He stood up and leaned forward over her desk, but she didn’t back down, meeting his glare with her own.
“Then why are you talking like an old man on his death bed? If you’re representing all those other people out there with cystic fibrosis who are fighting for their lives every day, you’d better start acting like it.”
“I’m only being realistic.” He jutted out his chin, his arms flailing with emotion. “The average lifespan for a person with CF—”
“Has absolutely nothing to do with how long you’re going to live.” She stood, her hands clenched. “Have you lived the rest of your life trying to do what the average person does?”
He blinked.
“Of course not. You set your goals way beyond what anyone could’ve expected. And then you surpassed them. All four of you did that. So why, all the sudden, when it comes to your life span, have you decided you can’t surpass the average? Huh? Answer me that?”
She raised her voice louder than she should’ve, and he answered in the same tone, “I’ll tell you why! Because I don’t want to make promises I can’t keep.” His shoulders sagged and his voice dropped. “I don’t want to let people down...”
“Well, right now, that’s exactly what you’re doing—letting me down—going on this stupid suicide plane trip.” She held on to the edge of her desk to steady herself as the room spun.
“It’s only a little risky.” His dimples flashed again. “I don’t really intend to die, you know.”
Closing her eyes, she inhaled deeply, holding her breath in a vain attempt to slow her racing heart.
I can’t believe I’m doing this.
“Send me your ticket details, so I can get on the same flight.” As her rubbery legs gave way, she sank into her chair. “Somebody has to take care of you, since you’re obviously not going to.”
Chapter 14
Saturday morning arrived despite Laurie’s prayers, dashing her hopes that the world would end so she wouldn’t have to get on a plane. Other than the absolute inability to keep anything in her stomach, she was doing better than expected. Luckily, she hadn’t even bothered with breakfast, so her rather frequent trips to the airport terminal bathroom resulted only in dry heaves. She wondered whether either of the sedatives she took stayed in her stomach long enough to have an effect. With her pulse racing about a hundred miles an hour, her best gues
s would be no.
But watching after Finn was turning out to be a full-time job and a terrific distraction. Though Cole might be the most recognizable face of Phantom Enterprises, Finn was a close second. Each time someone approached to ask for his autograph, he would pull his mask off his face in order to talk. Laurie always intervened, explaining that Finn needed the protection of his mask and a safe distance from any possible germs. But Finn often countermanded her orders, laughing off her protective measures. This didn’t set well with Laurie.
He agreed to wear disposable gloves and allowed her to disinfect all the surfaces he might touch while in the seating area. But he drew the line when she wanted him to use the family bathroom so she could disinfect everything before he went in. Only when he promised to wash his hands for five minutes with soap and water and follow up with hand sanitizer did she allow him to go inside the men’s room by himself.
Fussing over Finn’s safety distracted her from the terror lurking in her mind. Perhaps she could convert her strong attraction for him into a more motherly feeling. Fat chance!
As long as she fussed and fumed, she kept her fear at bay. But when Finn was finally sitting quietly in his seat, reading a book, with his navy-blue Cambridge mask properly protecting his nose and mouth, the reality of her situation folded over her like an avalanche of snow. In a few minutes, they would be asked to board the plane, and she still wasn’t certain she could actually do it.
With her blood pulsing in her ears, she had no idea what Finn was saying. His brows furrowed deeper, and he finally pulled his mask down to expose his lips. “Are you okay?”
“Sure. I’m fine.” Her voice sounded like she was standing inside a tunnel. “I didn’t get much sleep last night.”
Her statement was certainly true. She’d barely slept the last three nights since she’d made the airline reservation. Stephanie, true friend that she was, had researched online, exploring every possible method for dealing with aviophobia. Besides the prescription sedative, which was worthless when it didn’t remain in one’s stomach, they had settled on breathing exercises as being the most effective treatment. However, at the moment Laurie had forgotten to breathe slowly and found herself, instead, panting for air that seemed thinner by the second.
Hold your breath. She remembered Stephanie’s warning. When you start to panic, hold your breath.
She stuck her purse on the floor between her legs, sucked in a huge breath and bent over, pretending to search inside. When she couldn’t hold it any longer, she took another breath. Repeating the process, her dizziness finally subsided. When she straightened, she found Finn’s piercing blue eyes fixed on her, with obvious curiosity.
“Did you find what you were looking for?”
“Uhm… no. Guess I forgot to pack it.”
“What did you need? Maybe I have it. A pen? A protein bar?”
“It was… I was looking for… lip balm.”
“I have some.” His eyes lit up, obviously delighted to be helpful. When she started to object because of contamination, he pushed it into her hand. “You can have this one. I can always get another one later.”
Her relief that he bought her story far outweighed her guilt at the lie. She was way too embarrassed about her phobia to ever admit it to Finn. After all, she knew the statistics that verified flying to be the safest means of travel. Yet, data and common sense did nothing to calm the terror building in her head. If she could make it onto the plane, she could sit and quietly breathe into her paper bag. Finn hadn’t discovered until check-in that she’d booked herself a seat in the economy section rather than next to him in first class. Once the curtain was closed, he would never know she was panicking in the rear, as long as she kept it quiet.