Blind Reality (Blind Reality 1)

“Oh gosh, not in a million years. We’re kept pretty much in the dark, pun intended, until after the first kiss. I believe I passed out when I saw him.”

“You did. We have the footage.”

Lovely, just want I want to be reminded of. I turn and watch the clip and everyone sighs when Josh touches my cheek with his hand. As I watch his lips press against mine, my fingers graze my lips, yearning to feel the burn once again. Last week when I saw Josh, I should’ve jumped in his arms and kissed him one more time, just so I had a fresh memory of what it felt like to be kissed by him. As soon as I hit the floor, I can hear the laughter of a few people in the audience. Thankfully there are more ahhs being thrown my way.

“I guess he’s just that smooth,” I say, with a shrug.

Everyone erupts with laughter and cheers. Score one for Joey. I can’t help but maintain my perma-grin. Any fear I had about being on this show has been quickly dissolved. Steven is fabulous.

“How in love are you and Josh?”

“Oh I don’t know. I guess as in love as any couple that spent the past ninety days together.”

“Hmm, I wonder if Josh feels the same way? Let’s see what he had to say this morning.”

No, let’s not because he doesn’t feel the same way, but I can’t say that. The producers have asked that we keep up the pretenses of being married so that people will believe in the show’s magic. This time I turn cautiously in my chair to watch the clip.

Josh’s face lights up the screen, bringing tears to my eyes. I miss him already and it’s only been a week. I don’t know how it’s going to be when I’m not seeing him ever again. This heartache is going to be a hard one to get over. Not because he’s my celebrity crush, but because I truly fell for the man he is. I love who he is on the inside and had hoped we’d have some type of future together.

He’s surrounded by four women I love watching. I even tried getting tickets once, when Josh had a new movie coming out, but to no avail.

“I fell in love,” he says before adding, “You guys are going to love Joey. She’s very excited to meet you all.”

He’s in love?

I’m excited to meet everyone?

Wait … he’s in love?

I wipe away tears that have fallen before turning to face Steven and the crowd again. I refuse to believe the words coming out of his mouth. He’s an actor. It’s part of his job to pretend to be someone he’s not, and I wouldn’t put it past the producers to have put him up to this. They allowed a video message from Jules to air during our time in the house. Surely, they’d ask him to do this.

“Well there you have it folks, Joshua Wilson says he’s in love with Joey.”

Everyone claps, but I can’t help feeling that they’re being forced to do it. As soon as we move into a break, Lou is by my side. She’s excited about Josh’s proclamation of love. I don’t have the heart to tell her that it’s fake, that he’s being forced to say that. Our love for each other is completely one-sided.

My make-up is fixed and one of the production assistants shows me where to stand for the next segment. I picked two songs earlier, Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance” and Rick Springfield’s “Jessie’s Girl” for karaoke. I have no idea what Steven has chosen.

Steven joins me on stage, looking fresh and relaxed. I don’t know how he does this multiple times a day because right now I’m not sure I can finish one show.

“All right, it’s time for karaoke. I’ll go first,” he says as he takes the mic in his hand and starts moving to the music of “Footloose”. He dances out the final scene of the movie, much to the audience’s pleasure.

I step up and close my eyes, remembering my practice session in the green room earlier. Once the music starts, I mouth the words to my favorite Gag

a song and get the crowd going. They’re up on their feet, singing with me. When my song ends, I take a bow and hand the mic over to Steven.

“Wow! I don’t know if I can top that, but here it goes.”

“You Give Love a Bad Name” kicks off and Steven whips out his air guitar. Everyone starts laughing, even me. I begin playing the air drums, causing Steven to laugh. When he finishes, he gives me a high-five and tells me to knock them dead.

The beat to “Jessie’s Girl” starts as I take the mic and dance around stage. The show’s band is into it, all playing their own version of air instruments. When I’ve hit my last fake note, Steven is there clapping and telling everyone to have a safe night. We stand there and wave until the cameraman announces that he’s done.

“Thanks for coming on,” he says, as he gives me a hug before disappearing behind the curtain.

And just like that my media tour in New York City is over. In two days, I’ll see Josh and my life will change forever.

This past week has been long, one of the longest of my life. I know that if I were able to talk to Joey, it would make things go faster, but each call went unanswered and each text unreturned. I’m going with the notion that she didn’t bring her phone to New York instead of her ignoring me. I’m trying to think positively.

It’s not working.