I held her hand in mine as we climbed the steps to my room. Once she crossed the threshold, I shut my door quietly, even though no one was home, and turned the lock. I didn’t want Nate walking in or thinking I was in here alone. Her back was facing me and I used this to my advantage.
I moved her hair to the side and kissed her neck, her collarbone and then down to
her shoulder, sliding the strap of her dress and bra down the side of her arm. I repeated the same steps on the other side, all the while listening to her breathing heavily. I knew the moment that she hesitated I’d stop. If she wasn’t ready, we’d wait.
She turned and jumped into my arms, her lips smashing against mine. I was fumbling to remove her dress and she was taking control, showing me how eager and ready she was. We flopped onto my bed, both of us groaning for all the wrong reasons and still fighting to get our clothes off.
I felt out of breath when I finally sat up and yanked my shorts down, springing free. I was so happy when my dick was alert and ready. He had me worried. That was until Ryley sat forward and took me in her hand. My eyes rolled as her hand worked to get me harder.
There I was sitting on my knees, watching my girl stroke my cock all while she’s naked in front of me, waiting. She knew what she wanted and pulled me forward, guiding me to her entrance. I wanted to take her so bad, right then and there, but I paused and she knew something was wrong. I didn’t have any condoms and I was mentally kicking my ass for being this fucking stupid.
‘I love you, Ryley, but we can’t do this.’
‘Why not?’
‘I don’t have any condoms.’
‘I’m on the pill, Evan. I want this with you.’
Who was I to deny my girl what she wanted?
“Where’d you go?” she asks, bringing me out of my own porn film.
I shake my head. “Just remembering our first time together.” She blushes and looks away, but doesn’t move her hand from my lap. If I didn’t know better, and I can’t confirm this without looking down at my crotch, I swear to god her pinky is rubbing up and down over the outside of my pants making me wish our son wasn’t in the back sleeping.
“We were so young.”
I shake my head. “You were. Technically, I was an adult.”
“That was so long ago.”
I pick up her hand and kiss her before placing in back on my thigh. She looks at me when her hand brushes against me and I wink. She has to know that she still has this effect on me. I don’t want her thinking that she doesn’t turn me on just by sitting next to me.
“We were stupid,” I throw out there, thinking about how we never used a condom.
She looks over her shoulder and I wish I could see her eyes right now. I want to see them light up when she looks at our son. “I don’t know about that, Evan. We created him.”
“Babe, we created him ten years after being together. I’m talking about when we were teens and screwing all over the place without a condom.”
This time she shrugs. “If I had gotten pregnant back then, what would you have done?”
“Same thing I did when you got pregnant with EJ. Ask you to marry me.” I have to look away because by all accounts we should be married by now. I should’ve made her an honest woman years ago, but our lives were too busy.
“It’s what I should do now.”
“It’s not that easy,” she whispers and yet keeps her hand on my leg.
“Ry, the quicker you realize you’re not marrying Nate, not as long as I’m alive, the quicker we can move on with our lives.”
Her head turns sharply, and I know I’m in trouble. “And what makes you think I’m not going to marry Nate.”
“Simple, you love me.”
NATE STILL ISN’T HOME and each day that passes brings me closer and closer to the brink of panic. I’ve called and left another message, more urgent than before. I don’t know if he’s getting them or not, but it concerns me that whoever’s delivering them isn’t doing so with the intent of an emergency. I want Nate to hear it from me that Evan is alive even though I wouldn’t be surprised if someone in his company has already informed him.
And if that’s the case, why isn’t he home? Why isn’t he here dealing with everything that I am? I know that once he’s here, things will go from relatively calm to utter chaos. My life is slowly becoming a bad segment on a talk show. Two brothers, as close as any brothers could be, will battle it out over me and my son. Lines are already drawn in the sand so to speak, and EJ and I are standing smack dab in the middle. It’s not going to matter which side I step to; the Archer twins will never be the same. I could choose neither, but I know deep down that Evan will never accept that. And neither will Nate. They both love me, each in their own way. I feel like I’m on a cracked out version of The Bachelorette.
Evan has been staying here since the day we finished our first therapy session. That was over a week ago. I didn’t have it in me to send him back to the base, especially since this is his house and he’s trying to get to know EJ. I’m not gonna lie, having him here has been hard. I’ve had to sit on my hands one too many times to keep myself from touching him. Every hand hold, every kiss, every moment we’ve shared has been initiated by him. I have no doubt he’s questioning my love for him, but I can’t bring myself to disgrace Nate that way. I know I should tell Evan to knock it off, but I can’t. I love him. I have since I was seventeen and having him here, in the flesh, is a constant reminder of what I’ve been missing.