“Do you ever worry he’ll break?” I wished I could take back the words as soon as I uttered them. Of course Talon worried. We all did.
“I do. But he’s getting the best therapy available with Melanie twice a week and with a child psychologist in Denver once a month. Right now, though, Dale is the issue. He’s having a hard time opening up to both doctors. At least Donny’s talking. Trust me. The more you hold it in, the more it just eats away at you. I’ve been there.”
I nodded. What could I say? We all knew Talon’s story…including my father’s involvement.
“So what’s up?” Talon asked.
I cleared my throat. “I went to Joe’s first, but he wasn’t home.”
“He and Melanie went out.”
“I heard. Great news about the baby.”
“True. Jade’s so young, she doesn’t need an amnio. Thank God. This pregnancy has been hard enough on her as it is.”
“She’s strong.”
“That she is. And we both want this baby so much. Can you imagine? Me with three kids? I never thought I’d want children, but when I met Jade, that all changed.”
I nodded. Again, I didn’t know what to say. I had always wanted children. Indeed, I had a child—a beautiful son I adored. But now I worried constantly. I didn’t exactly come from great genes.
Henry was here, and all I could do was hope like hell he hadn’t inherited any of my father’s mental issues. But that was it for me. No more kids. No more chances of handing down my father’s defective brain.
Talon cleared his throat. “Is everything okay? Your mom? Henry?”
“We’re fine.”
Right. Fine. What a crock. Henry was fine, at least. At a little over a year old, he was way too young to have a clue about the upheaval we’d all been through. Thank God for small favors.
“What’s up, then?”
I inhaled, gathering what little strength I had left. “I hate asking you this, but I’m desperate. I need a job, Talon.”
“Aren’t you—”
I shook my head. I was a financial analyst by trade, and I knew what he was going to ask. “I can’t. I can’t work at a desk right now. I want to be outside doing physical labor.”
“Really? With your background, we could find you a desk position. We could use your brain, man.”
I shook my head again, this time more vehemently. “Most of my father’s assets have been seized, so I need to be working. But no, Tal. Please. I just want to be a hand. In the orchards, vineyards, with the cattle. Whatever. I don’t care. Just put me to work. I want to do a hard day’s work and then be too fucking exhausted to think.”
“If it’s money—”
“Absolutely not. I want to earn my keep.”
“You know we’d do anything for you. You and Joe have been friends your whole lives.”
“I do know that, though I don’t deserve it.”
“Look, this is getting to be a broken record, Bryce. None of us blames—”
I held up my hand to stop him. I’d heard it all before. He was right. It had become a broken record. “Damn it, Talon, I want to work. I need to work. I need to feel like I’m doing something for my son and my mom. I know you don’t blame me, and I appreciate it. That doesn’t stop me from blaming myself.”
“But you didn’t do anything.”
“No, I didn’t, but I should have known what kind of man my father was. I should have figured it out before now.”
“You were thirteen when I was taken, Bryce.”