“I’ve already told them yes. I want you to come with me.”
She shook her head even harder. Her hands bunched into fists. “I can’t come with you to…to…” She raised an arm and extended it toward the door, and he noticed it shook. “I can’t move to Cincinnati, Josh. I’m pregnant.”
Silence followed, and the words echoed around the room—or his mind—possibly both. All he could hear was, I’m pregnant, I’m pregnant, I’m pregnant. He shook his head to clear it. “You’re what?”
“I’m pregnant. I found out for sure today.”
Holy shit, you’re going to be a father. The realization left him slightly light-headed, until a detail from his conversation with Roger clicked through his mind. When he’d mentioned buying wine for tonight, the other man had said, “You won’t need that.” All the thoughts swirling inside him turned to iron shavings and flew toward the magnet of that recollection.
He put the ring on the coffee table and stood. “You told Roger. You told Roger before you told me.”
“You told your old boss you’d take a job in Cincinnati before you even asked me about it. But now you see why you can’t accept. Our support network is here—friends, my family…” She made an all-encompassing circle with her hands.
Fuck. This wasn’t going the way he’d imagined. The whole “I’m pregnant” news represented a massive un-factored element. A minefield of emotions he didn’t have time to tiptoe through suddenly lay before him. Was he ready? Would he make a good father?
Melody’s reaction, on the other hand, was pure emotion, and that’s where he needed to do the tiptoeing. Persuade her with logic. He paced a couple of steps, lined up his arguments, and paced back.
“Cincinnati’s only two hours away, and my job is there. A job that just became more important because I have a child to support. I’m not asking
you to move to Timbuktu, for Christ’s sake. As chief of the CFD my hours will be much more regular. We can come down on weekends and visit. Your job—okay, granted, I don’t see how you can keep working for Ellie—but if you want to work, the good news is there are doctor’s offices in Ohio, too.” Nice and logical. She can’t argue with anything you said.
He should have stopped there, but he didn’t. He pushed his luck because he wanted to convince her. “There’s a support network in Cincinnati, too. I have friends—”
A humorless laugh cut him off. “Oh no. Don’t even go there. I met your friends last night, remember?” She shuddered. “I would never fit in with that crowd.”
Okay, wrong tactic. As of right now, she had a better support network here. But she would make new friends, dammit. The Cinci FD stood by its own. He sat down on the sofa, close to her, but not touching her. “You would if you tried. Don’t judge the possibilities by one crappy night confronting my past.”
“I’m not. I’m thinking about the future. Living in Cincinnati, raising a family there…? That’s not the future I want for us…for our child.”
Debating what she wanted was a losing battle. The sinking sense of a stalemate made his voice rougher than he intended. “No, you want me to turn down the career opportunity of a lifetime because you’re afraid you’ll be homesick. That’s the wrong attitude. You should be looking at this as a chance to start a new phase of your life with the man who loves you, and the father of your child. Where’s the tragedy in that?”
“Gosh, you’re smart. In addition to unilaterally deciding where we should raise our child, you’re qualified to tell me how I should feel.”
Her expression grew resolute, and he could feel her walls going up. She picked up the ring box, looked at the diamond, and then at him. “Have you even considered staying here?”
Honest seemed like the best policy. “No. Bluelick, I never intended to stay here long-term. I told you that going in.”
She nodded, put the ring on the table, and stood. So much for honesty.
“You did. I have to go.”
He stood, too. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I don’t know what it means.” A sob punctuated the admission and her icy control dissolved. Trembles racked her body and her teeth chattered. He reached for her but she quickly stepped away. “I don’t know how to respond. This isn’t a proposal, it’s an ultimatum. It’s too much, and it’s too hard, and it’s not what I want, and I can’t…”
Her voice rose on every word until she approached hysterical. He countered the high emotions with extreme calm. “Sit down. We’ll talk.”
“No.” She shook her head and headed to the door. “What’s left to talk about? You may not think my feelings are valid, but they are what they are. And you won’t consider the alternative. Even if I convinced you to stay, you’d resent me for killing your perfect opportunity, and the resentment would eat at the relationship until all you had left was a bitter taste in your mouth. It’s ruined.”
“What about the baby?” he asked softly. “What about love?”
“Right now I can’t think past this—you made a major life decision without even checking with me. That sounds a lot like my last relationship, and I promised myself I’d never make that mistake again.”
He couldn’t believe his ears. “You’re comparing me to Roger? Bluelick, I am not stringing you along while I figure out who I am and what I want. I know who I am—”
“But you don’t know who I am, and you don’t care what I want.” He took her arms and turned her around to face him. She refused to meet his eyes, but placed a protective hand over her stomach.
He placed his hand over hers. “We want the same thing. I’m asking for one compromise.”