* * *
I shot up in bed.
My heart was beating out of my chest. What the fuck? A new dream?
I had to talk to Dr. Carmichael. She had given me her number, but I had never used it, other than to call to make an appointment. She told me point blank that she didn’t normally give out her cell number except in rare cases. I guessed I was one of those rare cases.
I had come so far. I had told Jade everything, and she hadn’t turned away from me. I had to get through this. And I wasn’t going to be able to get through it if I continued to have horrible and disgusting dreams. I looked at my cell phone. Ten thirty. Not too early to call.
I punched in Dr. Carmichael’s number.
“This is Melanie.”
“Hi. It’s…Talon. Talon Steel.”
“Yes, Talon, I recognized your number. Did you want to try to get an appointment today?”
“No. I mean, I was wondering if you could talk to me now.”
“Of course. Are you all right?”
“Yeah. I mean no, but yeah. I’m not suicidal or anything. I’m not going to do anything stupid. But I’m a little freaked.”
“Tell me what’s going on.”
“I told Jade everything last night.”
“I see. And how did it go?”
“It was…hard. I mean, I knew it would be. But still it was hard.”
“How did she take it?”
“She bawled. I bawled. But we got through it.”
“And none of it mattered to her, did it?”
I sighed. “No.”
“Is that what you need to talk to me about?
”
“No. I just had a really freaky dream.” As I told Dr. Carmichael about the dream, my skin chilled. “It’s different than any other dream I’ve had. I really don’t know why I would have it now, right after I told Jade.”
“Well, Talon, you’ve always been able to protect everyone. Everyone except yourself. Now you finally have the person who means everything to you, so you’re afraid that you won’t be able to protect her.”
“It can’t be that simple.”
“Dreams are never simple. But that’s my initial thought. You can come into the office if you want, and I can take you through guided hypnosis. That might give us more valuable information.”
“No, I don’t want to do that. At least not today. I guess I was just surprised by it all. I mean, I woke up in a cold sweat.”
“Understandable. But dreams are usually manifestation of fears, sometimes fears we don’t even realize we have. And that’s a very legitimate fear.”
“But she trusts me, Doc. She fucking trusts me.”
“Of course she does. With good reason. You’re a very trustworthy person.”