“I’ll give you careful.” She shot me a look Jean would’ve applauded and wiggled and shimmied her way into the seat, waving off my help.
I shrugged and shut her door, then rounded the hood. Some people just didn’t appreciate a kind gesture.
No sooner had I pulled away from the curb did she drop her next bomb on me.
“Not Dairy Burger,” she complained as I turned left to head toward a local establishment. “I want McD’s.”
“Of course you do.”
“You try being pregnant. Cravings are a very specific thing and substitutes will not do.”
I shuddered. “I’d rather castrate myself with a jar of Vaseline and a pair of pliers.”
“There’s an image.” She giggled. “Ursula would be so disappointed.”
I turned onto a side street to reverse direction. Naturally, McDonald’s had to be the opposite way. “She wants me for more than my manly attributes.”
That earned me another snort. “Yeah, she’d be happy with the other thing in your pants too. Except that one’s square and made of leather.”
“You have a suspicious mind, just like my father.”
“And you don’t?”
I did, which was exactly why it had taken me longer than my twin to start circulating much socially. What could I say? I’d always been an overachiever.
But I was not a manwhore, despite what some might think. I was far more discriminating than many gave me credit for.
“Being wise isn’t the same as being suspicious. For that matter, a man can enjoy dinner and drinks with a woman without engaging in pleasures of the flesh. Frankly, it disturbs me that everything becomes about sex with you women.”
“Us women? Which women are you referring to, may I ask? And everything is not about sex with me right now. I can verify that it’s been exactly three weeks and—”
“Enough.” I held up a hand. “If you want your strawberry shake to dunk your French fries in—disgusting, by the way—you’ll cease that line of conversation.”
“Then what women do you mean?” I could hear her grin in her voice. “I saw Jean and Stacy go into the break room after you. Did Jean give you a hard time again?” Ally examined her manicure. “We know Stacy wouldn’t have. I bet you left her mute.”
I didn’t respond. Somehow, I had a feeling it didn’t matter what I said in my own defense. The scarlet M had been affixed to my chest in indelible ink.
“Or was it Sage who ruffled your feathers?” Ally continued, drumming her fingers on the door. “She was pretty PO’d because of the coffee spill and Greta. I wouldn’t take it personally.”
“When do I ever take her scurrilous personality personally?” I signaled to turn into the McDonalds, smothering a sigh at the half dozen cars ahead of us in line.
Didn’t anyone ever eat at home anymore?
“She’s going on that trip this weekend. To Vegas. I’m sure you heard about it. She’s been talking about it since—”
“Halloween,” I interjected sourly. “Yes, I’ve heard about it. The trip where she hopes to get possibly kidnapped and sold into the sex trade by unscrupulous individuals.”
Ally gasped. “You did not just say that. A woman is entitled to go have a good time.”
“I didn’t say she wasn’t. But it can be dangerous for a naive young woman to travel alone, especially when she’s made it quite clear she’s leaving her inhibitions at home. Not everyone is worthy of trust, and I’m just concerned she may not make the best choices if the men she meets aren’t upfront with her.” I shrugged and tapped the gas to move forward half an inch. “Not my problem.”
“I knew it.” Ally snapped her fingers. “I could tell you were concerned.”
“As I would be for anyone in such a situation.”
“Right. If Seth said he was going to Vegas to find a hookup, you’d surely get your boxers in a bunch.”
“In case you’ve forgotten, Seth is married, so I would get a good lawyer on speed dial for him.” I smirked. “But no, I wouldn’t get my ‘boxers in a bunch’ because he’s a man of the world and—”