“I don’t think there’s a correct way to behave when you get news like that, but I’m here no matter what you need to do.”
They sat like that for a long time until she pulled away and began to talk.
“You know, I never really had a mother. I’ve asked myself many times why she was so detached from me. Did she hate my father and perhaps I reminded her of him? Or did her pregnancy totally screw up some plans she had for her life? I remember asking her those questions once but she said I was being disrespectful to even ask, so I never pursued the thought again. She took good care of me…the best clothes, boarding schools, a car when I was sixteen, trips, college education…all of it. But I don’t recall one hug or goodnight kiss or ever hearing her say she loved me. She didn’t expect gratefulness…but obedience was high on her list. When I fought her about taking ownership of the magazine, she cut all communications with me. I did ask for her help or insight when I was being threatened with a hostile takeover. I figured she knew the magazine industry better than anyone else I knew, but she wouldn’t even return my calls.”
After a long pause, she added, “I was shocked she allowed me to use her house here in Montana.”
Finally, she said, quietly, “I’m sad that I’m not feeling sad. If I loved her, there would be a glimmer of emotion, I’d think, but I feel nothing. My life will continue as it has…I never heard from her in the past and I’m certain I’m not going to hear from her now or in the future.”
“Who was it that called you?”
“I don’t know if he gave a name. If he did, I don’t recall what it was. He told me she would be cremated and I needed to come to France to take possession of her ‘remains’ as he called them. Ugh. That sounds revolting.”
Collier waited, sensing she had more to say.
“Apparently, she left detailed instructions as to the dispersal of her belongings and her home. If I know Barbara at all, there’s a will somewhere and no, I do not expect to be included in it. She probably left her wealth to the local cat shelter or something like that. He did mention a letter, addressed to me. That would be her one last chance to tell me how disappointing I was to her…spoken from the grave, so to speak.”
“What will you do with her ashes, Camille?”
“I don’t know but I can tell you they won’t sit on my mantel or anywhere in my home. That would be a constant reminder of our fractured relationship. She probably specified where she wants to be…you know, control things to the end…but if she didn’t…maybe in Missouri would be good. That’s where she grew up.”
Quietly, barely above a whisper, Collier told her, “I’ll go with you. I don’t want you to go to Paris alone.”
She turned to him and kissed him. The kiss was returned in a tender, passionate way.
“That isn’t necessary. I’ve traveled by myself for many years.”
“I realize that, but you’ve not traveled on a journey like this one. Even with the worst relationship, you can’t deny she was your mother and some part of you wishes it could have been different.”
CHAPTER 30
WHEN CAMILLE RETURNED home, she collapsed on the couch. The day had been wonderful, even after the phone call. She would wait for the gentleman who called her to call back with more information. If she wasn’t needed to sort through Barbara’s things, perhaps the ashes could be mailed to her. Surely mortuaries had contingency plans for circumstances like this. Not every relative would have the means to jump on a plane and fly to another country to retrieve ashes.
While she was in the midst of contemplating that problem, her phone rang again.
Maybe this was the man she spoke to earlier but when she found her phone, she saw it was Allie.
“Hey, Allie, how’s everything going? Is the new issue ready to hit the streets?”
“Yes, it’s already available on Amazon and will be in the stores tomorrow. That’s why I’m calling you, Camille.” Allie’s voice sounded like she was almost in tears. That was never a good sign, as Allie was the most unflappable employee on her staff.
“Calm down, Allie. It can’t be that bad. What happened? Did someone goof and put my picture back on the inside cover?” she laughed.
When there was an ominous silence on her phone, she sat up and said, “Allie! That simply is not acceptable. That cannot have happened…but it did, didn’t it?”
“Oh, Camille, I’m so sorry. You can fire me if you want. It’s my fault. I thought I checked everything but I handed that one responsibility to Dory and she missed that detail. I guess she was so used to seeing your photo in that spot for all these years, it seemed normal to her.”
‘Right. I remember how upset Dory was at the staff meeting. She didn’t make a mistake…this was exactly what she wanted to happen. I should have followed my gut instinct and fired her back then.’
‘Okay, okay, Allie…I’m not going to fire you, but I need to think. Maybe there’s a chance we can pull it before distribution.”
“We already tried, Camille. It’s too late. Maybe no one in Montana will see it. After all, our distribution channels don’t go west of the Mississippi.”
Camille sighed and had the thought go through her head, ‘You’re a lot more upset about this call than you were about the previous one. What does that say about you, Camille?’
“Well, there doesn’t seem to be anything we can do at this point so we’ll just have to see what happens and deal with the fallout, if there is any.”
***