She went upstairs without either of them appearing to notice that she had gone. In the safety of her room she struggled with her conscience. She could burn this or she could give it to Ivo, show him the woman he loved in her true colours, finally open his eyes to her true nature.
But there was really no decision to make, she realised. There was all the difference in the world between giving up a man so he could marry the silly, pretty, love of his youth and hiding from him the proof that the woman he loved had ordered his beating and then lied about it.
A cold finger seemed to touch her as she looked at the note in her hand. Had Daphne really been innocent of her husband’s death or had she pushed him down those stairs? Was she a cold-hearted murderess or simply someone who hit out when she was frightened and cornered?
Whichever it was, she had no choice. She had to give him the note and then she had to go away, otherwise he could well conclude that she was waiting for him to propose again on the rebound from the shock.
Jane wrote a note, folded it around Daphne’s message and sealed it, then packed the few things she had taken from her portmanteau, put on her pelisse and bonnet and went quietly downstairs. One of the footmen was in the hall. ‘Call me a cab, please.’
When he came back she handed him the note and a coin. ‘Please give this to Lord Kendall in an hour’s time. Not before.’
Then she gave the driver Cousin Violet’s sister’s address and sat and watched as the carriage passed the Civet Cat alehouse. How many days since she had seen Ivo there and her life had changed for ever? The cab lurched and moved on and she tried to recall what Violet had said in her last letter. Everyone was well and healthy now, but she would remain for the rest of the week and be back in Batheaston just before the wedding.
Jane would not be imposing, she thought, and if she found that she was, then she would have to grit her teeth and move on to Aunt Hermione. Telling her that the wedding was cancelled would be...difficult. But not as difficult as learning to live with a broken heart, she supposed, bleakly.
Chapter Nineteen
Lady Harkness, Violet’s sister, was reclining on a sofa in her drawing room when Jane was admitted. Violet, who was sitting by her side, dropped
the book she had been reading aloud from and jumped to her feet.
‘Jane, what on earth is wrong? Althea, dear, this is Jane Newnham, our cousin.’
‘Lady Harkness. Cousin Althea, I mean.’ Jane dropped a small curtsy. ‘I do apologise for arriving unannounced like this, but I find myself stranded in London and I hoped Violet would assist me and that I might stay a few days. But if it is at all inconvenient I can go to Aunt Hermione.’
Lady Harkness straightened up and put her feet on the Aubusson carpet. ‘Nonsense, of course you must stay. Goodness, it must be all of fifteen years since I last saw you. Ring the bell, dear, and then come and sit down and tell us all about it.’
Jane did so, but she was still dubious. ‘Are you sure you are well enough for a visitor, Cousin?’ Neither were wearing black, so the baby must have survived, she realised with a surge of relief. ‘How is the little one?’
‘So much better, thank goodness. We were in the greatest anxiety, but after a few days little Caroline seemed to rally and the doctor is confident that she will thrive now. And I am ordered to lie around and rest, but I feel quite the impostor. Since Violet has been here I have felt able to cope with anything. And I would be delighted if you will stay.’
She smiled, but Jane thought Althea looked pale. She would accept the invitation, but perhaps she could help by taking over some of Violet’s tasks. ‘Thank you so much.’
‘But why do you need a refuge?’ Violet demanded when her sister had rung for the housekeeper and ordered a room to be prepared for the unexpected guest. ‘And what on earth are you doing in London?’
‘The wedding is to be cancelled. The woman Ivo loves, the one he should have married, is now a widow. I... I released him from our engagement.’
‘He accepted that?’ Violet sounded incredulous. ‘He is marrying her?’
‘No. I do not think he will. But her arrival seeking his aid made me realise that I could not marry a man who still loved another woman. I believe that he may now have discovered things about her character that will change his mind about her, but...’ She swallowed and made herself smile. ‘It is too late. I have made it clear that I would prefer not to marry him.’
The two sisters looked at each other, then Althea said, ‘Do be careful, Violet,’ as though they had been having a discussion.
‘Fiddlesticks,’ Violet retorted as she turned back to Jane. ‘Do you love him?’
‘Yes. That is why.’
‘Of course, I understand that,’ Violet said, surprising her. ‘If you both were settling for a convenient marriage based on a mutual liking and tolerance, that is one thing, but an unequal match with one party in love with someone else—even if they have been disillusioned about that person—that would be intolerable, I imagine. You would constantly fear comparisons and recoil from showing your feelings in case he pitied you, which would destroy whatever friendship and ease there was between you.’
‘Oh, yes, exactly that,’ Jane said. ‘You understand. I was beginning to think I was overreacting because I dislike Lady Meredith so much, but Ivo is too important to me to settle for second best.’
‘And perhaps you find yourself thinking less of him because he has fallen for someone like her?’ Althea asked.
Jane winced. ‘I suppose there is that thought niggling away at me. But she is so very lovely and men seem to be blinded by beauty.’
And I am no match for that.
‘And she is in distress and Ivo has a very protective nature.’ Although just how protective he would be feeling after reading that note was moot.