All I need with me is Rex. I love Rex.
My lips spread into a smile and I hit the brakes…but I’m on too steep of a decline now and it doesn’t stop. The skidding sound screams in my ears. A sixteen-wheeler comes flying around the bend.
It all happens in the blink of an eye.
Chapter Fourteen
Rex
There’s a god-awful sickness in my gut as I slow the truck to take another turn, just in case Clara is on the other side. To get this far so fast, she would have to be flying down the goddamn mountain at breakneck pace. I’m sweating through my shirt, praying under my breath for a miracle. She wouldn’t even be on this damn mountain if it wasn’t for me. If she’s hurt, if I’m going to go stark raving mad. At her. At life. At anyone in the vicinity.
I can’t even consider something worse happening. Please. Please, dammit. Don’t take her away from me when I just found her. Yes, what we have might be forbidden to some. I’m her step-uncle and a good damn deal older. But there’s never been a bond more undeniable. It’s one that people won’t understand, but it’s ours. She’s wiggled her way into my soul and she’s not budging until my maker takes me.
How could I have said those shitty things to her? She looked ready to burst into tears and I just walked away, hoping she would understand. I should have held her in my arms and talked to her until we found a solution to our problem. What I wouldn’t give to go back in time and wipe her tears away and say sorry. Tell her I love her and I’m never letting go, no matter the kind of judgment we receive.
She’s worth every damn second of it and more.
If she believes I’m worth it, too, then I’ll spend my life grateful. Spend it making her happy and being her provider in all things. If holding my hand in stores and calling me Daddy around strangers makes her happy, everyone can kiss my ass. She’s the one I’m living for. Not them.
When I turn the corner and see her bicycle bent in half, beneath the wheel of a semi-truck, I don’t believe it. No. No. No. It can’t be real. God wouldn’t be this cruel. Ice forms a layer on top of my heart, freezing it into a black ball in my chest. Acid spears up from the pit of my stomach and I slam on the brakes, roaring inside the cabin of my truck.
“Clara!” I stumble out of the truck, the ground blurring around me. “No. No!”
I’ve been holding the plastic bag of contact lenses in my fist since leaving the cabin and it’s still there, useless at my side. She never got to wear them…she never got to walk around without fear of tripping or running into things. I failed. I lost her. I failed. She’s gone. Jesus, she must have been so scared in those final seconds. And I wasn’t here to save her. It was my job.
I double over and bellow at the asphalt road, my voice choking off when I see her black rubber skid marks. I might as well have died with her. Can’t breathe…need to rage. Need to kill.
I’m going to murder whoever took my Clara.
Deadly purpose cuts through the misery and I stand, lunging for the truck driver who appears to be speaking—to me—but I can’t hear anything over the cymbals crashing in my head. “Where is she? Where is she?” I grab him by the collar and I’m in the process of jerking his face down to connect with my knee…when I feel a familiar light touch on my arm. Clara’s spirit come to say goodbye?
I let go of the truck driver and turn. There she is. Beautiful as I left her in the passenger side of my truck. “Ah, girl.” I swallow hard. “Always knew you’d make a perfect angel,” I manage, reaching out to touch her…and I find her solid. Solid? “Clara?”
“Uncle Rex, I’m fine. I’ve been telling you…” She swipes at her wet eyes and I see scratches and blood all down her arms. “You wouldn’t listen. I’m okay.”
“You’re here,” I breathe, not ready to believe what my mind is telling me. If she’s gone, I would go crazy, after all. It could be a trick. “Your bike…”
“I jumped off at the last second. It bit the dust. I didn’t.” She glances down at her arms. “Well I wiped out, but that’s nothing new—”
She doesn’t get the rest out because I’m pulling her into my arms, trying to absorb her goodness into my body. I’m still so fucking cold, but as my sanity slowly returns, so does the heat. I’m holding Clara. She’s okay. She’s alive. I didn’t lose her. My life is still flashing in front of my eyes, though. Christ. I lived without her on this earth for a full minute and it was the longest sixty seconds of my life. Never again. “I love you,” I growl into her hair. “I love you and that means you have to stop getting hurt. Can’t take it, girl. You’re my fucking world now.”