‘No. You’ll do as I say?’
She ignored the question. ‘Who are you?’
He met her eyes, his shuttered. ‘Nathan Stanier.’
‘You are still in the navy, aren’t you?’ Please say yes, please tell me that I can believe in you.
‘I’m working with them. I’ve told you all you need to know.’ He hesitated. ‘If anything happens and I’m…not around, go to Street. He’s the best of a bad bunch.’
The cold seemed to sink down from the crown of her head to her toes, despite the heat. ‘You mean, if you are killed?’
‘It is going to get confused. I might not be in the right place at the right time, that’s all.’
‘How can you fight with your back in that state?’ she asked through tight lips.
‘I shall endeavour to use a pistol and not engage in any stren
uous hand-to-hand combat,’ Nathan said lightly, as though they were discussing a friendly fencing match and not a pitched battle with murderous pirates.
‘Nathan.’ She had to say this now, in this moment of stillness before the storm, or she might never have the opportunity to say it again. Something in her tone reached him, his eyes narrowed on her face. ‘Nathan, I am sorry I did not trust you at first. I do now.’ Somehow, she couldn’t say the other thing, utter the three words that filled her heart. She did not have the courage.
But he knew there was something behind her sudden admission, even if he did not understand it. He kept his face under control with an effort that was visible to her, but Clemence had no way of telling what emotion he was concealing.
‘Clemence, you are very young,’ he began and her heart sank. ‘What you think about me is…confused.’
‘I had to start growing up extremely fast the day my father died,’ she countered. ‘I know what I feel. It took me some time to trust you—and you didn’t help!—but I liked you, almost from the start.’
‘We have been thrown together, intimately. You have come to rely on me. It is not so very surprising that you think you may—’ He searched for a phrase. ‘That you have come to like me more than is wise,’ he persisted patiently.
He did guess she felt more than liking for him. A wave of humiliating heat swept over her. Perhaps he even thought she had formed a tendre for him. ‘I didn’t say I liked you too well,’ she said with an attempt at hauteur, but knowing that she was blushing furiously. ‘Goodness, I know you are a rogue, navy or not, and your life must be full of loose women. I’m not such an idiot that I’d think you wanted me, or anything like that.’ Oh, Lord, how did I get into this muddle? ‘You think I’m an annoying brat, even if you do want to kiss me occasionally, but I expect that’s just being male.’ She stopped. ‘I just wanted you to know I do trust you.’
‘I see.’ Nathan studied her flushed face. ‘What has changed?’
‘I don’t know. I shouldn’t trust you, even now. You won’t tell me what you really are.’
He grimaced. ‘I tell you what it is safe for you to know. And you are right, men want to kiss pretty girls, it is one of the failings of the sex. And I think you are a handful, although I don’t think I’d describe you as a brat. You don’t have to make declarations of trust, Clem, I’ll do my best to get you out of this, and, when I do, we’ll see what the Governor can do to make things right.’
She shook her head, not at all comforted by the thought of the Governor’s assistance.
‘Try not to worry—if he cannot hush this up, then I’ll marry you. I don’t think I’m much of a bargain, but marriage to me is probably better than life as a ruined woman.’
‘Marry you?’ A bucket of cold sea water wouldn’t be much more of a slap in the face. Clemence bit her lip and struggled to preserve some dignity after that comprehensively well-meaning and damning proposal. She had told him she trusted him, against reason, and he thought she was asking him to take care of her when all this was over. And, of course, that meant marriage, so the wretched man was being noble about it.
‘Thank you, Mr Stanier, but no. I doubt a young lady could expect a less romantic offer of marriage. I told you that I trusted you, not that I was looking for a husband. Please be assured that I will not put you to the trouble; I would walk the streets of Kingston, rather, than marry a man like you.’
‘Clemence, damn it—’
She ducked away from his outstretched hand. ‘Excuse me, I’ll just go and check I know where all the weapon chests are below deck.’ And find a corner in the dark to have a good weep.
‘Clem!’
She ran. Behind her she heard McTiernan. ‘Mr Stanier! When you have quite finished failing to control that boy, perhaps you would be so good as to join us?’
Chapter Eleven
Nathan was still cursing himself hours later when he went down to the cabin to snatch a few hours’ sleep. The pain in his back as he eased cautiously down to lie on his stomach on the bunk was an almost welcome distraction. From across the cabin came the sound of Clemence attempting to breathe as though she were asleep and not lying there confused and wounded by his tactlessness.
A demon of temptation whispered that he should go over there, take her in his arms and make love to her. His conscience told him that doing that could only make things worse; besides, he was in no fit state to make love to a virgin as she deserved to be loved. Which thought produced the inevitably uncomfortable result.