Caroline realised it was her turn to be taken aback. Gabriel was smiling in a way that brought the blood to her cheeks, which must be why her heart was beating so erratically. ‘Are you certain?’ she demanded. ‘Why?’ And why do I know you are telling me the truth? Perhaps it was simply desperation or exhaustion and she was delusional, but she trusted Gabriel.
‘Possibly because I’ve never had to work so hard to get a woman into bed as I have today. If it had been anyone else I’d have given up hours ago.’ She frowned at his levity and he smiled. ‘I am teasing you. Marry me, Caroline. I admire your courage and your sense of honour. I think you’re beautiful. And I am driven to distraction by that garment.’
He admires me, thinks I’m beautiful? Can I believe him? ‘This?’ She plucked at the wrapper which was a discouraging shade of grey.
‘Any right-thinking man would want to burn it, which means taking it off first.’
I want him. He apparently wants me again. He is being scrupulous about this. And that put all the onus for a decision on her. Caroline took a deep breath. I ought to say no. But I am at least an eligible wife for him in rank and I know I will do my best to make the marriage work. ‘Yes.’
‘Yes, you will marry me knowing me as you do, having heard me warning you that I will not be the sort of husband you dreamed of?’ She nodded. ‘Yes to tonight?’
‘Yes to both.’ She got to her feet and walked past him, turned the key in the lock and then came to stand in front of the ottoman. It gave her the illusion, at least, of being in control.
‘You are nervous,’ Gabriel said, looking down to where the sagging hem was quivering just above her bare insteps.
‘I told you I was and I would wager so were you when you lost your virginity,’ she retorted. She had admitted that she desired him and he was probably far too experienced not to have realised it anyway, but instinct told her to hide how he made her feel, hide just how much she wanted him, not simply that rangy body. Somehow she had to retain some strength in this relationship.
His hands came to rest lightly either side of her waist, warm even through the flannel, then, when she stayed where she was, he tugged the ends of the sash so the robe fell open to reveal her equally chaste white cotton nightgown.
‘As for my virginity, the second time, yes, I was nervous. The first time I was so excited that I wasn’t thinking about anything. Not coherently. My father took me to a high-class brothel to be initiated into lovemaking, just as he selected the right tutors for us, bought us the right horses to learn on, sent us to the right teachers for fencing and shooting. Everything had to be perfect for his sons.’ She thought his voice took on a bitter edge. Then it was gone. ‘After he died I did the same for my brothers.’ He slid his hands under the robe to caress the curve of her hips through the cotton. ‘You are a very lovely shape. Classical.’
Caroline sorted her breathing out. ‘I am appalled at your father. How old were you?’
‘Fifteen.’ Gabriel pulled her a little closer, leant in to kiss the slight swell of her stomach.
‘That’s younger than Anthony! And you took your own brothers.’
‘We will worry about your baby brother’s education later.’ Gabriel was on his feet and her wrapper, somehow, was on the floor and so was his robe.
Under it he was naked.
There was silence, broken only by the sound of her breathing, which was not even, and his, which was not either. That was comforting. Slightly. They were standing so close that she could feel her nightgown brushing against his legs, the warmth of his bare flesh. And so close that it was surely safe to drop her gaze.
Or not. Bare chest, dark curling hair that did not conceal his nipples and that arrowed down over a flat, muscled stomach to his navel and...
Caroline had no idea what to do. But talking, especially when one was nervous, was easy. ‘I know about the mechanics of the act, of course. No young lady with access to a library, some knowledge of basic Latin, an enquiring mind and eyes to see men in tight evening breeches need be ignorant, exactly. And there was the night in the hermitage, of course. Only I was not quite prepared for...that.’
She made a wildly sweeping gesture and found her hand resting on Gabriel’s chest, her fingers in that intriguing hair. ‘Oh, it is soft. I wondered.’
‘Feel free,’ he said. ‘Explore. And don’t worry about that. We’ll get to him later. We have time now.’ He was amused, but not laughing at her, more inviting her to share a joke. Could lovemaking be fun then? He seemed so relaxed with her, as though he truly liked her, not just her body.
‘Him?’ She teased her fingertips into the curls, trailed a pattern into them, brushed his right nipple accidentally and stopped, fascinated as it hardened and puckered. She rolled it gently between her fingertips. ‘Yours do that, too?’
‘As you see.’
‘And him?’
‘It is definitely male. It has a mind of its own and is inclined to be unruly at the most awkward moments.’ Again she was aware that Gabriel’s breathing was not quite under control. ‘You may carry on exploring, you know.’
Above the waist was safe. That unruly male object could definitely be left for later. Much later. ‘You are very warm. And I did not expect your skin to be smooth.’ She tried to circle her fingers around his upper arm and realised just how muscled he was. ‘So hard underneath. And I can see the muscles. I’ve got some, I think that is from riding, but mine are smooth.’ She traced a finger down the arrow of hair and Gabriel sucked in his breath as she dipped her finger into his navel. ‘Am I talking too much?’
‘There are absolutely no rules, although you are wearing altogether too much clothing.’
‘I am shy. I told you that, too.’
Gabriel pulled her gently forward until her forehead rested on his chest. ‘You are beautiful and you are even more beautiful naked in my arms. How long is your hair, Lady Godiva? I have never seen it out of its plait and it will veil your blushes.’ His fingers were busy in it as he spoke, then he combed it out over her shoulders until it hung around her. ‘We may safely undo some of these buttons now.’
‘You are very good at undressing,’ Caroline said after a moment as the fiddly buttons yielded, one after another.