“I am,” I growled before I took a deep breath. “Then what’s going on?”
“It’s Cohen.”
Every terrible scenario blasted through my brain. My middle brother was a smoke jumper in California. He’d always been the daredevil in our family, even more so than Ezra. He’d channeled that into saving people instead of doing stunts on his dirt bike on the dangerous tracks he’d rode on during his teen years. He’d always picked out the most challenging ones to give us all nightmares.
“He’s okay?”
“He’s fine, Tish, I promise. Just a little messed up.” He went quiet for a moment. “Okay, more than a little. He lost Jimmy on the job.”
“Oh, God.” I fell back on my butt on the rocks. The flash of pain up my tailbone had nothing on the vise around my heart.
Immediately, I pictured Jimmy’s cocky swagger with his sunny hair flowing down his back. Those thick, myriad shades of blond strands had been my favorite thing to tangle my fingers in.
And then to pull when the hot fever of need had blown wild and fierce between us for that secret month in July.
“Not Jimmy.”
He’d been my brother’s best friend since they’d met during smoke jumper training. They were the youngest guys to be added to the Alpha team for his unit.
Jimmy and Cohen had been inseparable until that summer we’d had a very ill-advised fling that had ended in a blade I hadn’t seen coming. I’d nursed the wound alone in the mountains of Colorado.
My family didn’t know what he’d done. Now they never would.
And it didn’t matter.
I sucked back the sob that was trapped in my chest like a frightened bird. The only thing that mattered was my brother.
Ezra’s voice dragged me back from the past. “Cohen isn’t doing great. We had to kick his ass to even get him into rehab.”
Get it together, Burns. “Why the hell didn’t you call me sooner?”
“He didn’t want to worry you.”
“Damn idiot.” They still treated me like I was twelve. “How bad is he?”
“Just a busted leg, but it was a serious fracture so he’s gotta do the whole physical therapy thing. He should be done the first week of December. I figured your place would be a good place to plant him for awhile.”
“Of course.”
The words came out before I could think better of it. I mean, of course I’d take in my brother and my family, but my place was definitely not ready for them.
At all. And neither was I.
I pushed away the memory of Jimmy’s startlingly blue eyes. His laughter and the arctic chill of his deception vied for dominance. I slammed those memories back into the metal box I’d put them in years ago then hauled myself to my feet and crunched my way back over the shoreline stones to the grass strewn with leaves.
The half acre of land between the water and my house was a quick trip. It wasn’t a large farmhouse by any means. In fact, it was only a three-bedroom place. Not nearly enough room for all my roughhousing brothers. Even if one was laid up and probably hurting far more than he’d let on.
“We won’t need much.”
“Ha.” I snorted. “Right.”
“Hey, you’re the one who was crowing about how amazing your house was. Now I’m going to hold you to it.”
Relief warred with sorrow as I tried to get my mind working again. “Yeah, yeah.” I wished I could say I hadn’t. But being the baby of the family and being the first to buy a house had left my ego a little unchecked. “Is Dad coming too?”
“Yep. The Burns family will be back together, baby. I’ll check in later, Ging.”
“Okay. Talk soon.”