“Jesus Christ. You’re in love with him.”
“No, that’s not it.” But it was a lie. She knew it, and judging from the look on Sam’s face, he did, too. “Yes. Yes, I am.” Saying it out loud made it so final. So true. “And it’s because I love him that I’m going to leave him, but not until he’s well.”
“Even if it costs you your own health? You love him that much?”
“Yes.” Without a doubt.
“I sure as hell hope he’s worth it, Dust.”
“He is. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go to the man I love.”
Without speaking further to the doctor or to Laurie and Chad, Dusty headed back to Zach’s room. He looked so peaceful in his drug-induced sleep, but when she looked more closely, the underlying tension in the smooth lines of his face showed itself. She caressed his beard-roughened jaw, leaned forward, and kissed his lips.
“I’m here, sweetheart,” she said. “I’m not leaving until you’re well. I love you. I love you so much.” Tears rolled down her cheeks. “I’m so sorry about all of this. I wish I’d never come to Denver. If I hadn’t, you wouldn’t be here in this stupid hospital, and I wouldn’t have to break your heart and mine.” She lay down next to him, cuddled into his body, and sobbed into his shoulder.
After ten minutes, she choked back her last sob, determined to focus on Zach and not herself. “I’ll see you well if it’s the last thing I do. I will, Zach. I will.”
Chapter Thirteen
Twenty-four hours later and still no change. The culture hadn’t shown anything other than strep and staff, but Zach wasn’t responding to antibiotics. Worse still, the infection appeared to be spreading.
“I’m going to take him into surgery,” the doctor told them. “I need to remove some of the diseased tissue.”
“Will there be scarring?” Laurie asked.
“Some. The extent will depend on how much I have to take.”
“But he’s so weak from fever,” Laurie said. “Can he handle surgery?”
“He’s young, healthy, and in great physical shape. Trust me, I’ve operated on much worse and they’ve come through fine. I think it’s the best alternative at this point.”
Dusty sat, dazed, running her fingers through her greasy hair. It had been two days since she had bathed. She hadn’t eaten properly, and she was walking around like a zombie. She said nothing to the doctor, just watched him walk away in a blur. She blinked. Her eyes wouldn’t focus.
“Come on, twerp,” Chad said. “I’ll take you to your hotel. You need a bath and a good night’s sleep.”
“I’m not leaving him.”
“How about if I take you to Zach’s suite? Would you like that?”
“Only if he’s there.”
Chad sighed. “All right.”
Dusty closed her eyes and prayed silently to a God she wasn’t sure existed to please spare Zach’s life. She was tired, so tired. Her body ached with fatigue, and a fog swam in her mind. Sam had taken third place bronc busting, but when he came to the hospital to tell her the news, she hadn’t been able to so much as smile for him.
“Sugar.” Laurie touched her arm.
Dusty opened her eyes.
“Come with me,” Zach’s mother said. “It’s not good for us to sit around doing nothing like this.”
She led Dusty to the women’s room and produced two small bottles of shampoo and conditioner from her purse. “Lean down. I’m going to wash your hair.”
The thought that it would make more sense to use the shower in Zach’s room floated on a synapse across Dusty’s mind, but she nodded at the older woman. She didn’t have the strength to argue. Laurie’s gentle touch on Dusty’s scalp soothed her, and she nearly nodded off. When Laurie finished she wrapped Dusty’s head in a towel and handed her a jar of Noxzema. “Wash your face now.”
Dusty did as she was told. It did feel better to be clean.
“You have beautiful hair,” Laurie said, as she combed through it. “You always did, even when you were a babe. Such a lovely strawberry-blond color. So thick and wavy.”