And as long as I still considered him my half brother, I wasn’t ready to talk.
Was it even my parentage I was grieving? Or was it the loss of trust in my siblings? In my woman? If she even was my woman.
“You should have told me about the DNA test.”
He sighed and put his glass of tea back down on the table. “You’re right. Jade and Melanie warned us.”
“Why didn’t you listen to them?”
“Because we truly thought the test would be negative. I did, at least. Joe wasn’t so sure. But we figured if it did turn out to be negative, you’d never have to know and you wouldn’t be hurt by it at all. We could spare you the worry.”
“Spare me the worry? I’m a big boy. You think I’ve never dealt with worry? I’ve known worry since I was seven, the day you were taken.”
I regretted the words as soon as they’d left my mouth. Again, Talon had been through so much more than I ever had, and he’d been the one who spared me the same fate. I owed him everything. I owed him my life.
Then it dawned on me what was so horrible about this whole thing. I was no longer the full brother of my hero, and that cut into me like a hunting blade slicing my innards into hash.
Nothing could be done. It was what it was. I was the son of Bradford Steel and Wendy Madigan. I was half brother to my siblings. Nothing more, nothing less.
They’d made it clear that they still thought of me as their full brother. I didn’t doubt their sincerity. So why did I feel like less of a Steel?
I still had the right father to be a Steel. I just wasn’t a legitimate Steel.
Yet I was, in the eyes of the law. Daphne Steel’s name was on my birth certificate.
“It’s all so twisted, Tal.”
He nodded. “Agreed. But this doesn’t have to be a big deal, Ry.”
I widened my eyes, clenching my hands into fists. “Did you really just say that? I find out I have the DNA of a complete loony tune, and it’s not a big deal?”
r /> “You’re right,” he said. “I shouldn’t belittle it. But you’re in your thirties with no signs of mental illness. You’re okay, Ryan. I promise.”
“Easy for you to say.”
“My mother wasn’t exactly mentally fit either.”
He had the truth of that. Both he and Jonah had inherited Daphne Steel’s depression. I’d never been depressed a day in my life. “I understand that. I just don’t want to wake up one day and find I’ve lost my grip on reality.”
“You won’t.” He looked me straight in the eye. “I won’t let you. I promise.”
“You have no control over what my brain does. How can you make that promise?”
“How can I not? It’s the same promise you made to me countless times when I was heading into darkness. You and Joe were the ones who convinced me to get help. You never turned your back on me, Ry, and I promise I’ll never turn my back on you.”
And again, what my brother had been through stabbed me in the heart. “Talon, I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For everything. For what you went through.”
“It’s water under the bridge. I’m married to the love of my life, and I have the best therapist in the world as my sister-in-law. I’m doing okay. I also have the best little brother on the planet, and I don’t want to lose him. You were always there for me. Now it’s time for me to be here for you.”
“I just wish…”
“We all do, Ry. We all do. But it honestly doesn’t matter to Joe, Marj, and me. You’re still our brother, just as you always have been. The only person this matters to is you.”
“Of course it matters to me! It would matter to you if the situation were reversed.”