I look up and lock eyes with Mallory, trying to clear away the pain, and I take a breath to help it pass. She knows what I’m thinking. She’s the only person I’ve ever told about that night.
“Your driver is out front, sir,” Captain says, breaking through the silence in the room.
I feel Captain beside me, and his hand slips into mine, fingers lacing with mine and locking his hold on me. His strength flows through me, and it gives me what I need. In this moment, I need to feel safe and I need to get the hell out of here. I have to face the shame at how I was once again paralyzed by my father. How can I possibly think that I can get my revenge on him when I can’t even face him?
Miles and Mallory walk out and slip into their limo. Captain looks down at Alexander and then pulls me toward the exit. I expected someone to call the police, but it looks like this happened so fast no one had a chance to see it. So instead, Alexander will lie unconscious on the ground until someone finds him and gets him out of there.
I follow Captain, letting him lead. Letting him take me wherever he wants to take me and not putting up a fight. Now is not the time for pushing away. When I feel myself being buckled up in the passenger seat of a car, I blink a few times. Captain shuts the passenger side door and goes around the car and gets in the driver’s seat.
There’s so much I’m feeling at the moment, but when he reaches over and places his hand in my lap, I grasp it eagerly.
“I’m not pregnant, Ryan. That test was for Mallory. I didn’t mean to lead you on about it?I liked winding you up. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” He’s making me feel so safe in this moment, and I want to give him something, even if it isn’t much. It’s all I really have to give him.
His fingers flex, and then he squeezes my hand. There’s a small pause after the words leave my mouth, and I start to worry that he’s angry with me.
“Thank you for telling me. It didn’t matter, though. I want you however I can have you.”
I look over and study his profile. His short blond hair, his hard chiseled jaw, his perfect nose and straight teeth. He’s so handsome, it makes my chest ache. Picking up his hand, I bring it to my lips and place a kiss on it. He smells like rosewood and fresh cotton, and I want to curl into it.
I watch the streetlights of New York City pass by as he drives away from my personal hell. I picture leaving all of it behind and starting over someplace new, where Captain is with me and we have no past, no history, just each other. But that isn’t reality. Life never seems to give me what I want.
Chapter Four
Paige
* * *
“THANK YOU FOR taking me home.” I look up at Captain, feeling a little unsteady. Even more unsure of myself. We didn’t speak another word on the car ride home. He’d followed me up to my apartment, one hand still locked with mine. I don’t want to let it go. It feels like the only thing holding me together right now and keeping other thoughts at bay, things I don’t want to think about right now. I want to focus on his hand in mine before it’s gone and I’m alone again.
He reaches into his pocket, leaning forward, and I think he’s going to kiss me, but I hear the lock behind me pop, and my front door swings open.
I’m not surprised he has a key. Probably has one to every door in the whole building. “I’m staying.” He pockets his keys and waits. My mouth falls open a little as I think about him coming inside. He’s being so forward, and a smile pulls at the corner of his mouth. “I don’t mean like that, kitten. Keep those claws in.”
The comment would normally make me snap back at him, but the smile on his lips and the softness in his eyes have me returning the small smile. As much as I try to say I dislike Captain for how perfect he can be, it’s one of the things that draws me to him. I know he likes me, but he’s never been crude about it. That’s not something I’m used to. Not with how I grew up, and not even in college. I’m pretty; I know that. But for some reason I’ve always attracted the assholes. Maybe it’s my attitude, but they seem to flock to me. The good ones never seemed to pay me much attention. Until him. And now, for the first time, a man has my attention.