“See, all my contacts have pictures, and before, yours was just a little white bubble. Now there’s you. Well, a dark you, but still. It works.”
“It’s not safe for you out here tonight, krasotu.” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. But that doesn’t make them any less true.
“Why? Our backyard isn’t safe?” She looks around skeptically and then back to me.
I don’t know how to tell her that I’m the threat. That everything about her is pulling me in and I don’t know how much longer I can control myself. There is a need building, and I can feel the charged air around me grow still. There is only one way to stop this madness, and it’s to push her from me. I must put an end to the smiles she gifts me. I don’t want to hurt her, but I know my words will.
“You are a young woman, and you have no business being out this late. Your parents would disapprove, and as your security, I demand you leave here and go back to your room.” I stand up and take a step away from her.
The pain that flashes across her eyes is almost enough to break me. I open my mouth to take it all back, but she stands up and puts even more distance between us.
“Nobody asked you to come out here and tell me what to do. I was fine until you showed up.”
“That makes two of us, krasotu.”
She clenches her jaw, and I long to run my thumb across it, to ease the pain I’ve caused her and to tell her this is only to protect her, to protect the both of us. But I don’t. Instead I remain where I stand, begging her silently to run from me.
“Don’t call me that.” Her words are sharp as she turns and walks away. But halfway to the house, she looks back over her shoulder. She opens her mouth to speak but changes her mind.
I would give everything in my possession to undo what I just did. I have more money than most people dream of, but it means nothing to me. The only thing that matters is the light in Penelope’s eyes, and as she walked away I saw it fade. A piece of me wanted this to happen, knowing it was for the best. But the rest of me is screaming in agony.
As I walk from the fountain and back into the guest house, I think about the look on her face. The light in her eyes that I love had dimmed, but it wasn’t gone. It wasn’t finished. And as I get into bed and read our earlier text exchange, I know that I’m not, either.
Chapter Seven
Penelope
“What are you doing?” Pandora asks as she walks into her bedroom. She drops her bag on the floor and books spill out.
I’m running on her treadmill. Running always clears my mind, but today that doesn’t seem to be working. The hole that I’ve felt in my stomach won’t seem to close. I feel like I’m a ball of anxious nerves, and I don’t know what to do with any of it. I’m always the happy one. I never let anything get me down. But today sucked, and I can’t keep on the fake smile I’ve been rocking all day. I’ve tried to pretend Ivan’s words didn’t bother me, act like I didn’t let a man so easily take my heart and crack it.
“What does it look like I’m doing?” I snap. She raises her eyebrows and holds her hands up in a silent question. I know what she’s asking. She likes to run on the treadmill, and I love running outside. But going outside means I need to take my guard with me, and I’ve been avoiding Ivan all day as best I can.
When he was waiting to take me to school today I didn’t slide into the front seat. I went straight for the back, even sitting behind him so I couldn’t see him as well. So I couldn’t stare at his tattoos and trace them with my eyes. So I wouldn’t try to reach out and touch him. I didn’t say a word when I stepped past him into the school building. I remained quiet the whole time, which is very unlike me.
Though I did go look to see if he was at the bench today at lunch. He was, so I stayed inside and went to the cafeteria. Why was he at the bench? He’d made it clear last night that he was better off without me in his life and that he was fine before I entered it. I thought he liked me. It doesn’t make any sense. The worst part is that for some reason I thought this man would never hurt me. He’s a protector, but he let himself cause the harm. The ache still lingers strong with no signs of lessening.