Moonlight And Mistletoe

Lady Broome was staring at her, stony faced, her wide blue eyes, so like Guy’s, fixed on Hester’s face. ‘Miss Lattimer? Late of Mount Street and the household of Colonel Sir John Norton?’

The floor seemed to shake under Hester’s feet and behind her she heard Maria’s gasp. She could not move her eyes from the accusing blue ones in front of her, could not look at Guy. But he said he knew-why did he not then speak?

The silence seemed to stretch on for minutes until Hester found her voice. ‘Yes, I did reside in Sir John’s house in Mount Street.’

‘

I thought I recognised the name,’ Lady Broome said grimly. ‘But I could not believe my brother would so debase the family name by offering marriage to a kept woman.’

‘What?’

Hester dragged her eyes away from her accuser and stammered, ‘You said you knew. I tried to tell you and you said you knew.’ Guy’s face was rigid, but there was something in his eyes that she did not recognise and which filled her with dread.

‘No, I did not know.’ he said softly, ‘and I did not guess.’

‘How should you have?’ Lady Broome demanded, her colour high. ‘I would never have suspected if my friend Mrs Norton had not pointed her out to me as the hussy who insinuated herself into the colonel’s home and his bed and caused such an estrangement between him and his family. Butter would not melt in her mouth to look at her.’

Hester kept her eyes fixed on Guy. To look away, to let herself listen to his sister, would be to let her world spin out of control, to shatter into nothing. If he did not trust her, then nothing mattered.

‘Hester-why? Tell me. Why were you his mistress?’

It seemed the worst had happened and somehow she was still standing there and the room was still as it was. But the shock and the pain were being replaced-no, she realised, not replaced, drowned-by a rush of anger so intense she thought for a moment she could not speak.

‘This is unjust, untrue!’ Miss Prudhome, red blotches disfiguring her sallow cheeks, took a step forward and confronted Lady Broome. ‘You do not know-’

‘Thank you, Maria, that will do! Kindly ring for Ackland. Lady Broome, you are correct, my living with Sir John did cause a rift with his family, which lasted until his death. Lord Buckland, while I was ready to lay before you the truth of my relationship with Colonel Norton, I am most certainly not now going to justify myself to a man who is prepared to protest his love for me, hut who does not trust me.’ The door opened and she cut across the words Guy was beginning to speak.

‘Ackland, please show Lady Broome and Lord Buckland out. I am not at home to either of them at any time in the future.’ Ignoring Guy’s hand outstretched to stop her, Hester swept out of the room, past a startled Jethro and up the stairs to her room. She shut the door and turned the key, leaning back against it until the muffled sounds from the hail below died away.

Someone was tapping on the door. ‘Hester dear, let me in.’

‘No. Maria, not now. Leave me alone.’

‘Please, Hester.’

Footsteps pattered off down the landing and all was silent again. So it had happened. She had been right to believe her happiness could not last, right to tell herself that she had no future other than as a single woman. He had believed what his sister had said; not even protested, only asked her flatly, why?

The anger that had taken her out of the room and had given her strength to climb the stairs ebbed as fast as it had come, leaving her legs unsteady. Hester sank down on to the bed, wondering that this pain could be as sharp, as physical as the pain of bereavement. But of course, it was a death, the death of love and trust.

Suddenly the tears came and she curled up on the bed and wept. Guy; oh, Guy, I love you, I do love you.

She must have fallen asleep. Several times there had been a scratching at the door, the soft, anxious voices of Susan and Maria, but she had buried her face in the damp pillow and shut them out. Now it was night. Hester sat up, pushing the hair back out of her face and looked around her. The room was full of a chill, pure light. Unsteadily she went to the chaise where she could look out at the moon, its full orb cut only by the merest sliver of darkness, it glowed cold and white and serene, touching the frosted darkness below with an edge of silver. So beautiful, so cold, so utterly uncaring. I love him, Hester murmured, resting her hand on the icy glass as though to touch the circle of white through the pane. He said he loved me, but he does not trust me and now he never can.

CHAPTER TWENTY

I am so sorry, but the shock of seeing her-and she must have recognised me as a friend of Anne Norton’s. Did you see the expression of guilt on her face when I walked in?’

‘I saw a woman who looked as though she had seen a ghost, not one who had a guilty secret.’ Guy held the front door open for Georgy and shut his lips tight as Parrott came forward to take their coats. ‘We will be in the library, Parrott, and do not wish to be disturbed.’

He shut the door behind them and leaned back against it, unconsciously echoing Hester’s own movements. ‘I am a bloody fool.’ This was hurting, damnably, but it was hurting Hester a sight more, of that he was certain.

‘You cannot blame yourself for being taken in.’ His sister, a handsome woman in her mid-thirties, came and took his arm, urging him towards a chair. Guy cooperated, too intent on his thoughts to resist. ‘She looks so respectable, so well bred.’

‘I was not taken in, and she is all you have just said. I should learn to think before I speak. Georgy, I have kissed her, held her in my arms, and if Hester Lattimer is not a virgin then I am the Prince Regent.’ He had made his sister blush, he saw with a kind of bitter amusement.

‘But perhaps she is a very good actress. Mrs Norton said-’

‘How well do you know Mrs Norton?’