“I thought I’d take this stuff out to the kitchen.”
“That can wait. Here—” He took the tray from her and set it on the floor next to his side of the bed.
Maria swallowed, unsure what was to come. She said nothing.
He turned to face her, cupping her cheek with one palm. His touch sent her sizzling.
“Mia, I wish I could take parts of today back.”
“Jeff…”
“I’m serious. I never wanted to dirty you with any of that.”
“Please. I’m a big girl. I wanted you to open up to me.”
“I know. And I adore you for it. I just never wanted you to have to deal with any of those things. They’re too…awful.”
“I want to deal with it. I want to be here for you. And I intend to be.”
He smiled, stroking her skin. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
Apprehension sliced through her. Was he going to set her loose? Say they had no future? That he’d never be healed? She balled her hands into fists. Damn it, she was prepared to fight for what they’d had, what they could have again. She’d give him all the time he needed, but they would have a future.
She forced her voice to stay steady. “What is it?”
He smiled. “I forgave you long ago.”
She widened her eyes. He had? And all this time…when he was pushing her away… Did he no longer love her? A pit of hopelessness opened in her belly.
He spoke again before she could form any words. “I forgave you. And I forgave Wayne. I’m glad he was there for you and for Angie. You both needed him, and I’m glad he loved my little girl.”
“He was her—”
“—favorite,” they said together.
“I know she was,” Jeff said. “I wish he and I could have made peace while he was alive. But at least I know he was a good man and he took care of all that was precious to me.”
The lump in her throat began to dissolve. She was still precious to him. But still he held something back.
“The thing is, I couldn’t be with you, even though I had forgiven you.”
“Why not?”
“I couldn’t forgive myself.”
“Jeff, all those mistakes you made were long ago. You were young and headstrong. You had been disinherited. Everyone makes mistakes.”
“Mine cost a man his life, and though he didn’t die at my hand, I’ll have to live with that forever. I thought that was bad enough. But then, in prison, when I couldn’t help those innocent boys…”
Maria’s heart ached. Jeff Bay was a good man. A truly good heart. “I know.”
“I felt I was inadequate in some way. That a better man could have intervened and stopped those atrocities.”
“Jeff, you are the best kind of man. You always were. You just lost your way a little. And though you’re a good man, you’re only one man. There was nothing you could do.”
He nodded, his eyes distant. “I realize that now. It will take some time to heal, but I’m ready to start the process.”
“We can find you a therapist. The best there is.”