“Did you end it with him?”
I nod. For some reason I can’t bring myself to say yes. The simple nod is all I have in me.
She’s silent for a second, and then lets out a little sigh. “Is it really so bad he didn’t tell you he was a big-time billionaire? I can think of worse things you could find out about your boyfriend,” she teases.
Oh, I have a list I want to tell her, but instead I give her a half smile. I don’t want to be the girl that cries in the office, and if I start talking, that will likely happen. Worse, I’d be crying over the boss. I couldn’t get more cliché.
“God, I bet this meeting is going to be so fucking boring.” I turn my head to see Eric standing by my cubicle. He looks like he just rolled out of bed, or maybe that’s the messy hair thing I’ve seen some guys doing. I don’t get it. It looks sloppy for work.
“I think it’s a general meeting, going over random company stuff. I hear they do them periodically,” Skyler adds.
Eric shrugs and goes over to his desk.
“Think he’ll be there?” I say quietly so no one else can hear us.
“Is he mad you wanted to end it?”
I nod.
“Yep. He’ll be there.” She reaches out, squeezing my shoulder. “Act like you don’t care.”
If only it was that easy. My cold act this morning, walking five feet from him, was hard enough. I wanted to be indifferent and pretend I didn’t care at all. I thought that would hurt him more than giving him anger or tears. Indifference made it seem like he wasn’t worth any emotion. I wanted to hurt him, and I wanted him to be as miserable as I was.
Because if there’s one thing I can be sure of, it’s that while I might not get what Miles is doing, he wants me. Wants might not even be the right word. Obsession seems to fit better. It’s clearly unhealthy, but the worst part is a little flutter hits me when I think about him being obsessed with me. Even though I know it isn’t right. Even though I know it’s crazy. I’d be lying if I denied that a deep part of me is intrigued by it.
I go back to looking at my screen. I should really try to get something done before this meeting. It’s the whole reason I came in early, to not think about Oz.
I hear a ping on my computer and look up to see a new email.
From: [email protected]
Subject: I’m sorry
I hold my mouse over the email, wanting to click it so bad. I move my cursor over to the trash button and click, then go in and block his email. I’ll crack too easily right now. It’s best if I avoid him, because I know I can stay away. It’s moments like now, when my anger isn’t at its height, that I feel weak. I want to talk to him and ask him so many things to try to stop all the questions bouncing around inside my head. Maybe then I can think. Or maybe I’d only make it worse.
I want to go back to Saturday morning and not get up from the bed. I wish I could have enjoyed that moment a little longer before the lies came crashing in and took not only Miles from me, but Paige, too. The only family I’d ever had. I lost them both in a matter of minutes. Or maybe it was me being stupid again to think I even had them to begin with.
“You ready?” Skyler asks, popping her head over my cubicle again. I glance at the clock on my computer screen, realizing I’ve been staring off for twenty minutes. Hey, maybe I don’t need to quit. At this rate, I’ll probably be fired by the end of the week.
“Yeah.”
Reaching under my desk, I grab my purse. Eric comes around to join us as we make our way down the elevator to the bottom floor of the building. We file into what looks like an auditorium. The room fills up quickly with more than two hundred people.
I take a seat between Skyler and Eric, pulling a notepad and pen out in case I need to write something down. I look over and next to the stage against the wall, I see Paige wearing all black. Today her reddish-brown hair is tied into a loose ponytail, but something about her is off. She scans the crowd, and after only a second, she’s looking right at me. Our eyes lock and a lump immediately forms in my throat. I don’t think Paige and I have spent more than twenty-four hours apart in the last four years.
I should be mad at her. I should be fucking pissed, but it’s hard when she’s giving me that look. She’s hurting. I can see it all over her face, and it’s not a look I’m used to on her. Not Paige. She’s strong and doesn’t need anyone or anything, but she doesn’t look that way right now. Right now, she looks like she needs me.