“Tell me about it.” Laurie took a drink of water and wiped her mouth with a napkin. “What am I going to do?”
“I have a suggestion, but you’re not going to like it.”
“You think I should talk to my father, don’t you? You’re right, I don’t want to hear it.”
“I’m not trying to excuse him, but I’m saying it could be worse. Think about Branson’s dad. He was always verbally and emotionally abusive to Bran. And thinking back on it, Bran’s pretty sure his dad was the same way to his mother, and that’s why she killed herself.”
Laurie’s eyes stung. “Stop it. You’re going to make me start crying again.” She fanned her face to dry the moisture in her eyes before it could spill.
“Again?”
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. These days, I cry at the drop of a hat.”
“Don’t cry about Branson and his dad. Bran’s come to terms with it. But I thought the comparison might help you put it into perspective.”
“I’m not saying my father is the worst human being in the world. But he refused to be associated with me or my mother for all those years, and I just accepted his money as a tradeoff, like I could be bought. He paid for everything—housing, food, cars, clothes, tuition. When I finally realized what I’d done, it made me feel cheap.”
Steph got a motherly look on her face—the one she wore when she was lecturing Ellie about something she’d done wrong.
“First of all, you were young when you took his money. You didn’t really have any choice until after college. After that, you got through grad school completely on your own, without taking a dime from him. You don’t have to prove anything anymore.”
“I changed my name so no one would ever associate me with him… so he would never find me. What am I supposed to do now? Show up at the wedding and pretend I’m still Laurie Shields?”
Stephanie shrugged. “I don’t know. But I think you should talk to him… hear what he has to say. You don’t have to forgive him or tell him anything about your life or your name or where you live or what you do. You don’t even have to agree to be in the wedding. In fact, if the two of you can’t find common ground, he won’t want you in the wedding. He’ll probably talk your mom into asking someone else—maybe your aunt.”
“I’ve been angry with him for so long.” Laurie closed her eyes, wishing she could lie down and sleep for the next four months and wake up when everything was over. “It’s all I know. It’s part of who I am.”
“That’s okay. I like who you are.” Stephanie poin
ted with her chopsticks.
“What if I have to forgive him? Then who will I be?”
“If you forgive him or don’t, nothing will change. You’ll still be Laurie Fields, the woman who helped me take care of Ellie while we worked our way through grad school together. The woman who would do anything in the world for a friend. The only woman I’d want to be a role model for Ellie.”
Cold air alerted her to the tears on her cheeks, and she dabbed her napkin under her eyes. “Darn it! Third time today.”
“Don’t worry. It just looks like you’ve got really thick liner under your eyes.” Stephanie grinned. She always seemed to know how to lighten the mood. “On a happy note, I haven’t seen anything about the upcoming wedding in the news. So maybe the media really has forgotten your father since he retired.”
“The sports reporters may not remember my dad, but they’re in love with my brother.”
“Who isn’t in love with your brother? He’s hot.” Stephanie wagged her eyebrows. “But don’t tell Branson I said that.”
“I think Bran’s pretty secure.” Laurie gave her a good eye-roll. “But Jerome’s on the cover of every magazine right now. There’s no way the reporters aren’t going to show up in droves at this wedding. That’s why I can’t be there.”
“Oh, I totally agree. If you go, it’s the end of your in-cog-ni-to existence. That’s one of my favorite words, you know—incognito. I’ve been waiting for a chance to use it.”
“Yeah, it’s an awesome word,” Laurie replied. “I’ve always liked nefarious.”
“I’ve been thinking about you and Jerome,” said Steph as she folded the lids closed on the cardboard containers. “If this wedding happens, whether you’re in it or not, you’re bound to see Jerome eventually. Maybe you should call and talk to him… if you think you can trust him.”
“It’s not a terrible idea, especially since I’m going to be out in LA, where he lives.”
“You should do it.”
“But I’ll be so busy.” She tried to imagine squeezing in a visit with her half-brother in the midst of the fundraiser preparations. “Plus, I don’t know if I can handle talking to Jerome about everything that’s happened. It’s possible he might be furious when he finds out what I did. I wish you could be there to give me some emotional support.”
“Me, too.” Steph reached across the table to touch Laurie’s hand. “I’d go in a heartbeat if it weren’t for the baby.”