“What if I got a place in Crescent Cove? I mean, if it worked out. If she hasn’t found someone else. If she still wants to see me again.”
“A lot of what ifs and just plain ifs. Seems to me you need to start asking some questions and listening—really listening—to the answers.”
“Yes, I do.” I wiped my mouth with my napkin and sat back in my chair. “I suppose I need to do that with you and Da too. I always assumed he was glad I’d gone.”
“Oh, my sweet boy. You couldn’t be more wrong. He believes you were glad to be rid of us.” She pushed aside her half-eaten stew. I hoped I hadn’t been the cause of her lackluster appetite, but I had to wonder. “I have to admit, the thought has crossed my mind too.”
“Never. I swear.” I reached for her hand and cupped it between both of mine. “That was the other reason I came here. You’re right. I’ve focused on work to the exclusion of all else. And I’ve made great strides, but I’m alone.” The word felt like a razor against my vocal cords. I could barely get it out. “I always liked my solitude.”
“Until now.”
Wordlessly, I nodded.
“Love changes everything. Opens up your eyes to what you’ve deliberately looked away from.” She squeezed my hand. “Like how you never could catch a decent fish.”
I laughed softly and met her unwavering gaze. “I’m so glad I came, Ma.”
Her eyes dampened for just a second before they were clear and true once again. “I am too, sweetheart. Now tell me you’ll stay for more than a few days.”
I nodded. I hadn’t planned on staying long, but it looked as if I’d be extending my visit a bit.
Once I returned to the States, I would be going back to Ivy.
Whatever that meant.
Nineteen
Two weeks later
I did two things upon arriving in New York after my visit with my folks.
And Thomas, my smart-mouthed little brother who thought he was teaching me something when he offered to take me to some gentleman’s club he had discovered. And Maureen, my now sizable younger sister with her equally sizable rock on her hand and her far too smiley husband. And the town at large, meeting friends old and new.
Leaving had been surprisingly difficult. I’d never wanted to stay as much as I did this time. Partly because my village—my family—seemed more welcoming than I remembered. Partly because I didn’t want to deal with what might be waiting for me on the other side of the pond.
But all good things came to an end, and I left promising to return soon. I even meant it.
Possibly even with Ivy.
Lots of possibilities there, and just as many chances for failure. I just couldn’t dwell on those now.
The trip back to the States was long and tiring. I was restless and couldn’t settle, never mind sleep. At least they didn’t lose my luggage, a minor miracle. I’d worn the fisherman’s sweater my mum had knitted me just in case.
The one she’d whipped up like a damn demon for Ivy was tucked away in my pack, along with the piece of jewelry I’d picked up for her on a whim in a small shop in Belfast. My sister was always one for shopping, and when she’d heard I had a “stór”, she’d taken me to all the best places featuring handcrafted pieces.
I’d tried to explain my relationship with Ivy was complicated, but she wouldn’t hear it. To her, the world was a rosy bowl of happiness.
It had to be the hormones swimming through her veins. No one had cause to be that happy. Pregnancy glow or not.
Now all of that was behind me, and the gifts I’d possibly foolishly brought home for Ivy were safe in my luggage.
Unlike me. I’d cast safety to the wind.
I rubbed my chest where I’d inked part of my soul. Dramatic? A bit. But an Irishman was entitled to some poetry when he’d found the love of his life.
Perhaps I was reclaiming that side of myself as well.
All that remained before I completed the final leg of my journey was to snip off two dangling threads.