“That could explain the one thing I haven’t quite been able to learn about empathy—how to turn it off. I got really good at blocking my pain instead of broadcasting it everywhere, especially at Kaevin. But I can’t seem to make the gift go away at will.”
The sound that emerged from Laethan’s throat could only be described as a growl. “You’ve been blocking your pain?”
“Well, most of the time.” She chewed her lip, flashing an apologetic glance to Kaevin, who had borne the brunt of her shared pain, both during the torture and the long, slow recovery. “I just imagine building a thick wall or being wrapped in a tight blanket. That seems to keep pain inside pretty well, although my emotions are a lot more leaky. I haven’t felt much pain since Raelene taught me to block it, after the... the incident with my father.”
“Bright!” Laethan leapt to his feet with an open-mouthed expression she compared to someone watching a horror movie. Beside her, Kaevin flinched at his outburst, but the Tenavae curse word didn’t bother Alora.
“Are you telling me you’ve felt no pain at all since the day of your torture at Vindrake’s hand? For moons?”
She couldn’t help being proud of her accomplishment, but she tried not to brag. “Yes. I couldn’t do that at first, not during the actual torture.”
She swallowed the last word, as a wave of remembered pain pulsed through her, threatening to spill out. Clutching Kaevin’s hand, she drew on the soulmate bond to push it back. It’s okay as long as I don’t do it too often. It was just so much easier than willing the power from another source. Confident she was once again under control, she boasted, “Once I learned I had the empathy gift, I used it so I wouldn’t feel any pain from the burns. But Raelene taught me how to draw my power from water, stone, and wood, instead of depleting the soulmate bond like I used to.”
Laethan stomped to her bedside, pushed Kaevin’s hand away, and clasped both of her hands in his. His expression was so fierce, with his bushy brows folded low over his eyes, she thought he might hit her. But what he actually did was much worse.
“I’m sorry, Alora. This is going to hurt.”
“What are you going to—” The words died on her lips as her breath left her in a scream. The burns on her arms flared back to life as if they’d never healed. On and on, the searing agony screeched through her nerve endings. She thought she heard Kaevin yelling something, but she was only aware of the focused pain radiating through her body.
Laethan dropped her hands and stepped back, panting, his face drenched with sweat.
“What did you do to her?” Kaevin demanded, stepping between them, using his body to block her from Laethan.
“I’m so sorry, but it must be done,” said Laethan, his voice hoarse as if he’d been screaming as well. Perhaps he had been. “Like emotions, pain is never meant to be captured and held inside. It will only grow more and more intense. It must come out. But you have stored so much pain.” He shook his head and swallowed hard. “So much pain.”
“Are you saying, after all she’s been through, she must experience all of that pain again?”
Her soulmate was on his feet, and he looked like he wanted to slash someone with his sword.
Laethan turned, directing his answer to Alora. She was amazed at how calm she felt as he pronounced her upcoming suffering. “There is no other way. You cannot keep it within, for it will smother you. And you cannot be rid of it without feeling it. When Kaevin shared the pain of your torture through your gift, he probably kept you alive. Sharing lessens the pain.”
“Please, don’t do it,” Kaevin pleaded. “She can’t bear it again. Let me feel it in her place.”
Laethan’s head was already shaking from side to side. “I was selfish and fainthearted to hide my gift once I realized Alora was gifted in empathy. But now I will do everything in my power to ease the recovery. I can accept some of the pain and lessen its sensation. My ability to perform that function is one of the reasons those with empathy must not be healers. One walks a fine line when sharing pain or life force with another. After one healer lost his mind and another died while treating a patient, it was forbidden.”
“I won’t allow it!” Kaevin swore. “There must be some other way!”
“No, Kaevin.” Alora reached out to touch his arm, sending a swell of serenity toward him. “Let Laethan do his thing. I’m not saying it didn’t hurt like Hades, but I feel better already.”
“And you and I will have many lessons, Alora.” Laethan punctuated his displeasure with crossed arms. “I know what you just did, and it will not do to use your gift to manipulate others, no matter how noble your intent. We must protect ourselves from the lure of evil that comes with such a practice.”
“What did she do?” asked Kaevin.
Alora kept her eyes averted. “Sorry, Kaevin. I was only trying to keep you calm.”
“The fault lies with me, Alora. For you did not know because you were not taught.”
Blowing out a long breath from puffed cheeks, Alora realized she had almost as much to unlearn as to learn.
“Kaevin, you should take your soulmate to find nourishment, and we will meet again after supper. Meanwhile, I must go make my confession.”
Laethan smoothed his hair, binding it with a leather tie. Bending to adjust the laces on his leather boots, he straightened, breathing in until his chest expanded. He surveyed the healing room with sad, longing eyes, before purposeful strides took him to the door, where he paused. “I promise to attend to your healing and training, though I may no longer be chief healer when we meet again.”
With that pronouncement, Laethan slipped through the door. The soft snap of its closing sounded ominous and final.
**************
Thalaena held out her palm, displaying the small, smooth stone. “It no longer seems effective. I wore it around my neck, just as you suggested. At first, I felt a great deal of energy—so much so that I couldn’t even sleep with it in place. But after only two days, I felt nothing at all.”