Alien and the Wedding Planner

Alana held her hands up in surrender. “Maybe if you offer them money for a rush appointment…”

“I thought you would be an expert in bringing two people together.” Ice crossed his arms and looked as frustrated as Alana felt. “But you’re not?”

“Not exactly. I mean, I am for one day. A wedding should be the happiest of days and one to remember forever. I’m good at making the event unforgettable and exactly what a couple wants. Hopefully that helps cement the relationship and gets the marriage off on the right foot.”

Ice and Storm glanced at each other, their faces brightening. “Then I think you can help us, Alana,” Ice said.

What did she have to lose? She didn’t have anything pressing to do, so she guessed she could humor them for a little while. And maybe if they worked everything out she’d get to plan their wedding after all.

Ice leaned forward in his chair. “What is it that makes two people want to be together?”

His light, silvery eyes held her attention. She’d never seen anyone who looked quite like him, or had the presence he did. She wished she had better answers for him, because she really wanted to see him smile, pleased with her response. But all she could do was shrug.

“I wish I knew. I’ve never had much luck in that department. But once two people find each other and decide to get married, I know what makes the wedding a wonderful memory for the couple.”

“And that is?”

Alana stood and walked around her desk to prop herself on the corner of it, nearest him. “It’s about feeling special, like the two of you are the only people in the world who matter for just that one day. For most brides, the wedding is the only day they get to dress and feel truly like a princess. But for you two, I suppose it’s about feeling like you’re each a prince who has found his perfect match.”

Storm straightened in his chair as if she’d said something insulting. Ice leaned toward him. “What’s the matter with you?” he whispered.

Storm shot daggers at Alana with a look and whispered back, “I am a warrior. Not a prince.”

Ice frowned and turned back to her. “Go on.”

“I didn’t mean to insult you by saying prince, but the concept is the same no matter who’s getting married. It’s a day you want to feel special, even magical.”

Ice dug into his bag. “We’ve purchased some instructional materials, but there’s no replacement for conversation and interaction.” He held up a DVD and a couple of books. “These may prove useful once we have time to study them, but I’d appreciate it if you could tell us which ones are the best, as well as answer more of my questions.”

Alana held up the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. “I’ve heard a lot of people talk about this book, but I’ve never read it.”

“I’m not sure how useful it will be for us, as we’re neither Martians or Venusians, but the clerk at the store highly recommended it.”

Alana chuckled. Ice wasn’t like anyone she’d ever met. His regal presence and seriousness were strangely charming. Storm frowned at that book and opened his mouth to speak, but when Ice glared at him, he closed it. His eyes were the same clear, almost transparent blue as Ice’s, but the hardness, and maybe even a sadness, in them was different. When he said he was a warrior, maybe he meant in the Crimean army? Alana was sure he’d been through things that Ice hadn’t, things that had hardened him.

The DVD was a porn-ish parody of a blockbuster film, and to Alana’s surprise, it was hetero porn. She lifted her eyes to meet Ice’s. “Seriously?”

“I don’t understand,” he said innocently.

The other book was a steamy BDSM bodice-ripper, the kind she might have read if she wanted to spend a little time in her bed with a battery-operated boyfriend. “Are all your books and DVDs like these?”

Ice offered up his bag, and yes, they were all like that. The Mars/Venus book was the only actual relationship advice book in there. The rest ranged from Harlequin-type category romance to out-and-out erotica.

“I’m not sure any of this is going to tell you what draws two people together or keeps them in love, frankly. You might learn some things about sex, but—”

“Sex!” Ice exclaimed exuberantly. “That’s exactly it. We need to know what makes two people want to have sex and procreate.”

She dropped the books and DVDs back into the bag. This had to be an elaborate joke. “People want to have sex for all sorts of reasons, and it often doesn’t involve procreation.”

“Tell me more,” he said, almost breathlessly.

A chirping sound drew the men’s attention. Storm wore something that looked like an Apple watch knock-off. He stared at the little screen intently. His lifted his head and his facial expression blanked for a moment before shot to his feet. “Sir, we have to go.”

“What is it? We’re finally getting the information we need.”

“The ship has uncloaked, sir.” He then leaned close and whispered in a guttural-sounding language.

The ship has uncloaked, sir? So this was some sort of a cosplay. They were probably pretending to be new to Earth, asking her questions in character for some kind of fandom challenge or contest. She might have done something like that for fun when she was younger, but these two were probably close to her age, so it annoyed her. Gimme a break.