There’s some mumbling as people walk by and Cara makes sure to have her badge around her neck, so everyone can see it. I hate that I’m making them uncomfortable. I look over to Ryley, who is watching me, to see an expression
of pity. I don’t need it, but I know it’s inevitable. She turns away and whispers something in EJ’s ear. The next thing I know he’s coming over and sitting down next to me and showing me his iPad. Maybe Ryley feels that if people see me with EJ, they’ll soften. Thing is, Ryley doesn’t know how comfortable she’s just made me by having him sit next to me.
Aside from a few comments behind us, the flight goes off without a hitch. Once again, I’m escorted off first and the people in first class whisper as I walk by with my jacket covering my once again cuffed hands out in front of me. I know they’re pissed they’re still sitting down, and if my situation were different I wouldn’t care, but these people have no idea what I’m going through and it pisses me off that they feel they can pass judgement on me. If it weren’t for guys like me, these people wouldn’t be so careless with their freedom.
Jensen is waiting at the baggage carousel when we finally make it down there. EJ races out of Ryley’s grip and into his grandfather’s arms. Watching them … hell, watching any child hugging a parent or otherwise, chokes me up.
I feel my resolve slipping, my determination wavering. I know I have to fight, but fighting thin air is tiresome. I want a reward, a nugget of information which tells me that Penny and Claire are alive. That’s all I need to get me to the next stage.
Jensen gives me a hug. It’s nice even though I don’t know him well. We’ve met maybe a handful of times. Carole, I know better but the hug is welcoming nonetheless.
“Shall we get home?” he asks, focusing on Ryley and EJ. I can’t imagine how he feels about everything. I know he and Evan were, and maybe still are, close. He was there for Evan and Nate when their dad died, and once Ryley followed Evan to Coronado, Jensen and Carole did, too. But now that they’re back living in Washington, I can’t imagine how lonely he must feel. Even though he hasn’t lost his family, I’m sure it feels like it when you can’t drive over and see them on a Sunday afternoon.
Jensen piles our luggage onto a cart with the assistance of EJ, while I stand here looking like fucking scum for not helping. It’d be nice to have some semblance of an identity by the time I leave. It’d be nice to belong again.
As Cara said, there’s a black town car waiting for us. It’s not Federal or military issued so she must’ve rented it for us. It’s something I’ll have to pay her back for, when I can.
We both climb in the backseat and take off, driving faster than normal, but living up to the pretenses that everyone has about the Feds. It’s funny and I find myself laughing at the absurdity of this whole situation.
I’m a decorated member of the United States Navy and because they won’t acknowledge that they made a mistake, Rask and myself have to live like illegal aliens. Worse really for me since Rask lives on base—at least they’re acknowledging his existence, even if he can’t do anything. I’m just a blimp on their radar and they’re just waiting to take me out.
“Do you think they’ll kill me before I uncover the truth?”
“What’s the truth?” Cara asks as she uncuffs me.
“I don’t know.” Shrugging, I direct my gaze out the window. The familiar scenery lulls me into a false sense of security. This place has the answers, but I don’t want to be here, not without my family.
“The truth is out there, we just have to find it. Someone has the answers we’re looking for.”
“Probably Lawson,” Cara says.
“He’s going to die.”
Cara sighs and crosses her legs. “You can’t talk like that if you want me to take you to see him.”
Closing my eyes, I lean my head against the window. The sun feels good as its warmth radiates through.
“The other day you told me about Penny filing a police report. I want to go interview the officer who took it.”
When I look over at Cara, she’s on her phone—always working.
“He’s dead,” I reply coldly, and meet her gaze so she knows I’m not giving her the run around.
“How?”
“Massive heart attack.”
“Well shit,” Cara mumbles.
“Yup, my thoughts exactly. I thought maybe he gave Penny some direction on what to do, or gave her a number to call.”
When we pull into the Clarke’s, Cara and I immediately get into Nate’s car. Carole arranged for it to be picked up from base so Cara could drive it since technically she’s off duty.
Our first stop is my old house. Cara wants to look around; I really want to stay in the car, except I can’t.
“Here, you need this.” She hands me a badge, which has the name Duke Riggs on it. “It’ll be easier to get information.”
“Makes sense.” We both get out of the car and I find that I have to give myself a little pep as I walk up the steps. It may not be my name, but for right now it gives me an identity. Now I can’t screw up and give her the wrong name.