‘No.’ Does it not tell you something? she wanted to ask him, but that was impossible without saying that she loved him, spoiling their last hours together with regret and embarrassment and pity. Instead she smiled and lifted her hand and touched his lips lightly, then bent to pick up the coat. ‘Take this, I must go below.’ And she ducked under his arm and down the steps before the tears had a chance to show.
That was a mistake, Nathan told himself, shrugging back into the coat and not even attempting to pretend to himself that he was not burying his nose in the lapels to drink in the perfume of sleepy woman. A mistake and an indulgence, but also another memory of Clemence that he could store and bring out on some long, lonely watch to warm himself with.
He was conscious of another, bulkier figure close by and turned to see Melville leaning on the rail beside him, his telescope on the small sailing boat beating out to meet them. ‘That’s flying the ensign, they’ll have been on watch for us from the harbour battery and will be bringing orders, I’ve no doubt.’
‘I thought you were making for Portsmouth.’ Nathan realised he had thought no further ahead than landfall. His own orders were to report to the Admiralty in Whitehall.
‘Aye. I hope they haven’t changed that and we’ve got to beat round to Chatham.’
The lieutenant scrambling on board with the oilcloth-wrapped packet of orders saluted smartly. ‘The admiral’s compliments, Captain Melville. If you would be so good as to proceed to Chatham with all speed.’
Melville caught Nathan’s eye, but made no comment other than to thank the man and take the orders. Clemence, Eliza at her side, came back up on deck. The maid looked miserable, hunched in her layers of clothes as her eyes fixed hopefully on the shore, and Clemence looked paler, more weary than she had when she had left him just a little while before. As Nathan watched, Clemence put her arm around Eliza’s shoulders and hugged her to her side.
‘Are you both all right?’ he asked.
‘Tired and cold and impatient,’ Clemence admitted with a rueful smile. ‘Seeing land and not being able to disembark brings it home how long we have been on this ship.’
And now they would have the delay while they sailed along the entire south coast, round into the Thames estuary. He walked back to Melville. ‘We could put the women off here, send them back in the boat with the lieutenant.’
‘What, by themselves?’ Melville looked across. ‘Although they do look as though they would like to get ashore, I must admit.’
‘I’ll go with them. I can find them a respectable lodging, discover where Miss Ravenhurst’s aunt is, send her off in a hired chaise and post up to London myself. My orders are to report to the Admiralty, not stick to the Orion.’
‘True enough. And you won’t be much later, if at all, that way. Lieutenant! Hold hard there.’ He strode away across the deck, leaving Nathan to speak to Clemence.
‘Would you like to go ashore here at Weymouth, now?’
‘Now?’ Clemence blinked at him.
‘It is that or stay on board until we reach Chatham. Better to land now.’ She was looking doubtful, daunted no doubt by the thought of coping alone in a strange country. ‘I’ll come, too,’ he added. ‘I can find you lodgings and organise a post chaise to take you to your aunt.’
‘But your orders?’
‘This will probably be faster,’ he said. ‘The roads are a little different from what you are used to and I can be in London in hours from here.’
‘Then if it is not an inconvenience to you, I would be most grateful, thank you.’ She said it with cool good manners, a remote young lady, no longer the warm soft creature, half-tumbled from sleep, responsive in his arms. She was wise, no doubt, to distance herself like this. When he had kissed her, when she had responded to him, they had expected to be parted within hours. Now it could be a day or two.
‘You had better hurry and pack, I’ll send some men down to carry your things on deck.’ Even Eliza roused herself at that, hurrying below to leave him to explain to the lieutenant that he was returning with three passengers, a pile of luggage and a cantankerous old hound.
Nathan stood for a minute, contemplating what he had just let himself in for. But she was tired and anxious and needed to be with her new family; to make her endure any more time, within sight of land yet in limbo, was too cruel. He just needed to extend the self-control he had been exercising for a little longer. No doubt it was good for his soul, Nathan thought with a wry smile as he followed the women and went to fetch his belongings.
Clemence clutched the rail of the skiff with one hand and her hat with the other and squinted against the stiff breeze. ‘What a fabulous beach!’ Golden sand arced around a wide bay before the coast lifted into cliffs and the wide expanse was dotted with figures and strange small huts.
‘See the bathing machines?’ Nathan stood at her elbow, his fingers clenched in One-Eye’s collar. ‘You could go for a swim.’
‘No, thank you! I can recall everything you told me about flannel bathing dresses and large women who dunk you under.’ And although the beach might be golden, the sea was grey and cold and there were no palm trees waving in a warm breeze. She shivered. This cool foreign land was home now so she’d better get used to it.
They were into the harbour channel now, steep slopes crowned with fortifications to the left, the busy quayside to the right. Clemence craned to see while Eliza at her side was wide-eyed. ‘It’s so different, Miss Clemence, so square and grey.’
Nathan was talking to the lieutenant who had brought the orders out to them. ‘The Golden Lion? Remember, I have ladies with me—is it respectable?’
‘Eminently, the senior officers always lodge there with their wives. And you can hire post chaises from them.’
Clemence felt she should take a hand in the decisions being made, assert herself and not rely upon Nathan. Soon, very soon, he would be gone and she must learn to manage. ‘That sounds perfectly satisfactory, thank you.’ Then a thought struck her. ‘Nathan,’ she whispered. ‘I have no money!’
‘Here.’ He opened his pocket book and handed her some unfamiliar bank notes. ‘This is the change from the one hundred guineas Melville drew against our official expenses. I am sure your aunt will be able to arrange to have it repaid to him.’
‘Thank you.’ She took the money and folded it carefully into her reticule, relieved that she was not having to borrow it from Nathan. How expensive would the inn be and how long would they have to stay? What if…? Clemence drew a deep steadying breath and told herself to stop worrying. She could cope, of course she could.