Once finished, she and Sapphire headed to the arena to await the start of the race. Sydney was set to go second to last.
One by one, she watched the other racers, each time thinking they did something better than she did. She had beaten most of these racers the other day, so why was she doubting herself?
Because now there was something more at stake. Not just the purse.
Duke.
Sam.
The two most important people in her life.
She’d never have a life with both of them. Duke was her parents’ son now. The most she’d ever get as the birth mother was visitation, and she could have that now as his big sister. What would Sam get?
Probably nothing.
Of course, if he married her, he could be Duke’s brother-in-law. Sydney shook her head. That wouldn’t be enough for Sam. And though he professed to love her, he would never marry her just to have his son. He was too honorable for that.
He had to trust her first.
She had to find a way to make him trust her.
How? How could she? She’d betrayed him in such a terrible way already. She’d kept him from his son. She wasn’t sure she could ever forgive herself.
And now her parents, her beloved parents, had run rather than face losing the little boy they adored.
She had gotten herself, her son, her parents, and the man she loved into one fine mess indeed.
“Syd, you’re up next,” Sharla Perkins, the racer behind her, said.
Sydney jerked out of her stupor. She hadn’t even seen the racers ahead of her go. She had no idea what kind of competition she was up against.
She and Sapphire headed forward.
“Next up is Sydney Buchanan of Nevada,” the announcer, Mark, said. “Sydney won a handsome purse in her first race. Let’s see what she can show us today.”
Yeah, let’s see for sure.
She closed her eyes. But instead of images of her and Sapphire, working as one, only dark visions of her parents running away appeared.
Sapphire. Must see myself with Sapphire. Why isn’t this working?
No more time to stall. She had to go.
She opened her eyes, signaled to the judge, and raced forward. With the force of a tornado, Sydney took Sapphire around the first barrel perfectly. She looked straight ahead and galloped toward the second, taking Sapphire around in the opposite direction. Thank God! One more to go. She aimed toward the final barrel.
Thundering applause rushed from the stands. She could do it. She was doing it. Sam was out there watching. She’d do it for him, for Duke, for all the mistakes she’d made.
God, the mistakes…
A millisecond later, Sapphire knocked down the final barrel.
Her throat constricted, Sydney raced back and crossed the electric eye. She didn’t see her time.
It didn’t matter anyway. Even if she’d made her personal best, the barrel would cost her a five second penalty. She wouldn’t place.
She dismounted and petted the mare’s nose. “Great job, sweetie.”
A local girl approached her. “Tough break,” she said.