. The six-pack of bottles, courtesy of Delaney, sits empty at my feet. Well, five do since the last one is still in my hand.

Our tree is beautiful. Not because it’s something my daughter decorated. It’s because there’s a story behind it. Delaney did that. She gave Holly a story to tell friends, something to remember each time we go to Mr. Steve’s for a tree in years to come. The fact that Delaney came over and helped decorate it, well, that just adds to the beauty, and I destroyed it all.

I’m sure there was another way for Delaney and me to discuss what happened. I could’ve easily asked her to take the presents back, to donate them to the shelter or a child’s home for kids who need a little Christmas magic in their lives. Holly has some presents, and while I may not be able to buy her the best of everything, my parents are there to make sure she has plenty. What Delaney did was take gift giving and put it on steroids.

The banging finally stops. The quiet is peaceful. I close my eyes, but see images of Delaney crying and I can’t stand to look at the pain I caused her.

My eyes fly open when my door slams shut. “What the—”

“Mind telling me what’s going on?”

I hold up my empty bottle of beer and shake it. Dominic shakes his head. I can see the disappointment in his eyes. Its different from the look he gave me after Heather died. Then, he sat with me so I wouldn’t hurt myself or do something stupid.

Somehow, I have a feeling he’s not here to be my support. “There’s more in the fridge if you want one.”

“It’s eight in the morning, Fisher. Beer is the last thing either of us need.”

“Yeah well, I stopped keeping track of time about ten or is it twelve, hours now?”

Dominic stands in front of me with his shoulders square. “The one thing I asked you to do is not hurt her, and what do you do?”

“Hurt her,” I tell him.

“Do you know what it’s like to get a phone call from my mother crying hysterically because her Christmas is ruined?”