My heart nearly stopped. My lips trembled. “I don’t understand.”
“What don’t you understand? I didn’t pick up the goddamned phone, Melanie. I was pissed off at you.”
“I called you because I thought you would help me. Freaking 9-1-1 was busy. Busy!”
“Don’t you think I know that? I know the whole fucking story. And I’ve been dying inside a little bit each day, knowing that I did that to you. That I’m the reason you went through hell.”
“My God…”
“Great, huh? The woman I love went through hell because I was too petty to pick up the goddamned phone. The brother I love went through hell because I couldn’t be bothered to go with him when all he wanted was to investigate the disappearance of hi
s friend. I fucking hate myself right now.”
I cleared my throat, willing myself not to break down. Was I angry? Yes. Hurt? Yes. But… “I…don’t know what to say.” I looked at him, at the man I loved, as I fingered the beautiful diamond choker he had put around my neck.
“No, keep it,” he said. “No one else could wear it now.”
“I didn’t mean—”
He silenced me with a gesture. He was distraught, on the verge of tears, and I longed to run to him and comfort him, to tell him everything would be fine.
But my feet wouldn’t move.
Damn it, feet. Move!
Now he did shed a tear. “You don’t have to say anything. I see it in your eyes. We’re over.” He raked his hands through his hair once more and walked out of the kitchen. He looked over his shoulder. “I’ll be out late. That gives you plenty of time to pack up and get out of here. I know you won’t want to stay here. But I need to know you’re safe, so I talked to Talon. You are welcome there, and he has plenty of room at his place.”
“Why are you putting words in my mouth? And when did you talk to Talon? I was just with him a few hours ago.”
“I called him after I left Bryce.”
“Jonah, please, I don’t want—”
He gestured for me to stop. “I was selfish. I wanted to keep you anyway. Even though I’d failed you. But I know I can’t.” He walked away.
I stood, numb, watching the man who meant everything to me walk out the door of his own home, to give me time to leave.
I hadn’t said I wanted to leave. I hadn’t said anything. He hadn’t given me a chance.
Lucy swished around my legs, looking for attention, but somehow I couldn’t even bend down to pet her. My body was still numb as I stood in the kitchen, wondering what I should do.
Jonah had already given up on us. Why hadn’t he told me sooner? And why wasn’t he willing to stay? To fight for us?
Was he truly not the man I’d thought he was?
No. This was his guilt, pure and simple, and goddamnit, I wasn’t going to let him walk away from us.
Yes, he should have taken my call, but he’d been angry, and why shouldn’t he have been? I’d walked out on him.
And now he’d walked out on me.
Emotions rolled through me. Anger, sadness, fear…all swirling around and through love.
I stood for a few timeless moments until finally I knelt down and petted Lucy. Perhaps leaving for a day or two wasn’t a bad idea. I needed to take my life back, take myself back. I couldn’t depend on Jonah’s protection forever. Or Talon’s, for that matter.
I walked slowly to the guest room where my things were. Packing wouldn’t take too much time. I hadn’t wanted to bring much from my apartment. The big problem was my file cabinet. It was heavy and bulky, and I wasn’t sure I could move it by myself. I put all the papers pertaining to Gina in a box. Those, at least, were going with me.
Within a half hour, I’d loaded my car with everything but my filing cabinet.