Her mother was crying. As Laurie walked toward the metro station Tuesday morning, she held the phone away from her ear so her mother’s sobs wouldn’t hurt her eardrums. She was tempted to hand her phone to the homeless man with the empty cup and a sign that read Vietnam Veteran and walk away.
Laurie couldn’t remember a time when her mother didn’t cry all the time. She did everything in her power to make her mom happy. She thought if she could grow taller or be thinner or do well enough in school, then her mother wouldn’t be so sad. Nothing worked. Only prescription medication made the crying stop. She also stopped laughing.
And Laurie knew exactly who was to blame... her father.
“I can’t believe you want anything to do with him, Mom. I’m not coming to visit if Tyrone’s going to be there.”
“Your father is a good man,” she sobbed. “He made some mistakes. You need to give him a chance to make it up to you. Everyone makes mistakes.”
“I know Tyrone made mistakes. I’m one of them.”
“He never called you a mistake.” Carmen sniffed a few times. “I promise he didn’t.”
“I think the fact he paid you hush money every month so he could deny my existence means he considers me a mistake.”
She wailed anew. “It wasn’t hush money. It was child support.”
Laurie had heard this argument before. “Are you kidding me? We had a thousand rules to follow to get that money. I’m surprised I didn’t have to live in a monastery overseas so no one would discover the great Tyrone Shields had an illegitimate daughter from an illicit affair.”
“You can’t blame this all on Tyrone.” Carmen’s voice grew a bit stronger, and Laurie wondered if she was faking the tears. “I’m the one who slept with him, knowing he was married.”
“Mom, you were seventeen—it was statutory rape!”
“It was three days before my birthday, and I lied about my age.”
“And that stupid lawyer told you not to press charges because you could never make it stick. But the truth was, he wanted his cut of the hush money.” Laurie paused at the top of the metro station escalator, knowing she’d lose her phone signal underground.
Her mother’s voice was rock steady. “The truth was I loved him. I loved him then, and I love him now.”
“I know you loved him.” Laurie’s voice cracked as she swiped tears off her face with her sleeve. A man coming out of the subway station gave her a sympathetic glance, and she glared at him until he blanched, hurrying away with his eyes averted. “No matter what he did, you always loved him. I know that, Mom. But I don’t love him. I never will. He’s not my father—he’s a sperm donor.”
“Why can’t you give him a chance?”
“I’m not discussing this anymore. If you love him so much, you can have him. I hope you’re very happy. I really do. But I don’t want to see him. I don’t want to talk to him. And I sure don’t want his money.”
“But Laurie, he’s a changed man. He knows he was wrong, and he only wants to make it up to you.”
“He’s a changed man, alright. He used to be a big-time pro football player with a proper wife and a perfect family. You and I were his dirty little secret. Even after he blew his knee and retired from football, he still wouldn’t acknowledge I existed. Then his wife left him, no doubt because he couldn’t keep his pants on. He has nobody left, so he’s come back to you as a last resort.”
When Carmen responded in a shaky voice, Laurie knew her tears were the real thing. Her words had injured her mother’s pride. “I prefer to think he came back to me because he realized he loved me. You can’t believe it, because you don’t think I’m good enough for him.”
“No, Mom. I don’t think he’s good enough for you.”
“If you won’t come here, I’ll come see you. Tell me where you’re living now.”
“I’m going to be late to work. I’ll talk to you later.”
Laurie disconnected before her mother could object. She wiped her face on her sleeve again, noting the black marks from smeared mascara.
Great. I’ve got raccoon eyes. I’ll wipe it all off when I get to work, before anyone sees me.
When Finn spied Laurie shuffling across the lobby with her head down, he knew something was wrong. Usually proud and confident, Laurie strode with her head held high, everywhere she went. To see her ducking her face from onlookers set off all kinds of alarms.
“Laurie!”
Yelling her name made him cough, of course, but it got her attention. She waited for him as he jogged toward her, weaving between the teaming employees. By the time he reached her, he wa
s short of breath like he’d spent an hour on the treadmill. Wheezing, he tried to come up with an excuse for chasing her down.