Get a grip, Ryan. She’s talking. Don’t stop now.
I sat down.
I clenched my jaw. “Where the hell is my father?” I said through gritted teeth.
“He will come to you when the time is right.”
“Did you help him fake his death?”
“I’d do anything for him.”
Not an answer. “How can you continue to say that, when you had his son abducted and raped?”
“That was a sad casualty. It was unfortunate. But you should be thanking me, Ryan.”
“Thanking you? Are you crazy? What the hell for?”
“They let you go that day. Because you’re my son.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Ruby
So tell me, then. Is the love you feel for him stronger than whatever is holding you back?
Melanie’s question played over in my mind.
Yes! The word was in my head, where I was shouting it. But instead, I said, “I don’t know. These feelings are all so new to me.”
“I understand.”
“I never thought I’d feel love for a man. Not like this.”
“True love can be a little surprising when it creeps up on you. I should know.” She smiled.
“It’s not just the feeling that’s surprising,” I said.
“What else?”
“It’s…” I swallowed, embarrassment overwhelming me. “It’s the sex.”
“What about the sex? Are you not enjoying it?”
“Oh, no.” God, my cheeks must be red as a fire truck. “I’m definitely enjoying it.”
“Then what?”
“I’m… I feel like I’m no longer me when I’m with him. Like I’m losing myself. Like I want to lose myself. It scares me.”
“Why?”
“Because I’ve been on my own since I was a kid. I’ve depended on no one but myself for seventeen years. And now all of a sudden I’m ready to give all that up? It doesn’t make any sense. Like last night…”
“What happened last night?”
“I…forced myself not to have an orgasm. Which I know sounds ridiculous. Orgasms are pretty amazing. Part of me can’t believe I went this long without them.”
“Why do you think you forced yourself not to have one?”