‘I…well…’
‘You can hardly protest that this is sudden,’ he said. ‘Not after our conversation at the races. I am not given to kissing young ladies to whom I am not about to declare myself, believe me.’
That was obvious, Julia thought, recalling that luke warm caress. ‘No, of course not,’ she agreed.
‘I have made up my mind and fixed my intention upon you, Julia,’ he said with the air of a man about to embark upon a well-conned speech. ‘I am convinced that the occasional irregularity of moral purpose, the impulsive lack of discretion that was obvious at the races and that I observed tonight is something that can be overcome and that you will make an excellent wife for a man of the cloth.’
For a moment, she was so taken aback that she gaped at him. ‘Lack of discretion? Tonight? What do you mean?’ True, she had inhaled lemonade and spluttered and choked, but that was hardly indicative of—what did he say?—irregularity of moral purpose.
‘I saw you, Julia,’ Thomas said, more in sorrow than in anger. ‘First you were flirting with the large officer with the whiskers and then you left the room with that rake Carlow.’
‘If you thought that I was engaged in an amorous encounter with Major Carlow,’ she said coldly, ‘then I am surprised you did not come to confront us. I told you that he and I are not… have not… Oh!’ She glared at him. ‘I am not conducting any sort of flirtation with Major Carlow or anyone else, and let that be the end of it. Either you believe me or you do not. And if you do not—’
‘Yes, I believe you,’ Thomas said hastily. ‘But, dearest Julia, it is in cum bent upon you to learn discretion. You will be the example to all the ladies of the parish, you must be above reproach in your be ha vi our.’
‘I have not yet said Yes,’ she pointed out. This was even worse than Charles Fordyce’s jealousy. Thomas would lecture her, would disapprove and would then forgive her for every little slip. Julia was suddenly utterly convinced that she could not bear to be constantly forgiven.
‘Yes, my dear, but you must see—’
‘I see only that we will not suit, Mr Smyth,’ she said firmly. ‘I thank you for your most flattering offer and your most Christian forgiveness, but I will not marry you.’
‘Julia!’ He took her arm as she lifted the curtain to step out. ‘Have you been toying with me? I did not think it of you.’
‘My intentions were most certainly not to toy with your affections, sir.’ She winced inwardly at the jolt to her conscience. She should have been stronger, clearer in her mind. She should have run every time she saw Hal Carlow, and erased him from her head and her heart. But it seemed she was not that strong. ‘I had thought that we would suit, but I thought I knew you better than it seems I do, and you have an image of me that is, perhaps, in ac cu rate. It is better that we find these things out now, is it not?’
‘I am sure it is.’ He bowed stiffly. ‘And it will be a lesson to me to be more careful in the future.’
Thomas thought her a flirt and a tease, she could see he did. And his crime had been to be dull and worthy and a little sanctimonious. Perhaps he was right about her. Julia pulled her arm free, pushed the curtain aside and almost ran from the alcove.
The buzz of conversation was louder in the room. As she hurried towards the exit, she heard snatches of conversation:…cross the Sambre, I have no doubt… Prussians will have to hold them…best to go to Antwerp now, by canal boat… God, I’m looking forward to this.
The last speaker stopped her in her tracks. He was one of a group of young infantry officers, their eyes alight with excitement as they argued and talked.
They want this fight, they want this great battle and the death and the glory and the blood shed, she thought, turning away, sick at heart. Thank goodness, there is the door, and no-one I know standing there. And instead of Mama being able to leave Brussels with the support of a future son-in-law, they must rely on the baron and their own wits. And somewhere to the south, Hal would be fighting. He could be wounded, killed perhaps. And somehow that would all be her fault too.
Julia ducked though the knot of people into the front hall. She could ask a footman to take a note to Lady Geraldine and call her a cab. If she stayed here a minute longer—
‘Yes, you’ll get your battle, Bredon, I’m sure of it.’ It was Hal talking to a slightly younger man in the scarlet coat and yellow reveres of one of the infantry regiments. There was a black mourning ribbon around his left arm. Brown haired, his face seemed made for laughter. Something about him reminded Julia of an eager hound.
They were all going to be killed, all the young men…
‘Miss Tresilian, what is wrong?’ Hal had seen her. Had the man eyes in the back of his head? Julia forced back the threatening tears and shook her head, unable to speak.
‘Rick.’ Hal turned to the young man. ‘Go and find Lady Geraldine Masters. Take her aside and tell her Miss Tresilian is unwell and I am putting her in a cab home. Discreetly now.’
‘Sir. As if it were my sister’s reputation.’ He flashed a smile at Julia and walked briskly off.
Julia took a deep breath and told herself she must be calm. Her nerves were in tatters, that was all. Her refusal of Thomas Smyth was a disaster, but there was nothing that would be helped by tears or the vapours or panic. At least she had the money Captain Grey had won for her at the races. That might pay for a few gowns, but it was no substitute for a husband. She managed to walk with composure to retrieve her wrap. When she turned back, Hal was at the door.
‘I have a cab. Come along, no-one is watching, just round this corner.’
‘Thank you.’ She let him help her in, then stared as he joined her and closed the door. ‘What are you doing?’ The horse set off at a walk in the opposite direction to home. ‘And where are we going?’
‘I am abducting you.’ Hal sat back, crossed one long leg over the other and regarded her gravely in the borrowed light from the street. Her alarm must have shown, for he relented and explained. ‘I have told the driver to walk round and round the Parc until told otherwise.’
‘Oh. Thank you.’ Abducting me indeed. If only he would! At least I would not have to make any decisions. ‘I suppose I ought not to go home until I have worked out what to say.’ Her mind felt curiously blank and rather bruised.
‘What has happened?’ Hal asked, his voice deep and soft in the shadows. ‘Who has upset you?’