Private Practice (Private Pleasures 1)

“But…Melody?”

Roger offered a pained smile. “Yes, she knows. Knew before I did, actually. She asked me a couple years ago if maybe I was gay. I didn’t want to be, and I didn’t want to let her go, so I told her no. But when I moved home earlier this year, I couldn’t hide from the truth anymore. I missed Doug so much, even though we never…I mean, I was engaged to Melody and I always honored our commitment, in body if not in heart. She saw my misery, though, and for obvious reasons our relationship wasn’t exactly her dream come true either. So I finally opened up to her about everything. We talked, cried, promised we’d always be friends, and then we called off our engagement.”

His eyes glistened as he talked, and Ellie got an instant picture of how painful the last few months had been for him. And Melody. God, she owed Melody a huge apology for misunderstanding her reaction. All she’d been trying to do was prevent Ellie from embarrassing herself.

This is what you get for eavesdropping, her conscience chimed in, reminding her why she’d hatched the whole insane plan in the first place. “When I got back into town, one of the first things I heard, well, overheard technically, was that you two broke up because you wanted a high-adventure sex life and Melody didn’t.”

“Yeah, the story was Mel’s idea. We both knew the news of our broken engagement would cause a rustle in the local grapevine. After a ten-year engagement, an explanation like ‘It just didn’t work out’ doesn’t quite satisfy people. She thought spreading the rumor about my wild, insatiable sexual appetites would distract the rumor mill and help me keep the real reason under wraps. I’m truly sorry, Ellie. I never dreamed you had any romantic interest in me, or I would have been honest with you right away.”

“Don’t apologize. I had the truth staring me in the face and chose not to see it because I was too busy chasing a fairy tale.”

“Now I don’t understand.”

“It’s hard to explain, even to myself, but I created an idealized image of you in my mind, based strictly on my needs, and I wouldn’t let little things like reality intrude. I thought if you and I fell in love, we’d live happily ever after and…poof…all the frustrations and disappointments in my life would magically disappear. You come from such a perfect, loving family, and I wanted to be part of one so badly, I put together an elaborate scheme to win you. I tried to change myself into your fantasy woman.”

“Sweetie.” He rubbed her arm. “My family isn’t perfect. We’re no prize. One of the reasons I’m paranoid about news of my being gay leaking is because I’m pretty sure Dad would have a coronary. Mom would go straight to Bluelick Baptist and pray. I’m too much of a coward to tell them the truth, but I’m too selfish to stay here pretending to be something I’m not. Instead, I’ll disappoint them by moving back to New York, and they’ll never understand why. They’ll think I rejected their love and everything they worked so hard to give me, when in reality, I don’t deserve it.”

She took his hands and waited until his tortured eyes locked on hers. “You deserve the things they want to give you, including their love. You’re a good son, a talented lawyer, and a compassionate person. But you’re also an adult, entitled to lead your own life. Lead it honestly and proudly. Tell your folks. Their reaction might surprise you. But more importantly, you’ll respect yourself.”

He blinked hard and swallowed. “You sound just like Melody.”

“Melody’s awfully smart.” Ellie squeezed his arm and then rose.

Roger rose as well and followed her to the front door. He paused at the threshold. “There’s something I’m curious about.”

“What’s that?”

“You thought Melody and I broke up because I wanted, as you put it, a high-adventure sex life, and you decided to turn yourself into the kind of woman who could deliver high adventure. I’m wondering exactly how you went about that?”

She winced. “Believe me, it wasn’t easy. I had a lot to learn.” Tyler’s sexy grin popped into her head.

“Was visiting Slap & Tickle with Tyler part of the learning curve, by any chance?”

Heat swept into her cheeks. “Yes. Poor Tyler. I made him give me lessons on how to drive a man wild.”

Roger’s eyes widened and then he fanned his face. “When you come up with a plan, you don’t mess around, do you? Go straight to the hottest guy in town and say, ‘Show me the ropes!’”

He looked so astounded and impressed she had to laugh. “Yeah, I’m a real class act.”

“Class-schmass. If I was single and could think of a way to convince Tyler to show me the ropes, I’d do it in a heartbeat. But, unfortunately, he’s not into me, so he’d find a charming way to turn me down, because under the cocky exterior, he’s a decent, fundamentally good guy.”

He was all of those things and much more. She couldn’t deny the truth anymore…she loved him. But Saturday night, when her feelings had bubbled to the surface, she’d run away like a scared little girl, hell-bent on chasing her fairy tale instead of taking a real-life risk on happily ever after.

“Interestingly,” Roger went on, “he didn’t turn you down, so I’m guessing he is into you.”

“I don’t know.” Making guesses about Tyler’s motives caused a flood of guilt and anxiety. She prayed his offer to talk still stood.

Roger grinned, a little mischievously. “He showed you the ropes, didn’t he?”

She couldn’t suppress a smile. “He sure did.”

“Now you’re just bragging, so I’m going to take off. Thanks for being so understanding. I hope we’re still friends.”

“Absolutely.” Framed by the doorway, she rose onto her tiptoes and hugged him. He hugged back, wrapping his big arms around her and pulling her close.

“Give me one of those ‘show me the ropes’ kisses, Sparky,” he whispered. “It’s the closest I’ll ever come to kissing Tyler.”

Laughing, she cupped Roger’s cheeks, stared into his magnificent blue eyes, and planted a big, fat kiss on his lips. Good-bye, handsome prince. He swept her into a dramatic dip. She squealed and held onto him.