But a seed of a thought formulated in her head. Perhaps there was a way she could be certain she wouldn’t get hurt again.
Chapter Twelve
Charlie let her mouth fallopen. “What did you say?” She sat on the couch with her sister, the two having moved back downstairs into Emily’s apartment. She’d given Charlie an extremely unemotional account of her morning. It included a surprise visit from Josh who’d asked to date her. After that, she described the awkward talk with Spencer—the first one since the disastrous night with Asher Denning. She gave a very unsatisfactory account of Spencer kissing her for the first time, without any juicy details whatsoever. And then she very matter-of-factly stated she’d decided it wouldn’t happen again.
“I said, I don’t think we should kiss any more. I think it’s not a good idea.”
“Why? Was he a bad kisser? Or did you decide you don’t like him after all.”
“No,” she said, looking down as her cheeks flushed. “It was pretty good. Maybe too good. I think that’s how I get in trouble. I get way too emotionally involved when things get physical. So, I think we should keep it platonic until it’s safer.”
“What do you mean? What’s safer?”
“I just don’t know about Spencer. He’s just a little too good at kissing. I guess he’s had lots of practice, but I don’t want to think about it. I’m not sure I can handle too much of that and still stick to my rules. And then there’s the unwritten rule we always told each other... Guard your heart. So I think we should just keep it platonic until it’s safer.”
“So, let me get this straight. Y’all are going to be in an official dating relationship, but you’re not going to kiss.”
“Yes. That’s the plan.”
“And Spencer is okay with this?”
“Well, I haven’t exactly told him, but I hinted at it.”
“So y’all haven’t had the define-the-relationship talk?”
“Not yet. Maybe we can talk after dinner tonight. Spencer cooks at his family’s house on Sundays. Tonight he’s grilling hamburgers. I said we’d both go—I hope that sounds okay to you?”
“Sure… But back to this plan of yours. When will your kissing hiatus be over? When will you trust him or yourself enough to kiss him? When you’re engaged? Or not until after you’re married?”
Emily’s face turned scarlet. “Ohmygosh! I don’t know. We’re not talking about getting married. He only kissed me this morning. I thought this could kind of be a test. He’s been with all these girls, and I don’t know how physical those relationships have been. So if that’s all he’s looking for from me, he’ll get tired of me pretty quickly. This will give him a chance to prove he likes me just for me and not for what he can get from me.”
“Not for what he can get from you? You mean like, he might date you so he can kiss you?”
“You know what I mean. I’m talking about more than kissing. But that’s what kissing leads to.”
“Sister... tsk, tsk. What does he have to do to prove himself? Let’s see. So far, he’s forgiven you for lying to him, saved your life, and then practically killed himself yesterday trying to save you again.”
“I know he’s done a lot for me and I don’t doubt he cares about me. But we still need to be careful about the physical stuff.”
“No doubt you need to be careful, but are you sure you don’t want to kiss at all?”
“I’m not saying I don’t want to—I’m saying it’s not a good idea.”
“Okay, let’s talk about something else. You’ve been criticizing Spencer all along for being a player. What about you? Are you through dating other guys?”
“There aren’t any other guys.”
“What about Asher and Josh?”
“Hey! You’re supposed to be on my side, Sister! I’ve already admitted Asher was a big mistake. He turned out to be a jerk—he left me passed out at the bar. And Josh—I never did anything to encourage him. I’m actually worried Spencer might think I’m interested in Josh, because I’m not. To be honest, I barely even noticed him or Brad when we were hiking.”
Charlie chuckled. “That doesn’t surprise me. You can be so unaware of your surroundings sometimes. You didn’t notice he was hot? Or that he had the hots for you? I knew right away, as soon as we met on the trail.”
“No, he caught me by surprise this morning when he said he wanted to see me again. But next time, if there is a next time, I’ll be ready for him. He obviously likes to be in control, and I don’t have the energy to fight for control all the time. Plus, he’s a player if I’ve ever seen one—and really arrogant. I imagine he’s used to girls falling all over him, especially being a doctor.”
“Sister, I’m still not sold on this no-kissing idea.”
“It’s not my idea. There’s a whole book about it.”