My watch buzzed a reminder, and I quickly dropped the money for lunch on the table. “I’ve got to go get Dani. Do you want to come with me? I guarantee she has a Christmas list to show you. I’ve gotten three different versions of it. One text, one email, and one handwritten.”
Jessica laughed. “She emailed me one too. Even posted it on her Instagram.”
“I really wish you hadn’t set that up for her.”
“Really? Pretty sure you wouldn’t be with that waspish woman otherwise.”
I had to laugh. That was probably the most appropriate word to describe Macy I’d ever heard. She did have quite the sting. But she also loved fiercely and would defend her people until the end.
God, I loved her.
Jessica blotted her lips then pulled out a compact to fix her flawless face. “Besides, our daughter loves to play matchmaker. We’re lucky she didn’t go Parent Trap on us.”
I choked on my fry. “Jesus, no.”
She gave me that haughty look I would never miss in all my days on this Earth. Then suddenly, there was a touch of worry. “Will Danielle be excited to see me?”
“Always.” I slid out of the booth and held out her wrap for her. “Let’s go get our daughter.”
Eighteen
My ordinary day ended with the café door opening and my boyfriend strolling in. Except he wasn’t alone.
Somehow I’d just bought myself a one-way ticket straight into my past.
As my fingers clenched around the twenty in my hand, I kept breathing. What else could I do?
“Macy? My change?”
I barely heard Mrs. Coy. I certainly didn’t react to her. How could I, when I couldn’t look away from the sweet family scene happening right in front of me?
John and Jessica having an animated conversation. John shaking his head with a smile. Then Dani letting out a little squeal and rushing across the room to throw her arms around her mother. Jessica idly stroking Dani’s braid—a braid I’d put in her hair after school—with glossy nails that had probably never had coffee grounds or anything untidy underneath them.
I lifted my hand and studied my own manicure. Oh, yeah, that’s right. I didn’t have one. Because I had my hands in soapy water half a dozen times a day, and I was brutal on any polish. But I still could braid Dani’s hair just fine. I could still laugh with her and take her to school and field her embarrassing questions.
Like on the way home today, she’d asked if it felt good to tongue-kiss, because she was convinced tongues were slimy and she’d rather eat worms.
At the time, I’d evaded and tried to act like yeah, it felt good, but it only in a committed relationship. Then I’d backtracked and said it was okay to kiss someone even if you weren’t committed, as long as you wanted to and you liked them. That kissing could be fun, but it was important to set boundaries. Fumbling through every damn word but being so careful I didn’t unintentionally fuck up Gideon’s kid.
All the while, Dani had frowned at me as if I was making no sense. I probably hadn’t. I wasn’t a mom. Probably never would be.
Some people were cut out for it. In this town, it seemed as if everyone was.
For some reason, I kept falling for kids I could never have.
I didn’t care about the man. He’d just helped me break my dry streak. It wasn’t as if I had actual feelings for him—
A tear splashed on the back of the hand gripping the twenty and I stared at it in shock as it burned my skin. Like fire. Like if I watched, a hole would open up in my skin like the pit opening up inside my chest.
“Macy?” Mrs. Coy’s voice gentled as she reached out to touch me and I jumped back as if she’d hit me with a bucket of blazing hot water.
I could feel more tears trying to gather, the process almost painful because I didn’t usually fucking cry so easily, dammit. I wasn’t that person. I handled my shit. It had been a long, tiring day and I was running on empty, but I didn’t normally weep as if my heart was breaking.
What heart? No one in town thought I had one. I’d almost convinced myself.
Then John looked away from Dani and his gaze caught mine. For a second, just one, his smile softened. Something that sure as fuck seemed like genuine emotion shifted over his face and my pulse slowed, the panic receding, a calmness dropping over me.
There was an explanation. There had to be. He’d gotten that strange call that had niggled at me all day, and it had obviously been Jessica. There had to be a reason why it hadn’t told me.