But here it is, and I don’t want to let it go. I want to grab ahold of it.
He needs you, a voice inside me echoes.
Now I’m pulling him closer. I have a feeling Pandora was right. Ivan is dark, but I know I can be his light. I can feel it. I’m his other half.
“You two about done?” I hear Pandora yell next to us, making sure we can hear her over the music. The moment is jerked from us, and I look over at her.
Ivan doesn’t release me from his hold. “Net. I’ll never be done.” His Russian accent is thicker now, deeper than before. But he isn’t looking at Pandora when he says it. He’s looking right at me.
“Well, that’s great, Big, Dark and Tattooed, but we’re leaving,” she tells him. She grabs me by the hand to pull me, but Ivan still doesn’t let me go.
“Krasotu wants to dance. We will leave when she’s finished.” He finally looks over to Pandora, but then his eyes come back to me. “Krasotu, would you like to dance more?”
“Fucking shit,” I hear Pandora say.
“I want to go,” I tell him, hoping if we go that means the two of us get to be alone. I want his mouth back on mine.
“Then we go.” His hand slides into mine as he leads me from the club.
The crowd parts to make way for us. For Ivan actually. His big body moves through the swarm with purpose.
“I’ll call us a cab,” Pandora says.
“I’ll take you home.”
Pandora tries to fight with him, but Ivan challenges her. “I’m her guard.”
“Not for long, you won’t be. Wait until our mom finds out you’re trying to stick it to my sister. The only thing you’ll be guarding is your balls.”
Ivan shrugs like he doesn’t care for the safety of his balls.
“My sister will keep her mouth shut,” I half-growl at Pandora. I know she isn’t going to tattle, but she still glares at me. Clearly she’s not happy about what’s going down.
When we make it outside, he goes over to the valet and is handed his keys. He keeps his hand locked with mine as we walk over to a Porsche. He opens the passenger-side door for me and waits.
I glance over at Pandora, who’s standing there with her hands on her hips. “I’ll sit on your lap,” I tell her. She lets out a deep sigh and gets in the car. I slip in after her, sitting awkwardly on top of her legs. Ivan closes the door then goes around to the other side. I move a little so my back is more towards the door.
When Ivan gets in, he reaches over and pulls the seat belt over both my sister and me, clicking it into place. His hand comes up to brush my cheek for a soft touch before he cranks up the car and pulls away from the curb.
We ride in silence for a moment before Pandora breaks it.
“Fuck it,” she finally says, and I roll my eyes. “I’m just going to say it.”
Yeah, like she’s ever bitten her tongue when there’s something she wants to say.
“You’re no good for her. I know you see it. Look at her. She’s sweet and soft and all that shit. She’s like the freaking heart of our family. Hell, I bet you’ve even killed people before.” She snaps the last part, and the air in the car feels like it’s alive.
I watch something pass over Ivan’s face, and I hate it. I elbow Pandora, hitting her right in the ribs before I place my hand over Ivan’s, ignoring Pandora’s string of curses. He moves his thumb against mine as he welcomes my touch. His eyes stay on the road, but God I wish I could see them right now. I wonder how many other people have judged him all too quickly. Don’t they see the man underneath all the tattoos and scars?
“Do you hear her?” I tell him. Leaning more towards him, I say “She’s trying to tell you all the reasons we can’t be together. But I don’t care. Do you?” I reach up, rubbing the back of my fingers across the stubble on his face. I know if we really want to be together, my sister will be the least of our battles.
“If you want me, krasotu, I will forever be yours.” He says it so simply, as if I can have ownership over him. He leans into my hand.
“I want you,” I tell him. “All of you.” I watch tension leave his body. I smile at him, and for the first real time in my life I’m pissed at my sister.
“So, Taco Bell?” Pandora says.
I grit my teeth.
“Are you hungry?” Ivan asks, glancing over at me.
“I’m always hungry,” Pandora pipes in like he’s talking to her.