“You have no reason to envy me. You are beautiful and smart, and any man who doesn’t want you is an idiot.”
Sophie let out a shaky laugh. “You always could make me smile.”
“What were your feelings for Van Arden? Did you fancy yourself in love with him?”
Sophie shook her head. “If what Lily and Rose said is true, and you know without a doubt when you’re in love, no, I was not in love with Van Arden. But I was very fond of him, and I think I could have been happy as his wife.”
Despite the experiences of Lily and Rose, Alexandra still wasn’t sure she believed in love. Love had never been a requirement for her own marriage. She didn’t love Mr. Landon, and she didn’t labor under any delusion that he loved her. Sophie, though, would hold out for love. And her sister needn’t worry. Ally would have plenty of money to take care of Sophie if need be. Never would her sister be forced into a loveless and abusive marriage like their mother had been. Ally would see to that.
“He is not the last man on earth, Sophie. There are others, and the right one will find you.”
“I do hope you’re right. I couldn’t bear the thought of being forced into an unhappy marriage.”
“Sophie, I’ll say it again. Mother and the earl would never force you into anything. She knows better than anyone that spinsterhood is preferable to an abusive situation.”
“Spinsterhood? I can’t bear the thought of that either.” Sophie wiped her eyes again with her lace handkerchief. “Perhaps I should have allowed a few kisses. Van Arden was never insistent, but he did ask a couple of times.”
Ally wasn’t certain how to respond. She had done her share of kissing, but it was out of her own curiosity rather than to give the gentleman in question anything. Today she had the chance to allow Mr. Landon a few more liberties, and she had wanted to try, but her heart hadn’t really been in it. Her curiosity had been sated. She had done what she wanted and more with Evan.
“If you are not comfortable with allowing him a kiss, you did the right thing,” Ally said. “When you are ready to give a kiss, you will know, and you will be doing it for yourself, not for someone else.”
“Is that how you truly feel, Ally? Did you truly only allow Mr. Landon liberties because you wanted them?”
“Absolutely. I have the intention to marry Mr. Landon, but I myself was curious. And if my curiosity can help me show a gentleman that my treasures are worth sampling for the rest of his life, all the better. But believe me, Sophie, I wanted the liberties as much as he did.”
“But it’s not ladylike to want such things. As ladies, we are supposed to be the sensible gender and rebel against our baser instincts.”
“Yes, that is what convention dictates, is it not? However, we are all human beings, and women have needs just as gentlemen do.”
“Ally! How can you speak of such things? Ladies aren’t supposed to have such thoughts.”
“How can you even say that anymore? You and I have both watched Lily and Rose succumb to their baser desires, and neither of them regretted it one bit. I’ve done a lot of reading, Sophie, and there are parts of the female anatomy that are meant solely for pleasure.”
“My goodness, those cheap novels—if one can even call them such—cannot be relied upon for accurate information.”
“I’m not talking about the novels, though they are terribly amusing and you would do well to read a couple of them. I am talking about basic anatomy. Have you perused the library here at the estate? The earl has myriad reference books, and the library over at Lily and the duke’s estate has even more. You know what a voracious reader I am. I’ve devoured nearly all of them.”
“My goodness, Ally, what on earth could you be speaking about?”
“I’m speaking about sexual desire, Sophie.”
Ally smiled as h
er sister’s cheeks turned red as a beet.
“No need to be embarrassed, sister dear. Did you know that women have an organ in the body whose sole function is sexual pleasure?”
“Ally, really. Must we discuss this? And of course men have an organ for sexual pleasure as well. Even a lady as naïve as I knows that.”
“Well, of course. But that organ has several functions other than sexual pleasure. Excretion for one, procreation for another. The organ I’m talking about has only one function, and that organ is found only on the female body.”
“You can’t possibly be serious.”
“Oh, I am more than serious. In fact I—”
Ally and her sister both looked up as the parlor door opened swiftly. Evan stood in the doorway, his large frame nearly taking up the entire space.
“Sophie, Alexandra, I must speak with you.”