Light Her Fire (Private Pleasures 2)

“That’s not what I was trying to imply.” He raised his beer, swallowed, and she watched his Adam’s apple bob in his throat. She found the vulnerable area in his otherwise rock-solid body strangely alluring. “It’s just not a good fit.”

Exactly the kind of answer a man offered when he’d made up his mind but didn’t want to have to justify the decision. For whatever reason, she felt compelled to stick up for her hometown. “Give Bluelick a chance instead of writing us off as small and dull. We have a rich history, natural beauty, no traffic, pollution, or crime to speak of…all the charm and friendliness of a small town. But we’re not in the sticks, you know. Lexington is only forty minutes away, and Cincinnati just a few hours more. You won’t find a better place to settle down and raise a family. I love it here. I honestly can’t imagine living anywhere else. I’d never want to.”

“It’s your home, and that’s an important concept for some people. I’m more about the opportunity. Bluelick presented an important one for me at this stage in my career, but I’m not ready to top out just yet. Heading up the Bluelick FD is not where I see myself in five years.”

So much for selling him on Bluelick. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Another one?”

“Yes. Why do you call me Bluelick?”

A baffled expression drifted across his face. “Weren’t you Miss Bluelick?”

“Um…yeah…my senior year of high school. I hardly consider the crown and sash my life’s defining accomplishment. At least I hope not, but my real point is, you don’t sound as if you think too much of this town. And you’ve given me the nickname. Should I be insulted?”

He placed his fork on his plate and met her stare. “I call you Bluelick because, to me, you’re the best damn thing about this place. Something tells me I’d feel the same way no matter where we’d met. Your nickname could have just as easily been London, or Paris, or Cincinnati.”

The statement made her laugh. “You might be the only person on earth to mention London, Paris, and Cincinnati, Ohio, in the same breath. I know you love Cinci, but—”

“Love’s a strong word. We moved there when I was fourteen, and yeah, there are people and places I miss, but I’m not desperate to move back. Opportunity factors as much as anything, and there was no opportunity there.”

“Oh my God.” She barely stopped herself from pointing at him with her fork. “You sound just like Roger.”

“How so?”

“He grew up here, of course, and then went to school in Manhattan, then did some time in DC, and now he’s back in Bluelick. He can spout lots and lots of reasons why none of those places is a good fit. Bluelick’s too small and doesn’t offer him the kind of challenges he trained for. DC is much too political. New York is perfect, except it’s too far away from his family. Between all his preferences and requirements, he’s fixed things so he can never be happy.”

“Hey, I’m not saying I’m unhappy. I’m just…not ready to stake a claim to any particular place right yet. I don’t know Roger, but if he is unhappy, I find it interesting he’s chosen to be unhappy right here. Near you.”

“I have a suspicion he’ll move back to New York before too long. He’s talked to me about it.”

“Trying to convince you to rethink your ‘I’d never want to live anywhere else’ position?”

“God, no.” Clumsy, Melody. Now he thinks you and Roger broke up because Roger wants to move to New York and you don’t. She couldn’t hold back a brittle laugh. “The whole time we were engaged he never asked me to make a move with him, and he’s not about to start now. After finishing his JD/MBA, instead of coming home like we planned, he sprang it on me he’d accepted an internship in Washington. A lot of women might have expected that bit of news to come with a wedding ring and an apartment in Georgetown, but I got a shiny new car and a request I drive up to see him whenever we could line up our weekends. We kept that up for years. Now granted, we talked on the phone almost every day, but still, trust me, Roger has not suddenly decided life in New York would be perfect with me in it. Perish the thought.”

“You wouldn’t want to go, anyway.”

“I wouldn’t. I grew up here. My family is here, and most important, I’m happy here. In retrospect, I’m just as glad I didn’t make a move. One mistake I avoided. Roger and I weren’t meant to be, and changing locations doesn’t change that fundamental fact.”

“What would?”

“Nothing.”

“Really? I can’t help but be curious, because I heard you two split over his—”

“I know what you heard.” Hadn’t she gone to the trouble of spreading the whole stupid rumor about their incompatible sexual appetites? A couple of high school sweethearts didn’t end an engagement in a town like Bluelick without generating some gossip. At the time, the story had seemed like a good way to prune a grapevine already growing a few tendrils of speculation about Roger’s sexual orientation, and she really hadn’t cared if she came off looking a bit prudish. Now, however, she bristled. “I’ve already told you not to believe everything you hear. Our breakup was not the result of inflexibility on my part. It wasn’t my choice, at least not the way you think. He’s…” She snapped her mouth closed. Jeez, she’d almost blurted out the truth.

“He’s what?” Josh leaned back in the booth and crossed his arms. “This is where you explain it’s all his fault, right?”

His cynical smile put her mouth back in gear. “No. Fault isn’t the issue, but if it must be assigned, I’ll own my share. Here’s the thing—people talk about how relationships require give and take, and putting your partner’s needs ahead of your own at times, but they’re less likely to warn you there’s such a thing as compromising too much, and sacrificing too much. Once you’ve invested to a certain point, you feel like an idiot if you don’t see it through. You lose sight of common sense. I learned those lessons the hard way. I plan to keep my personal life very, very casual for a while. I’m not getting seriously involved again unless everything fal

ls into place simply and easily. When a relationship takes too much compromise and sacrifice, that’s a red flag—it’s doomed.”

Silence followed her observation. She shut her mouth and quickly replayed the conversation—no, diatribe—in her head. Call the bellboy, because she’d just unloaded every single piece of her emotional baggage right there in front of the poor man. He must have been really hungry. Nothing else explained why he hadn’t run for the door. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bore you with…all this. I’m the last person who should be spouting relationship advice.”

“Bluelick, you never bore me. Dessert?”

Probably not—at least not the dessert she’d assumed was on the menu when he’d arrived at her door tonight. Clearly he wasn’t in a hurry to get her alone anymore. The greasy weight of chicken-fried chicken smothered in disappointment settled in the pit of her stomach. Big surprise. Prattling on about your ex isn’t the way to kick off a night of seduction. The least she could do was let him off the hook gracefully. “No, thanks. I’m good. I’m sure you have to get up early tomorrow, and take care of a billion things.”