Why he can have a gun and I can’t isn’t fair. What if I need to shoot a wild animal or Frannie?
“Evan, Cara is asking for you,” Rask says without making eye contact with him.
Evan’s hand squeezes my shoulder to get my attention. “We cool?”
I nod, but I’m not. Not really. I want to understand, but I’m not there yet. Penny loved me once, surely that love is strong enough that as soon as she sees me, she’d know it was me and not think I’m an imposter.
“Let me go talk to her, show her I’m alive. We need to ease her into this. She didn’t have anyone to help her grieve your death. She did it while she was on the run, protecting Claire.”
“Fine,” I say, holding my hands up.
Evan nods and moves toward the door Nate has just opened. Even if I want to make a run for it, he’ll be there to stop me.
“Tell her …” My voice breaks as I try to compose myself. “Tell her I love her, that I’ve never stopped.”
Evan smiles. “You’ll be telling her yourself shortly.”
Fucking right I will be.
WHEN SOMEONE SAYS THEY’VE had their lives flash before their eyes they mean it in the literal sense. It’s the unprepared slam of brakes because you catch a glimpse of a child running and a ball rolling down a driveway in front of you. Your tires screech, and as you slam on the brakes your body jerks forward. Your heart races so fast that the sound is drowning out the radio and all you think is, What if this was my child?
Or it’s when you go to pick your child up from school and they’re not on the playground like they’re supposed to be. So you search and search until tears are running down your face, only to remember you let her go home with a friend for the first time. The images you’ve had to store and recreate in your mind because you have nothing left but your memories, don’t do you justice because you can’t remember the way your baby smelled or how it felt to hold her. Right now you can’t recall what it was like to lie in bed with your husband while you both stared at your sleeping daughter between you. The smile and laughter you thought you had memorized has faded.
And even as you remember, it’s still not enough to quell the thoughts running through your head so you drive by, except this isn’t a suburban area and you can’t see up their almost mile long driveway. You pick your fingers raw on the drive back to your house so you can call the other mother to make sure your only reason for living is there. And the next time your daughter asks you if she can go and stay at her friend’s house, you offer the alternative because you can’t bear the thought of her being away from you.
I’ve had a few moments in my life where my life flashed before my eyes. Regardless of how safe I’ve felt, I’ve lived with fear for the past six years. Fear of the unknown, fear that Ray would find out my life is a lie, fear that the random knock on the door in the middle of the night would reveal Frannie or Ted Lawson and I’d be powerless to stop them.
But nothing has ever prepared me for what I’m feeling now. My life and the life of my daughter is a continuous movie reel showing me everything that I remember and conjured up in my mind.
As I stand here, my heart beats slowly as the fear I’ve been trying to avoid seeps into my system. The shock I’m going through will eventually go away when my endorphins kick in and my fight or flight reactors engage.
I’ve been duped. I should’ve never listened to Cara and jumped at her vague answer regarding Nate. And Ryley—the one person who in a matter of moments made me believe I could trust someone—has lied. They’re not here to flesh out Frannie, they’re here to deliver me to her. They work for her.
I step back from the man in the doorway and shake my head. I’m trapped. I have nowhere to run and everyone in town is at the Village Green. It’s the perfect set up and I’ve walked right into it. The thought of Claire being taken and Ray being hurt as he tries to save her run rampant through my mind. I let out a cry, only to be comforted by Ryley.
“Don’t touch me,” I scream. “You people are sick. I just want to be left alone. Why couldn’t you leave me alone?”
“Penny,” the man in the door says my name, as if he knows me. He doesn’t. He can’t.
/> He’s dead.
I look at Ryley, who has tears rolling down her face. I can’t understand why she’s crying. Has her mission failed?
“Penny, I know you’re in shock right now, but please listen to me,” Ryley says as she reaches for me. I step back and try to remain upright when the back of my knees touch the bed.
“I don’t have to listen. This is sick, Ryley. Having someone pose as your dead fiancé to get me to help you? Why would you do that?”
“I’m not dead, Penny. Give us a chance to explain, please,” the imposter pleads. I slowly shake my head, but know I have no choice. He digs into his pocket and pulls out a piece of paper, handing it to me.
“What’s this?”
He sighs, running this hand over the top of his hat. “Read it, please. It’ll help with what I’m about to tell you.”
Unfolding it carefully, I read the words at the top of the page:
In an instant I think back to six or seven months ago when Ray said he saw a news report, something about a conspiracy. His words are clear, “Anyway, it was about a Navy SEAL who was reported dead, but they found him alive.” Him. He said him, not them.
“What about—”