Blind Reality (Blind Reality 1)

“Listen to him,” I offer as advice when I pass by. “He may be onto something.” I give him a soft smile, hoping to show him that I agree with him working with Joshua.

I walk outside and let the sun beat down on my face. Being on a studio lot, I give credit to the set designers and how they make sure we still get our daily dose of vitamin D. Even in the world of reality television, if it’s raining we can go out and dance in the rain. I’ve never been kissed in the rain …

Music is blaring while Joshua and Cole workout. Amanda is sunbathing and Millie is lounging on the outdoor couch with her hair piled on top of her head and her eyes covered in huge Liz Taylor sunglasses. I sit in the spot that gives me the best angle to stare at Josh. With his shirt off, each time he lifts his arms I can faintly see the muscles in his back move.

I sigh heavily when Josh bends over, earning a righteous laugh from Millie. I look away, knowing that if I keep staring he’s going to catch me.

“God, you guys must have had some crazy monkey sex.”

I can’t help but laugh when she says that. In my head, yes, we’re all over the place: bed, wall, dresser, bathroom counter, shower, stairs, couch, and kitchen chair. Any surface, really, and I can picture myself succumbing to his needs. Or mine, it doesn’t matter really. I’m jealous of Millie and her relationship with Cole. It seems like they have the same connection as Josh and me, but they’re getting the good stuff. Oh yeah, that makes me sound like a slut, but when you have man candy like Joshua Wilson kissing you, touching you, you tend to want to lose yourself and I so want to get lost in him, repeatedly.

“I need a drink,” I say, changing the subject. I can’t talk about the lack of sex we have. For one, we’re always being recorded for those lovely “hey look at what Joey did on Married Blind” recaps. And two, admitting it out loud really stings. I said it in the shower and it hurt to say those words.

“Oh drinks would be fun.” Millie stands, adjusting her suit before she turns to Amanda. “Wanna cocktail?”

“Did someone say drinks?” Gary asks as he steps out into the yard, almost colliding with Millie. Beaming at him, Millie nods her head as she moves past him and into the house. I watch as Amanda walks toward Gary; she pauses and lifts her sunglasses to the top of her head. If I’m not mistaken, the shining smile she’s giving him tells me that she maybe falling for him after all. Of course, it shouldn’t have taken Josh’s help, but whatever.

“Guys, I have chips, dip, and booze,” Millie yells, getting Joshua and Cole’s attention. I’m not sure what man would turn down chips or booze, so to watch them actually jog over here is comical. And to think, all I said is that I needed a drink.

“We should play Never Have I Ever,” Amanda suggests, and my stomach turns instantly. Depending on the questions I may have to lie. Like if Amanda were to say “never have I ever had sex with a celebrity?” The answer is no, but I can’t tell anyone that. Amanda would ruin me. Her talons would come out and she’d scratch her way to my man.

“Sounds fun,” Gary replies as he sits down next to her and I want to gouge his eyes out because no, this isn’t fun.

Joshua sets up six red cups as our shot glasses and pours tequila in each of them. Cole slices enough lime to get us stared. I’m thankful to whatever producer makes sure we have ample booze on hand because I’m going to need it to get through this game. I have a feeling I’m going to be the winner.

Once the cups are ready, Joshua sits back, putting his arm around me. I take advantage and lean in. I mean, why the hell not, right? He’s my husband so I should be entitled to touch him whenever I want. If someone would give him the memo on the rules of being married, I’d be forever in their debt.

Amanda perches on the edge of the couch, pushing her boobs out for Josh and Cole to see. I glance quickly at Josh to see where he’s looking and I’m met with a piercing stare. If I didn’t know better I’d say he’s happy to be sitting next to me, but I do know better. He’s content and simply playing the game.

“Never have I ever …” Amanda looks at all of us, pushing her blonde hair off her shoulders before shrugging in her attempt to be cute. It’s not working for me, but maybe it does for Gary. “Touched my own boobs,” she giggles but drinks, defeating the purpose of getting others drunk first.

“Stupid, that’s what self-breast exams are.” I lean over and lick the top of my hand and add the salt, slam my drink, and put the lime between my lips. “I hate this game already,” I mumble as the tequila burns my throat.

“My turn,” Millie says with far too much excitement. “Never have I ever been to a strip club.” She drinks, much to my shock, and gives a little shrug. “What? I’m a police officer, it’s a job hazard.”

“Okay.” Joshua and me are the only ones that don’t drink. “I’m happy you’re with me on that one,” I tell him as he suddenly downs his shot.

“My turn,” I blurt out, needing a break. I’m not a lightweight, but I haven’t eaten and I’m afraid that it won’t take long to turn me into a touchy feely unwanted wife. “Never have I ever had sex in public.” Only Amanda drinks, giving us all a break.

“Never, huh?” Joshua whispers to me. I shake my head and keep my eyes locked on anywhere but him.

“Never have I ever been arrested,” Joshua says, and this time it is just Gary who drinks.

“Do tell,” Cole blurts out.

Gary blushes but tells that one night in college he was dared to go streaking and ra

n in front of a police officer. Millie tells us she’s had to arrest a streaker before and it’s not fun.

“Never have I ever had drunken sex,” Cole says as he sits back, smiles, and watches the rest of us pound our shots. And here I thought I was the prude one in the group, but even I’ve done that.

Our game continues and turns fun. I’m up to seven shots, or maybe eight. My tongue is numb and my speech is somewhat sideways, not slurred, but I’m actually enjoying myself. Joshua’s hands have been roaming from my shoulder to my ear. His fingers play in my hair before he removes his arm and rests his hand on my bare thigh. His lips have touched my shoulder, my ear, and the back of my hand. He’s killing me slowly, but it’s worth it. It’s worth having the memories of what I could’ve had if he didn’t insist on living by his stupid rules.

“We should go to bed,” he whispers as his lips move from my ear to my neck. He doesn’t have to ask me twice.

I stand abruptly and announce that I’ve had enough. The fact that Josh laughs doesn’t help because the snide comments start from Cole and Gary. I want to yell out “be jealous, bitches,” but there really isn’t anything to be jealous of. We’ll kiss, he’ll tell me no, but hold me while I sleep and fight the tears.

As soon as we’re back inside the house, firm hands catch my hips and guide me toward the master suite. Joshua’s chest is pressed to my back as we walk awkwardly to our room. I could stop and ask him what’s going on, but the anticipation I’m feeling needs to be explored. I’m going to make a move once we’re behind the closed door.